abcd1234 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Hi everyone, Ive been to see a doctor about the way i have been feeling lately. See for what i have been feeling. I am 18 years old. I went to see a councellor yester day, he introduced himself as a mental health nurse. We talked for a while and i explained what i have been feeling and he agrees that i am depressed and wants me to start taking anti-depressants, a mild course for about 3 months. Specifically he wants me to take Citalopram (Cipramil) or Fluoxetine (Prozac), these are SSRI's. He has also given me a workbook to go through, which is based on cognitive behavioural therapy - it is about changing the way you think. Ive told my mum and dad about the anti-depressants. I told my mum and she rolled her eyes and said she "doesn't like pills". I think it really bothers her that her son will be on anti-depressants because it is going to make her think that she has raised me incorrectly, or failed as a parent. These worries are natural i know, but i dont know how im going to stop her feeling that way. Im also worried that she is going to somehow try to distance herself from me. She was sat up in bed last night when i walked past her room, she was unable to read her book and just sat with her head in her hands. I feel so sad that i have brought this on her, but i really need some relief from these overwhelming emotions - that is a fact that she is going to struggle to understand and come to terms with because she doesnt have them and doesnt know what it is like. My dad heard from my mum about the doctors and the anti-depressants they want to prescribe me. He asked if i wanted to talk about it. He told me that when he was my age he went through a similar phase where he had left school and didnt know what he wanted to do with his life. Apparently it lifted after about a year and a half when he found a good job that he liked. I cant cope with this for a year and a half, ive had it for a few months now, and ive had it in previous years for similar lenghts of time, and already it is unbearable. At first i didnt really go for the whole idea of having anti-depressants to lift my mood and control the emotions, but since i have started to struggle coping with these feelings my mind has changed. I want them because they will hopefully help me. I always used to look at people who said they were on anti-depressants as weak, or being unable to cope. To those people i am really really sorry, i never understood and should never have passed judgement on you. I know what it is like now and i can sympathise with others like me. The really problem is that i see no future for myself. I have not applied to uni because i dont know what i want to do - i thought my aspiration would become clear with time, but it hasnt. I also feel that when it comes time for everyone to leave for uni and the new school year, im going to be left at home on my own with no friends. Ive begun to isolate myself from them already. Im scared that when my girlfriend goes off to uni we will have to break up. Right now the only thing i really look forward to is seeing her at the weekends because she is a real pick-me-up, despite her own problems with depression and self-harm. We get along so well together and im ever so scared of losing her. I just feel that when she goes to uni and IF we have to break up....well, i will be left with nothing to look forward to. I have told her about the pills, she said before i went that she didnt want me on pills. But its not her choice and although she has her own struggles with self-harm and depression, i have not developed those coping strategies and im not as strong as her. Ill hopefully be able to get an appointment with the doctor on friday, he was not too keen on giving me pills at first and at the time i was inclined to agree with him, but hopefully now that i have seen a councellor about this he will be able to prescribe me with them. What does everyone else think of depression and anti-depressants? I would particularly like to hear from anyone who has experienced depression and been prescribed a course of anti-depressants, but all views and opinions are welcome. I would also appreciate any comments about my parents and/or girlfriend. Thanks, abc Link to comment
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