A letter...

[buba]

My dear friends on enotalone. It's been a while. I decided to post a letter that I wrote to my ex-husband's evil, alcoholic mother who was always in the middle.

I have a very long thread on this forum.

 

and a follow up...

.

I am wondering if I should send it to her....

It's gross. It's angry.

Still...I wish some of you approved of it being sent.

I will take you advice seriously.

Please, help me decide. there is still time.

 

Happy mothers day to the most EVIL creature in the universe…

Happy mother’s day to someone who cold bloodedly murdered my baby by showing me the door and insisting that I had no choice but to get an abortion…., to someone who paid for her son’s divorce and served me with divorce papers….

Happy mother’s day to someone who’s son once

told me in tears: “Momma hates you and I don’t want to hurt MOMMA”….” She hates everyone I ever dated…”

When I think of your brutal ways, I get chills….I dream of my baby, I wanted to meet him sooooooooo much….it was soooo late for an abortion, I already knew it was a boy…

You insisted I go and get rid of it. EVIL soul.

No, I am not bitter. In fact, I recently graduated from a University and am in a process of opening my private practice in St. Monica. I treat people like you…they “bring me you”…

No, I am not alone…I have a wonderful, supportive man in my life…, but the pain that you inflicted on me….it lingers. I loved your son. With all my heart. You knew it. You were jealous. You went for a kill….he is an addict; it makes him weak…he lives by your rules. He used to love me too. I know it for a fact. That’s why he still hates me.

His current girlfriend had the guts to call me numerous times and insult me. She called me “Disgusting b***ch” and an “a worthless piece of sh**t”….it was you, talking through her. She told me that you showed her my cards; you gave her my number….you, lonely and miserable addict….drink the shame away.

Happy mother’s day to someone who murdered my baby…I cry often, I see him in my dreams, he is a beautiful boy with big eyes and curly hair…I miss him so much. I cry as I write this. I wish I didn’t listen to you.

You said that after an abortion we’ll all be a “Happy family” again…

I loved him so much. I trusted you. I knew you were in charge.

I had an abortion in October, my mom died on Dec. 13th (two months later), divorce was final on Jan. 17th (a month later).

I am surprised I am still here. What would make you happy mommy dearest?

My lifeless body outside your front door?

The pain you caused me…if it wasn’t for university …if it wasn’t for support I was getting from my colleques and fellow students…I wouldn’t be here. Enjoy your mother’s day, mommy dearest. . And till then, make a big raging fuss out of my pain and don’t forget to show it to his girlfriend…I am sure, she will call me some more degrading names.

Drink the shame away!

[agent1607307371]

Don't send it.

 

To let her know you still think about her and dwell on her acts will only make her feel powerful.

[buba]

agent, I was afraid it was coming....

I shouldn't. I know. I needed to get it out though....

so I did.

[buba]

Woke up this morning....furious....had a terrible dream about him again.

Wrote that letter, felt better instantly.

I guess it does work...getting it all out on paper.

wow...it's been a looooooong time and I am still shaken by it at times.

[agent1607307371]

Writing is a wonderfully cathartic act, but maybe burn the letters or something. Sending them is something that will only make you feel worse in the long run.

[sneaker]

If you send it, you're going to regret it.

[buba]

Sneaker, I know.

I won't send it. I really needed to vent though...

It's been over two years since my husband left me.

He lives with another.

I am still trying to overcome it....so hard.

Some days are better than others. Am I going to be hunted by memories forever?

How much longer??????

anyone has been in my shoes? Years after divorce/breakup and still kinda fresh? still hurting?