What to do?

[Cid]

Ok I think this is the place I put this.

 

Now here is my problem I have been seeing this girl for about 2-3 months and I have deep feeling for her. Outher people say that she might too. The main thing is that I want to go steady. We have talked about it and desided we will not go fourther then we are now until we find out if she is actived. (that is frends that likes to hold each outher and be all tuchey) But we went a step fourther then I thought. She asked me why I havent kissed her yet I told her that I was shy and did not know what to do. Then we madeout for 3+hrs now I dont know what to do. Should I ask her to go steady? Or something else? Please help me with this problem.

 

Thanks.

[secret_agent_man]

Hi Cid!

 

My best suggestion is to follow your heart on this one, if you're interested in starting a more serious relationship with her, tell her! If you never try, it'll never go anywhere... so I say just give it a shot, she seems to be interested from what you wrote.

 

All in all, getting over shyness is easier than you think... you almost consiously hold yourself back. So, just let go and tell her how you feel!

 

Good luck, keep us updated!

S.A.M.

[SunnyScott]

Yes!

 

This girl is lucky. Tell her that you want to go steady, if she's a horny girl, she needs to slow down, and respect the development of a potentially, serious relationship.

 

Most ladies would be happy to be with a guy like you. Taking things slow just shows how serious you want to be with them....Good luck, and keep us updated!

[Cid]

Ok I will give it a try and I will keep you posted on what happens thanks with the help. Advice on how to ask her well be helpfull i have 1 week before she is back in town.

[Chris4430]

HI Cid!

Sure you can ask her to go steady if you would like and feel that is where things are going! In fact why not look at the positives with her as well? I mean you say you are shy and well, this is a big ego boost for you to be with her. It sounds like she pretty much wants to be serious too otherwise she would not have asked about the kissing. Of course you can never anticipate how serious or far a woman will want to go, I mean what if she said, no let's just be friends? Although I think she wants to be more than that. When it comes to kissing, here is what I do…. I ask, I don't just lay a kiss on a woman. Nor do I rush that. It doesn't have to be weeks or months either before you do that. Instead, after some dates, being close, holding hands, and so on, you get close, and say,,, would you like to kiss?? Then once you have done that you are the man!! Because really you are initiating that! So, she will probably say yeah sure… Then kiss. With a woman you have to watch for her cues to the next step, you have to be somewhat bold to ask about the next step as well. Asking is both respectful, and gives her a choice, and it is often fruitful as well. If you are cuddling and she is touching you a lot, you may ask, can I put my hand here or here?? If she says yeah, you are getting there! Of course as you get more involved you will understand eachother's cues more and more, and sometimes the communication is understood. However it is always good to be bold and ask as well later on as well… You may say later on to her, do you want to make love? And she may say no today I cannot because it is my period or something. Don't ever assume that women don't want to be intimate or close, a lot of times they do, but don't assume that these things are just for the taking either, they are not. Look at each relationship, each lady you get to know and meet as a feather in your cap. You may meet some woman initially as just a friend, she may even be dating another guy, but you can have a respectful friendship with such a woman. And most importantly, it boosts your ego with each one you got to know. Say, Hi I am Cid, how are things going today, and what are you studying, what's your major, funny weather we are having today… and so on. Small talk can go a hell of a long way. The girl I am dating now, I met her in the lunch line at college. Oh, some of the food here is good, blah blah blah… She walked by me when I sat down at the table later, I pushed out a chair, and said would you like a seat? And wow what a hot relationship I ended up having with her!! Shyness only says, I don't believe in myself yet, someday you will believe in yourself and shyness will yield to confidence. Only if you make that effort though. Remember DO, don't try. I took some time to write to you Cid because I feel that you can overcome your shyness in time. Of course we will all have some shyness we live with. The knowledge of knowing that you can meet women, can kiss them, can get past second base, will break down the shyness into something someday you will call confidence. Cid, try this, visualize in your mind the postive outcomes you would like to see with this lady or that, and go through the steps in your mind to achieve those things, and see a productive outcome. Then ask her out, ask for the kiss and so, and see if the result doesn't show up a bit better. I think it will.