Successful marriage's equation

[devast]

I am not a married man yet ( I am looking forward into it), but I thought this makes sense....

 

We are created unique from each other.. Definitely when you have a relationship with someone, you'll have personality, attitude, characteristics..etc conflicts with your partner.

 

You should know that before you get involved with someone and most especially marry someone...

 

I would say I will think about this first.....

 

Successful marriage(relationships) = 30% love + 70% sacrifice (working things out)

 

When you get attracted there are definitely many reasons that you like about this attractions... this are the reasons that makes you fall in love... o you have the 30% now more or less....

 

Now the big deal is... are you willing to stay? this is the 70% that you would rethink even when you are already in the relationship or marriage...

 

And if your willing to fulfill the 70%... there is a big possibility to live a happy married life.... after all... when you grow old, you don't have the courage of being intimate with each other, I think..LOL... but more to being "there for each other"... companionship until the other or both dies...

 

I guess I have the tendency to marry someone I don't love, but I can completely get along with.... Perfect 70% is worth the gamble than just perfect 30%...

[spinstermanquee]

Think about this... perfection in imperfection. It arises when the strengths and shortcomings of each partner balance. It IS possible to have great love without sacrificing important "requirements" in a relationship. I like to call it the "big uglies." If you and your partner both accept the big uglies of the other, then what a great thing! Going in with both eyes open but still being totally in love with the other. Just give it plenty of time - the best recipe for a smart decision...

[brando]

Where did this marriage equation come from??? What source did you find it in??? I am curious.

[shes2smart]

Personally, I think if you're "working things out" nearly three-quarters of the time, it's not the most compatible match you can find. Maybe your definition of "working things out" is different than what I'm thinking, or perhaps your tolerance for bickering and disagreeing is higher than mine (which is, admittedly, lower than average.)

 

I've been married for coming up on 5 years in July. He proposed a week after our first date and we got married less than a year after meeting. Most people would say that's not really enough time to get to know each other before taking that step. And if we were talkin' about some of the other relationships I'd been in, they'd be absolutely right.

 

What was apparent to both myself and my husband fairly quickly was that we thought in very similar ways. When presented with issues that other couples would clash over, we tend to arrive at the same conclusion separately so there's no reason to clash. We also had similar relationship goals for ourselves in mind before we ever met each other. Add a dash of attraction and chemistry and that's how we ended up married in less than a year.

 

Certainly we have differing opinions on things at times...but if it was anything even approaching half the time, I probably never would've gotten married because I'd have known from previous experience that was going to get old fast.

[lostNspace]

I would say it's 30% passion and 70% compassion. Which is pretty much "love" and "sacrifice."

 

I don't think sacrifice in this case means always having to work things out as much as it means the willingness to do for the other person and to take their feelings into consideration and to put the other person first, even if it means you have to make a "sacrifice" to do so.

[JadedStar]

I would have negated the 30% LOVE 70% Commitment ratio years ago when i was a romantic more than a realist but i would say that is probably a fair analogy. However, i think it starts out 70% love and 30% commitment but over time when the honeymooon period wanes you still love that person, but temptations are plentiful, and conflicts in personality WILL occur and that is probably when the ratio begins to shift, when true commitment takes over and these couples are probably WAY MORE likely to stay together than the one who is 70% in love and 30% committed.

 

I see this other ratio all the time. In life, on forums. The person claims to be so emphatically in love but their commitment level is off so the relationship is destroyed.

 

I truly believe that as we stay with someone we love that over time the commitment we have to them is as important or moreso than the love. I have learned this thru my years of life and 20 years ago would have answered this differently.

 

Without commitment you have nothing. This does not mean love or staying together is a constant struggle but anyone who has been with someone a long time KNOWS that if someone is not very commitment minded you can forget it. Temptation at some point will rear its ugly head sooner or later. Those of you who think it can never happen to you...ah it can. It definitely can if your partner is not very commitment minded.

 

Love is the heart of a relationship but commitment is the spine of it.

[JadedStar]

I would say it's 30% passion and 70% compassion. Which is pretty much "love" and "sacrifice."

 

I don't think sacrifice in this case means always having to work things out as much as it means the willingness to do for the other person and to take their feelings into consideration and to put the other person first, even if it means you have to make a "sacrifice" to do so.

 

I think tihs is all symantics. You can substitue the word love for passion and the word commitment for compassion and you have a very similar concoction.

 

I agree with your second paragraph wholeheartedly.

[devast]

This equation came from my personal experience and as I look back to my past relationships..and similarly an analogy of other people's experiences in this forum..

 

Some may agree or same may not... most will have a different analogy... but I believe.. the whole sense of the equation will stand out...

 

70% working things out (sacrifice) = what I actually mean were every aspect one considers other than just love... its just so many many things that would take me years to enumerate...

 

So I believe from the whole equation, "love" still is the greatest factor among all and every considerations, in getting married..

[devast]

Personally, I think if you're "working things out" nearly three-quarters of the time, it's not the most compatible match you can find. Maybe your definition of "working things out" is different than what I'm thinking, or perhaps your tolerance for bickering and disagreeing is higher than mine (which is, admittedly, lower than average.)

 

 

Well... that's is why me and my ex broke up after all this time that we've planned on getting married..

 

Why?coz she's perfectly in love with me, yet can't go on work out with me, as I am willing to work out with her, even if its forever...

 

I would wait for her, should she be willing to put up a little more to "working things out" percentage...but then... maybe not..

 

I made this equation... but bear in mind it may apply to us personally... but if it's not matched by your partner... then I guess.. everything will just not work..