Image Towards Girls

[Boughs]

So, I've been attracted to girls, given them a nudge to see... and denied.

 

Its fine, I understand, girls these days go after the guys they like.

 

I don't think I'm unnattractive... I tend to dress... hmmm, metrosexual. I like art, I like designers, i like wearing it... as it fits my body time (small, skinny, and slightly muscular). Anywho, I wonder if that is what puts girls off... perhaps they are afraid of it... would have to compete with it, so they back off. Perhaps they think I'm gay (which is ironic because I have never enjoyed a single conversation I've had with someone who is lesbian or gay).

 

Next is that I'm very into philosophy. I tend to get into philisophical situations because, well, girls tend to say/do things that I try to understand... so I question and try and come up with why.... I don't do it in a nerdy way, i definitely understand when to pick my battles... but I just enjoy these types of convos, that I tend to scare girls away because they think I'm pretentious (which I try not to be, but I'm sure i come off that way sometimes with the way I dress, the car I drive, and perhaps sometimes when I enter these debates).

 

I wish I could be a guys guy, and you know... be more of a testosterone based guy. Instead I'm into art, fashion, and computers programming. I'm a nerd at heart...

 

I'm a very social person, always outgoing, respectful, helpful if/when i can. But it seems like I'm a bit too nice, and a bit too... metro, that the girls I'm attracted to, don't want a part of. Kind of ironic. Do I change the way I dress (just slap on jeans and a t shirt?) and talk about sports to get girls? I dunno... having such a small frame doesn't really help either, as girls tend to look at me and go "wow I'm bigger than him". Which sucks.

 

Anyways, I'm ranting. I don't know whats wrong with my image... trying to see what it is I'm doing right/wrong.

[Leonhart]

Some girls like nerds.

 

I wouldn't change who you are just to "get girls." Being yourself is more important. Selling out won't make you happy in the end.

 

Besides, (unless the girl is a sports fanatic, which not all are - thank God) then she will be bored to TEARS hearing you prattle on about sports.

 

How old are you? Where exactly are you "looking?" What type of girl are you trying to get?

 

Being small may hurt you, but some women will look past that and see the real you. Looks matter minimally for women. They care more about other stuff. Just out of curiosity, how tall are you and what do you weigh? Unless you're like 4'11" and 95 lbs, you probably have nothing to worry about.

[Locke2121]

Ok, your what I like to call the sensitive guy. Your sweet, nice, intelligent and would be a great catch for any gal out there. But your problem is, your a guy, not a man.

 

Now don't get me wrong....by that I mean that your not projecting the persona of a man. This can be a difficult thing to figure out. One of the best ways is to watch other men..and I mean successful men, as they talk to women. Watch and learn the skills they use to attract women.

 

Maybe seven out of ten times, they can be just as sensitive as you, but they cover that with a persona of manlyness. A man is confident, can make and hold eye contact with any women in th place cause he knows he has the power!

 

A man is able to remain aloof from a beautiful woman's charms. I don't care if she's a 1 or a 10, she's just a woman and a man can deal with either of them. This willpower, this ability to be so sure of himself, is very appealing to women.

 

A man DOES NOT talk about philosophy with a woman he just met! If you don't know how to talk to women, thats ok, its an aquired skill. The only thing you have to do is keep them talking. The best way to do that is have them do 99% of the talking. To do that, just ask them questions about themselves.

 

Women DO love a well-dressed man. But there is no reason you can't dress in a more manly fashion. A good suit to go out in would be a blazer that fits your frame, that drops enough to just cover the butt. A nice shirt or thin turtle-neck that doesn't hug you like a second skin, but hints at the muscles underneath. A nice set of blue jeans, ask the lady at the store to help you find some that fit your frame...remember those words, fit your frame. There is a right and a wrong way to wear jeans. Most men yank them up to their armpits...bad idea. Since your short, you want to accentuate your frame..pull them up just about an inch above your actual waist. This makes your legs look longeer. And finall, a REALLY nice pair of shoes...you know women and shoes.

 

 

 

Ok, now we move on to attitude as it pertains to interacting with people. Nice and respectful? Stop it! Well, modify it a bit. When your talking to women, nice and respectful is ok, but they want a bit more than that. Be funny, but in a slightly non-respectful way. There is a guy called David DeAngelo. I disagree with alot of what he talks about, but when it comes to talking with women, he is dead on.

 

Its called being cocky and funny and is an important part in the skill of flirting. Your jokes and interactions can actually seem a bit rude at first, but when a woman examines them, they are actually flirting and interesting...here is an example: This is one from DD himself about how to talk to a woman in a cocky and funny way.

 

Next time you're at the grocery store in the checkout line paying for your groceries, say:

 

"So how much of this cash do you get to keep?" (as you hand her the money)

 

She'll probably laugh and say: "None... I wish."

 

To which you can respond with:

 

"Oh, I figured you were pocketing 10 or 20%... I assumed you were rich and could support me, but now I'm not interested... I want a rich girl."

 

(Turn up your nose)

 

This is a great one. It's always fun to ask a woman if she's rich or famous, then when she says that she's not, tell her that it messed up her chances with you, and that you're not interested anymore.

