I think one of my friends is in trouble, and I want to help

[Anamarie89]

One of my very good friends from all through middle school has a lot of problems. Her mom doesn't treat her with respect and she is suicidal (slitting wrists). I'm really worried about her, especially with what I heard from one of my other friends. According to my other friend, she felt really sick yesterday, the morning after the big dance. And my friend also over-heard her talking to somebody (who isn't a mutual friend, just my friend's friend) about hangovers. Can you understand why this makes me worried? Keep in mind, I didn't hear anything direct, but I did hear it through a trustworthy friend.

 

And yesterday, she was talking to me online and she says "It's difficult to be unloved." So I tried to reconcile her in the best way knew how, telling her that I love her (as a friend) and that my other friend loves her and that all her friends love her and her dogs love her, but she said she still felt unloved... but I didn't really know what was going on UNTIL the next day, when i found out her boyfriend (who was a senior) had dumped her. I didn't even know she HAD a boyfriend. And I found that out through someone else.

 

So I'm worried now that she is hanging with a different group, that it might be the wrong group... and I'm just worried. Can anyone shed some light on my situation?

[Gunther]

ouch, that sux. Do you expect any child abuse? assuming you dont just be there for her and try to help her through it. And if you do call Social Services. {im sry to bring that up but if she is being hurt or something it is important she be helpeed}

[Confusing]

Sounds tough. I don't know how old you are, but it seems like you are in high school. I'd suggest talking to somone in your guidance councilor's office. Your school has people on staff or available on an "as needed basis" for teen crisis prevention/intervention.

 

If your friend is slitting her wrists, saying she feels "unloved" and binge drinking with the "wrong crowd" she is making a cry for help. There isn't anything you can say or do that's going to make her feel differently. You can tell her how great she is and that you love her a thousand times, but if she still FEELS unloved she's going to continue on this self destructive path. There isn't anything you can do to convince her otherwise until she recognizes her behavior is self destructive and gets help for her problems.

 

You should tell someone trained to handle this type of situation and who is able to get your friend the kind of help she needs. Even though you are doing it out of love your friend, she may feel betrayed so make sure you tell the guidance dept that everything is being said in confidenec because you are genuinely worried about a friend and think she needs their help. Also be sure to give them the whole story (don't leave out any details) and make sure you tell them about the strained relationship between your friend and her mom otherwise they'll probably call her parents, which could make matters worse.

 

Good luck with everything. Hope you and your friend are both feeling better real soon.