Do you find cutting helps or not, and were do u do it?

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

yeh my exams are making me really stressed and now that my aunite only has a week maybe 2 left im really depreesed and upset again, and not talking lots, which is very odd for me coz im always talking hardly stop talking!

[MotorcycleLoveR]

yeah i found it hard to quit also, but soon moved on to worse things

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

yeh its hard to quit things like that

[volkim]

I used to cut myself. It started when I was 13. It was a lame attempt to kill myself the first time. But I did notice that when I was cutting I was focused else where and not thinking about the pain inside. So was born a very long and painful love affair. I would cut myself near on everyday, sometimes 2-3 times per day. I moved from my wrist to my upper arm as this was easier to conseal. My first attempt had been at school. A teacher found me and I was made to see the school counseller twice a week. This was no help at all. I told her I did it through boredom and would never do it again. She bought it and I was free to harm again. After about 10 years of this harming with maybe a month or two here and there of stopping. I finally decided that this was no longer the way I wanted to deal with my pain. I did have a relapse about 3 years ago but I have not cut since then. And before there are any 'well dones' I have to fight with myself not to do it almost everyday. As soon as something is stressful or upsetting my arms begin to thob as though they are calling out for the pressure to be released. I doubt this will ever go away.

I believe I became addicted to it. I am sure a lot of you will understand that. You begin to need it, you think it is the only way of dealing with it. We all know that is not true and this is a very bad way of coping. But right or wrong it is a huge part of my life and without it I don't think I would be here today.

If you have just started to cut as a way of coping I would urge you to find help elsewhere asap because once you start this you are a slave to it for life.

I thought I would share my thoughts here. Be well everyone Vx

[girl friend]

Seriously though well done volkim. The urge never goes, but your fighting it makes you stronger. that really is admirable.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

i just wanted to tell u all, my aunite died at 4 am today, my world has just crumbled in front of me, i feel no urge to go on, my life has broken in two.

[Ebowski]

Cutting is an interesting subject. There are certain health issues that arise from this, but this is more of a psychological issue than a physical issue. I believe there are more than one reason people cut (Called Self-Injurious Behavior or SIB). The most common reason is due to self punishment. Another common reason is because of projection.

 

Projection is a weird ideal, and many would disagree with me about what I have to say about cutting. Most people project to others. For example, a symptom of child abuse in an 8 year old may be this 8 year old abusing a 4 year old in the exact same fashion he or she was abused. With cutting, this is a bit different. You can project onto yourself, and this can be done through cutting. For me, it is much easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain.

 

Once when I was 15, I was done terribly wrong by one girl, and I started a habit of fire branding my arms. I felt better after doing this, but now I have a nasty scar over my tricep.

 

The point of telling you that is, I still have the scar, but I cannot even think of that girl's name. I really have no clue. I do remember seeing a picture of her back when I was 20. She had gone from being curvy to being fat and nasty.

 

I think I came out on top, but I do have these scars.

[TheDoors4414]

in all honosty, when i did cut, i felt like it was releasing a small amount of emotional pain and replacing it was a great deal of physical pain... unfortunitly, this feeling only lasted about an hour, and then it was right back to being depressed. It got to the point where i started to be very reclusive, but thats beside the point, in all cutting is a waste of time and can be rather dangerous.. Oh, and i cut all over, wrists, legs chest, forearms... it was al the same, i wasnt trying to die, just substitute the pain.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

well i havnt done it for like two months now and im still going, yay me, ill get there slowly even if it takes me the rest of my life to get it out of me!

[Ttom Red]

well that's good to hear sxc_gobby say "even if it takes me the rest of my life", because after your post about your aunt dying and nobody talking about it I was sorta worried.

Cutting defiantly helps, and so does all other SI. Unfortunately it's got so many reprocautions. There's the scars that I try so hard to keep concealed on my arms and wrists, there's the fact that the only people to really understand it are other people who do it, plus it's such an addicting thing that to an extent you don't even have the right to choose if you want to do it or not, you just do it, and it'll help temporarily. I'll never comfortably take my shirt off cause of arms and chest for the rest of my life. Sometimes I just wish that SI wasn't looked down upon, because it would make it so much easier. I mean, there's still the risk of infection, but the only other negative to cutting is that it consumes me to hide it from everyone, because they think I'm either sick, or suicidal (which I'm actually not)

[perfectliljewel]

cutting helps me A LOT. it brings me to a "quiet place". it seems like the world just stops. all the yelling and nagging is silenced. i USUALLY cut down on my hips, not the best place but it's easier to hide. sometimes i do it on my arms and wrists but usually on my hips.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

thats a quite good thought that it brings you to a quite place, i know wat you mean by that!

[girl friend]

that sounds like 'hyperstress', the cutting brings you out of a constant scream of thought noise.

[perfectliljewel]

hyperstress???

[Ttom Red]

that sounds.... stressful

hah

I think I've heard that in therapy, but idk cause I don't pay attention to them

there's the one that means it calms you down, and there's the one that makes you "feel" something cuz you're numb, and I'd classify myself as the first one as well

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

hey just thought i would up date this a bit, im doing better then i was, but its getting harder then i thought, my best mate ishaving a brain op soon, one of my aunites have 2 brain tumers my family life is falling apart, i miss my aunite who i lost last year, and school is getting harder and harder and sometimes i dont think i can do it!

 

my arms are sore, wat do u lot think ??

 

x

[girl friend]

hey just thought i would up date this a bit, im doing better then i was, but its getting harder then i thought, my best mate ishaving a brain op soon, one of my aunites have 2 brain tumers my family life is falling apart, i miss my aunite who i lost last year, and school is getting harder and harder and sometimes i dont think i can do it!

 

my arms are sore, wat do u lot think ??

 

x

 

Hey dude!

 

Wow its been awhile! How the heck are you?!!?!?

 

When you say your arms are sore... do you mean what i assumed?? I hope you're doing ok hun. School is tough but you're doing so well. Just remember how clever you have shown u are, and how much you have already achieved!

 

Bereavment can do strange things, the pain does get easier, time will tell.

 

girl friend

[greeneyedfairy]

You are doing really well, and should be proud of yourself for sure, alot of people relapse you can still beat this thing, you have shown that you want to by coming to this site and that is the biggest step to this process. You are really brave for coming on here and telling us about you! ...

 

Remind yourself how good it is when you don't have to hide your arms, and you can wear what ever you want. Keep up the good work and you will overcome this.

 

Love J xx

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

hey ya be ages since i up dated u all... well it was over 6 months since i cut but kinda messed that up tonite im stressed .... i go to collage now it is nice but there is so much work.... i cut a cross in to my arm it really hurts.... i forgot how much it hurts afterwards as it had been so long.. and oddly for some reason i dont even regret it it hurts but im happy i did it i needed to 6 months of stress has just been released and it feels great... but i dont supose it will last ... i just realised i have been sh for bout 3 years now nearly 4 i didnt realise it had been that long how u are all ok missing chatting to all of u.

 

how r u girlfriend u always really helped me and i miss talking to u

 

hope to talk to u soon hope u lot reply to this.

 

xxx