 

See? While at first glance it seems rude...your body language must transmit that its a joke...and nine times out of ten, she'll laugh her butt off. And thats the time you casually ask her if she's doing anything this weekend.

 

 

*sigh* I wish I could keep going, but I like I said, I can't make you a better dater over the net...did you notice that I kept using the word skills? These are inborn traits that each man unlocks. They are skills that have to be learned. Read books, watch other men, ASK THEM FOR HELP! Many guys are perfectly ok with helping a guy down on his luck improve his image and style.

 

You can PM me if you want more..like I said, we guys gotta stick together.

[Locke2121]

OH! And about the size? Forget it. The first thing a woman is attracted to is personality. I'm not lying, ask women, or better yet look around at some of the drop-dead beautiful women dating rather plain or even dog-ugly men! And I'm a bit of whoofer so don't get mad guys! And if it still bothers you, look for ladies about your size to flirt with..problem solved.

[Leonhart]

OH! And about the size? Forget it. The first thing a woman is attracted to is personality. I'm not lying, ask women, or better yet look around at some of the drop-dead beautiful women dating rather plain or even dog-ugly men! And I'm a bit of whoofer so don't get mad guys! And if it still bothers you, look for ladies about your size to flirt with..problem solved.

 

You're absolutely right. Women don't care about looks, at all hardly. It's almost as though they were blind, especially in contrast to us men. We place SUCH focus and emphasis on the temporary, while they look so much deeper. It's quite sad, really. But I'm just as guilty as the next for valuing the curve of a hip over the fire of a heart. But such is life.

 

Nevertheless, to illustrate Locke's point, it is so true. I am often given compliments for my looks, dare I say, I think I'm pretty good looking. HOWEVER. This means nothing with women (unless, per chance, every compliment I hear is a complete lie. But I'll give people the benefit of the doubt... I guess.) Women want personality, charm, wit, romance, fun, excitement, adventure, exhiliration and devotion. The package it comes in, unless in the eyes of the most immature of women (yes, I openly admit men are more immature in this regard than women), is irrelevant.

[ghost69]

women do like a guy that takes care of themselves. some women like the rugged don't care about their look guys. some women like the sensitive guys and some women like the yeah whatever guys. it's situation and all relative to meeting the right people. don't worry about it.

[Boughs]

I'm 20 years old, 5'8'', 130lbs (when i put on weight, which is nearly impossible, i gain it straight in my stomach... nothing else adds). I always go for girls around 5'2''-5'7''... any shorter or taller I find unnattractive (i'm pretty picky when it comes to girls).

 

The thing is, I understand everything you all said.

 

Its not like I don't have the ability to get a girl, as I know this one girl likes me... i just don't find her attractive enough. Its the fact that I can't seem to get some girls that bothers me. Not that they are always more attractive, I just don't like them i guess.

 

Referring to your post Locke (which is incredible thank you so much, likewise to you willhelm) about having the necessary "skills". I do have these here and there... my previous two relationships of over a year each, I was pursued. Both women beautiful, funny... etc, awesome. I'm attracted to a girl that is more forthcoming... as I can be when it comes to certain topics/situations. But I tend to back down a lot when a girl is overly powering... which then kills my creativity.

 

So while I'm looking to date someone, I haven't found a girl that i find pretty enough (oh being shallow...) and has a good personality to spend my time with.

 

Girls seem to adapt so much that, you never REALLY learn their personality until you 1 on 1 with them. I never have a problem talking to women, I talk to everyone... its easy... and I know that if I were a clerk I'd love to talk to everyone that came through... speed up my day. So the conversation you posted is awesome, i'll use that for next time, but for that rich girl part.... eep... I get asked "are you rich" a lot by girls, and I of course deny it... because I don't want a girl to go after my money (I hate money). I find it rude... ENTIRELY when a girl asks me that. Perhaps it would be ok since I am wealthy to someone else... but... I don't know for sure.

 

I suppose I'm not a " * * * *" enough... I need to up the anty.

 

Anyways, I really appreciate your responses.. I'd love to hear some more.

[Locke2121]

Dude.....picky? Let me ask you something. Do you want a tropy, or someone whom you could spend the rest of your life with?

 

I wouldn't care if I found someone 1000 pounds with a face like a Mack truck, or some Amazon three feet taller than I am...if the love is there, thats all a person really needs.

[ghost69]

i have an idea of what a perfect woman is. externally it includes nice eyes, cute nose, in shape, blah blah. a lot of features the normal man would consider hot. anyways, i usually don't go for a girl that has them all. if one or two of those criteria are met or i just dig her style, i will go up and talk to her. but if the personality isn't there, no further for me. personality ends up being number 1. i use number 2 to get to 1 though. i can't look at a woman and think, dam, i bet she can talk about trucks or something for hours. lol. nobody can tell that.

[Locke2121]

Right..its whats on the inside, not the outside.

[ghost69]

don't get me wrong. there has to be some somewhat nice looking facade. i'm all about shapes too. and no i don't need the whole fake tatas and smoking model type girl. just works out, in shape or very close to be in shape usually works for me.