Is the EX over ME????

[deelove2010]

Guy's

 

Do you think after 48days of NC from my EX that this is a TRUE sign that she has forgotton about ME and is truly over me and getting on with her life!

 

I can't believe after 69 days of being on my own I would start to feel better, but I still think of the EX every single day be it GOOD or BAD!!!

 

I would be lying if I didn't have the temptation to email her just to see what's going on! But I don't want to come accross needy or clingy or even worse that I haven't got over her!!!!!

[HDD]

I dont think an ex can forget someone ever. so NO, she hasnt forgotten about you even if its been 48 days. Seriously, if you two were in a relationship and it was special (for whatever period of time)... she will def. think of you. dont email her, call her, nothing. who knows, she might be thinking of the same thing about you. but if she was the dumper, then let her go and move on. if she really truly wanted to, she will call you.

[bear12]

dede, don't you love how we can give each other advice but can't manage our own issues? ironic, huh?

 

well, if you only think about your ex once a day, you're doing remarkably well. i'm lucky if i can make it half an hour without thinking about him! but in any case- even though you were right in what you told me that NC is supposed to be about US healing and not about THEM! but no, i don't think that the fact she hasn't called says anything to whether or not she's forgotten about you or is getting on with her life. i think what it does mean is that she doesn't currently want to get back together with you. but how many stories have you heard about people who had a change of heart months or years later? of course, that's not something you can count on by any means, and we definitely shouldn't focus on that AT ALL, but i think it's true that sometimes you need to see what else is out there to realize how great the thing that you had truly was. and that's not going to happen in 50 ays anyway.

 

and even if she never wants to be with you again (which i suppose is the more likely outcome), i'm sure she'll never forget you! i remember the exs i broke up with fondly and am glad i was able to share a part of my life with them. i'm sure no matter what you'll always have a special place in her heart as well.

[deelove2010]

Thank HDD and Bear

 

I just feel so SAD somedays that the girl who I shared 11mths of my LIFE with has become a total stranger!!!

 

Do you think that they will think of me fondly even if I became a little possivie and clingy towards the end of our relantionsip?

 

I was going through a lot of stress as I lost my farther 3mths before we got together and the stress effected everything about our relantionship including being intimate!!!!

 

I just FEEL I was a NO good LOVER!!! and why would she want to remember me in this way!!!!

[bear12]

dede, yes i really don't think what you described changes anything...

 

i was going through a really hard time too at the end of my relationship. i was TOTALLY clingy and needy and i think that's partially why it ended.. but i really do believe that they remember the good times and know that that person who you became isn't necessarily the "real" you. going through something like you did is a really traumatic experience and she'd have to be a very cold person to not cut you some slack for the (probably quite natural) way you responded to the pain and stress of the situation.

 

it's a proven psychological fact that we look back on past experiences with rose colored glasses... it's kind of like a natural defense so we can look back on our lives and remember everything fondly and not like we just lived through a bunch of crap! this is bad for us, i suppose, b/c we too tend to focus on only the positives of our past relationships and probably remember our exs as WAY better people than they actually were and remember the good times of the relationship far more than the bad and the times we were unhappy. but the same is true for them too.

 

and i feel like at some point you will talk to her again and won't always remain strangers. it took almost a year with one of my past exes but i now keep in somewhat regular touch with him. there are no feelings there, of course, and i dont' feel a super strong connection with him anymore, but at the same time, it's nice to have him still in my life in some capacity...

[Alaskaman]

Dee, i feel you completely. My ex dumped me in January, and she lives in my apartment building right below me, and its amazing how she is like a stranger to me now. She has a new guy (a long distance guy at that, who she was shortly after getting rid of me), and she pretty much goes out of her way to avoid me. You would think all of this would make me write her off, but of course not.....i still can't get her out of my mind. We have pretty much had no contact for the past 2 months (besides a few texts), but i want to be with her so bad. I have often wondered if the phone calls she gave me after we broke up in January that i did not return (i was starting NC) caused her to just forget me. I often feel like a jerk for not returning those calls (i didnt feel that i could handle it then, and she was acting like nothing happened). She has a new guy now, so i need to stop this, but its hard.

 

The one thing that i keep telling myself is something i read on here....."People who you do good things for never forget you".....and boy did i do good things for her!

[distroyed one]

dede, don't you love how we can give each other advice but can't manage our own issues? ironic, huh?

 

So true that we are so clever when it comes to others, but we can't manage our own lives..

 

well, if you only think about your ex once a day, you're doing remarkably well. i'm lucky if i can make it half an hour without thinking about him!

 

My new record, 15 minutes without thinking about him.. I will be able to completely kick him out of my mind in about 100 years..

[bear12]

My new record, 15 minutes without thinking about him.. I will be able to completely kick him out of my mind in about 100 years..

 

thank god i'm not the only one! i was starting to think i was some kind of a compulisve freak.. but wait, maybe all this means is that we BOTH are. hmmm...

[deelove2010]

Do you really think that our EX's are feeling the way we are!

 

NC has been so hard for me to do, but I have maintained it to better myself!

 

I have joined a gym, they have devised a wrk out plan to help me get tonned and fit I have been going 3 times a week and this has truly made me feel so much better, this has given me confident and has help me get over the depression of the loss of my DAD!!!!

 

But this hasn't helped me get over the DESIRE of wanting my EX back, this help me pump those weights even more!!!!

 

I also been taking my driving lesson which I've been wanting to take for the past 9yrs and also applying for lots of jobs as I want to leave the job I'm in now because that's where me and the EX met and I don't want to be there for another 4yrs!

 

So I have been making an effort to change for me but I still can't forget about her!

[bear12]

i hope this doesn't offend you or anyone else, but in some ways i feel like a death is almost easier to deal with than a break up b/c there is obvious final closure, where in a break up there's always that glimmer of hope that they'll come back and that prevents us from fully getting over it...

 

i think- after four months of greiving- i really am starting to believe that i'll never get over him until i meet someone else... that's not to say that i don't think i can be happy alone or that i NEED a man in my life, but the truth is that like most people i eventually hope to settle down, get married, etc, and i think the lack of having someone in my life makes me miss him even more b/c i'm not just missing him, i'm missing that generic boyfriend as well, if that makes any sense.

 

we just need to hang in there. things will get better eventually. they have to!

[deelove2010]

You are right about getting of somebody's death is easier to get over because there is closure!

 

and I'm also with you on the fact that we will only get over our EX's until we meet someone else, I miss having a GF!!!

 

but than it makes me sad to think that if I need to find someone to truly get over my EX that's what my EX be doing to! Well I do have a feeling she is seeing her sister's bf brother!!!!

[Jess...]

I'm in exactly the same position! Good to know I'm not the only one