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hellohello1

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  1. DAY 30 of not initiating any contact (although he has reached out 7 or 8 times)..im scared but proud of myself..
  2. i miss you so much right now..where are you? it hurts not knowing what youre up to, who youre with..and i know youre hurting too, you even told me you were..it hurts seeing those pics..but i think you are trying to making me jealous..you are surprised i havent initiated any form of contact in 4 weeks tomorrow..why do you keep randomly contacting me about nothing? is it to check to make sure im still around? to test the waters? make sure you still have your safety net? you were actually shocked i was going to the lake without you. i hope you have realized that i am not your safety net, you dont have one. hope you realize that real quick..
  3. DAY 27 - i am in pain today..the past few days have been really bad, and i have been hurting..even have some pain in my stomach..i miss you so bad..please come back to me..
  4. i have a story: my sister and her boyfriend dated for about 3 years...she was clingy and controlling i thinnk..anyway so he broke up with her, told her he didnt love her, didnt ever want to be wtih her, wanted her to be with other people, it would make him happy for him to move on..all of this crap, she was absolutely devasted. they did not speak to each other other than a happy birthday text in 4 months. they had mutual friends, and she would hear about or see him around with random girls and she was absolutely heartbroken..after 4 months of broken up he saw her with a guys arm around her..apparently he had a sleepless night that night and paniced and called her the next day..they took a while to reconcile but they are back together and that was over 2 years ago..theyre happier than they were before..sometimes people say things they dont mean (i want to see you with other people!)..people dont know what they have until its truly gone..
  5. DAY 26 of NIC..part of me wishes i was strong enough to say day 26 of NC..oh well, im still proud of not initiating any form of contact in nearly a month!! it is easier than it was before, but i still have rough times..like right now
  6. day 25 of no initiated contact..im having a rough time tonight..weekends are the hardest..just alone right now..i hate being alone..having a tough time ..i am not going to call him and dont even want to (as much as i want to be back with him), just hate being lonely and alone..
  7. day 22 of NIC...i have not contacted him in 22 days, been broken up 5 weeks..i have had some setbacks but am doing okay..going away today for a few days, normally spend the long weekend together but wont this year, kind of depressing...but im going to go out and have fun..ever since i stopped contacting him he has contacted me about 5 or 6 times, and i have responded to it just friendly and brief though, hasnt been contact from him since 6 days ago which is our longest without speaking to each other yet..i still have him on facebook but i think im just going to completely stay away from a while, including not contacting him back if he contacts me, and also not updating anything on facebook, or even going on at all for a while..need to get away..thanks for listening i know he is missing me, and thinking about me, when we have spoken he has told me how all the time he misses me, wants to contact me, has thought severa ltimes about getting back together, but neds to find himself and figure out who he is..it hurts because he added a pic of him on facebook, nothing big he is just smiling and it hurts to see him happy (not that i dont ever want him to be happy..)..i want him to find himself, and i am actually smiling lots now and trying to move on..it just hurts..i wonder if he will ever realize he wnats me back..
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