Too late to help her?

[buffalosoldier]

So here goes...

my best friend moved about 200 miles away from where i live about 3 and a half years ago.i wasnt sure whether we would still keep in touch,but we did and even though she is so far away i still go and visit her regularly and still consider her my best friend.

but for the past two years she has been together with this complete LOSER.he has cheated on her(she knows about this and still took him back) and he generally speaks to her as if she meant nothing to him.

of course i dont know the full story,but i do know what she tells me when she calls me up crying her eyes out coz he's been horrible to her again.

im at my wits end,they split up less than a week ago and already he's been going round to her place and they've been meeting up.

 

thing is,im running out of things to say to her,advice to give.should i just carrry on being there for her even though she doesnt appear to be listening to a word i say?? i feel like telling her to get her act together but i know how hard it can be trying to let someone go.she says she loves him,but doesnt like him as a person.-which i understand,they dont really get along at all,shes constantly accusing him of being with other girls again,and he just acts like an as*hole.

 

is there anything i can say or do?im sick of watching her be let down by bloke after bloke,she had a very unhappy childhood,got abused,got put in various foster and childrens homes, and most of her siblings have turned out to be depressed drug users or have just generally gone mad in the head coz of the way they were treated.-shes the only one that appears to have pulled through and come out the other side,and i know she is a strong person,so can i help her?i hate the thought of her being lonely and upset and knowing i cant just jump in the car and go see her.please help if you can

xxx

[lilcherub]

Truthfully, you can only help those who want to help themselves. Ultimately she is the one making these decisions to get back together again and again.

 

Its called a pattern, it goes in a vicous cycle, and it will happen again and again until she realises on her own the pattern she is living in.

 

The best thing to do is be her friend, true friends will stay by your side through thick and thin, rain or shine etc etc. No matter what.

 

What you should do is pose this question.

 

Why do you take him back?

 

 

And if she says because she is in love with him , well then you know there is not much you can do because at that point she is living in a fantasy world where she don't loved unless she gets the treatment she does.

 

 

Again its hard to truly say unless I was in your position and i have had friends who are or have been in her situation.

 

just be a friend

 

 

Lilcherub

[Braidy Jones]

Be a friend and be there for her no matter what. Friends are a true link to the past and the present as they all help to make up the person you become.