Incompatible with EVERYONE?

[stopit]

What if you are just too weird for people to handle? Where do the weird people go to make friends?

 

Okay, so seriously, I feel like I have no common interests with anyone. I don't even know what my interests are; I just know that I don't laugh at the same things my friends do. So do I just feign interest in their conversations? It's like I can't carry a conversation outside the daily routine of things.

 

I remember once talking to someone who was depressed and a bit of a loner. He told me that it's greatly ironic that people who are depressed and have been missing out on their lives in states of lethargy don't have great stories to tell. Sure, they can talk about their depression and their experiences with it, but who wants to hear about depressing things all the time? It's like by being depressed, you miss out on the social wagon, and then you have to chase after it when it's already speeding away. I'm not depressed, but I used to be for a while. And I've missed out on a lot because of it.

 

There was this article I read that said how gossip is a social tool that gives people leverage. The exchange of gossip leads to socializing. But if you have no gossip in the first place, what do you exchange? How do you get in on the circle when you have nothing to offer?

 

Not that I want in on great gossip stories. I'm not really interested in that type of thing, but the point goes beyond gossip. It's just commonground from which friendship can grow, but if you don't have that commonground in the first place, what are you to do?

[Sweet-Savage]

Well I think along the same lines as you, when I talk to most people I try to think of positive stories and experiences that I have had in the past but because I didn't have many friends and suffered from depression for a while I didn't have much to say.

 

I still have doubts to when I do meet someone or go out with people that when it comes to story-telling I'll come up short. A recent friend of mine from Germany talked to me about his life story and even had photographs to go with it.

 

I just wish that I had more interesting things about myself, I'd like to do a lot more things with poeple as I know it's the way forward, I want to have something good to reflect on when I'm older.

[matius]

Okay, so seriously, I feel like I have no common interests with anyone. I don't even know what my interests are;

 

"I have nuthin' to say... now say it back and listen."

 

In order to relate, you should figure out what your interests are. Even being alone you must know what you like to do. Even if it doesn't involve others.

 

I do understand though, I don't think I really fit in well either. I don't have a whole lot of friends and I feel like I'm walking around on the outside; but I'm working on it.

 

It's important to find your place... and you do that by knowing who you are and what your interests are. Time to do some digging.

[reisforpeace]

I dont know how old you are if you are in high school or what bc this advice kinda depends on your age. People like to bond over stuff like T.V. shows or clubs and stuff like that. Join a club or something and that way you can meet people that at least share something with you a little. If you dont know what club you would even join then maybe go around looking for one. who knows u might end up finding something that you like. My friend once said "people don't bond over their love for guacamole, they bond over the fact that they got food poisening from the guacamole and were throwing up all night." i guess what she said goes against my whole join a club plan but the point is that maybe you can bond over a trip or something? Things tend to go wrong at least a little on almost every trip. (at least the trips my school takes us on) and then people bond over the memories that at the time seemed painful but after the fact turned out to be funny. If your not in school than maybe go to a local book store or a poetry reading if u like peotry (just an example) thats also a good way to meet people and that way you automatically have something to start talking about. If you meet someone a little bit more out going than your self chances are that they will do a lot of the talking and you can do a lot of nodding if you really think that you have nothing to say.

[stopit]

In order to relate, you should figure out what your interests are. Even being alone you must know what you like to do. Even if it doesn't involve others.

 

It's not interests so much as having stories to tell that are interesting. My friends are able to pull up the most random accounts that are relevant to the topic at hand, and I'm just amazed. I feel so unlived, like I haven't many interesting observations, or interesting tales. I'm a good listener, at the least, but when a conversation is rolling between a group of people, I generally feel what I have to say isn't interesting enough or funny enough to be said.

 

Reisforpeace, I definitely agree that those type of experiences in which something goes wrong help you bond. But those experiences don't come up everyday. I guess I should try to be more active, and joins more clubs, as you say, but I've been doing that and it hasn't really worked out so well.

 

Sweet Savage, I'm glad you know what I'm talking about! For me though, it's not just the lack of experiences and stories to tell. It's also my acquired pessimism from my past and my cynicism towards others. I try to be positive, but I tend to give an air of negativity. And I guess part of the trouble is that I'm not really open to others, and people respond when you tell them personal things, which I don't exactly do. I don't really know how to shake all this off, because it's part of who I am as a result of my past.