Several Issues.. please help

[Finch]

Alright, well I just recently got back together with my ex girlfriend. We broke up over the summer, and just recently got back together. We are VERY happy at the moment. She and I both realized that we love being with each other and we are happy most with each other. There is a few issues that I'm dealing with. I hope you will read this and reply, despite it being long because I really need some advice right now. Thanks in advance!

 

First off, she hooked up with several guys over the summer, which I would have expected. She's a decent looking girl, and she was wanting some kind of action. I'm just worried right now that these guys are going to influence her slowly to break up or cheat on me or something. She isn't the kind of girl to cheat, but I heard rumors during the summer that she had. Anyway, the real issue is that now that school is going on, she often talks to them still and hangs out with them. How do I get over this fear that she is going to leave me again and get with these guys who she hooked up with and might have feelings for?

 

Secondly there is this other girl who I was seeing before I got back together with my ex. We weren't going out or anything, but our relationship was definitely headed in that direction. She's a great girl and I would have gone out with her, but I love my current girlfriend and that's why we got back together. She doesn't know that I'm with my girlfriend right now and we've hung out once since then. She really really likes me, and I like her too, however I'm not going to cheat on my girlfriend. I would just confront her right off, but the problem is that she is friends with my best friends girlfriend. So I'm worried that there is going to be a chain reaction of some sorts. What is the best way to deal with this?

 

Lastly, I want to get a little more physical with my girlfriend. We make out a lot, and that's good, and we obviously care about each other. I heard she wanted to make a move on me the other night when we hung out, but she didn't because she said something like she was just happy being there with me and didn't want to ruin the moment. I'm happy with that, but eventually I want to get somewhat physical. I haven't done anything with a girl other than make out. Should I begin by feeling her up on dates (touching w/ clothes on, the breasts, groan, etc?), and if I feel in the mood should I attempt to finger her? I do want to eventually finger her, so what are some good techniques for this? Any advice in this area is really appreciated. Sex, her and I aren't ready for, so we wouldn't move on to that yet.

 

Thanks so much for reading. I hope you have some helpful replys. Thanks!

[enadevoli]

lots of stuff going on here...

 

about the part with her & those other guys...you shouldn't worry too much about them. shes back with you for a reason, because she likes you. if she is truly happy with you, she wouldn't even be looking at another guy & considering him. its ok to be friends with an ex, it doesn't mean that anything is going on between them. if she has strong feelings towards you, nobody is going to change that, so even if those guys are saying anything, she's probably not even listening. well, she shouldn't be because if those guys are saying anything, its probably out of jealousy.

 

about this other girl...why do you like her? does she have certain qualities that your gf doesn't have that you like?? you are being unfair to both of these girls. you need to tell this other girl that you are back with your gf. if you don't tell her now, but continue to hang out with her, she will eventually find out. it will just be worse later. chances are when she does find out, she will tell her friend, who will most likely tell your gf. since you can't undo the past, it would be better to just get it out of the way now.

 

i think that you need to straighten things out with this other girl. tell her that you have a gf. she probably feels like you like her to (well, you do, but obviously cant do anything about it). you are leading her on.

[Finch]

Well to explain more about these guys.. they are constantly bugging her about getting back together. They still want to hook up with her, and she intends to go to some parties with them sometime soon so that has me worried. Infact, one of the guys asked her to Homecoming dance today, but she declined because she was with me obviously. I think she's kind of leading these guys on, so that has me worried.

 

I like this other girl because she picks up qualities that my current GF lacks. She's just all around great, but her personality isn't exactly matching as my gf and mine. I'm going to tell her this weekend.. so can anyone give me the best advice of letting this girl know what's going on? Should I just be straight forward with her?