I screwed up and just should have listened to people on here

[darkpumpkin]

A warning to all. Listen to the advice given here!

 

This morning I asked if I should ask my ex to just take a break and everyone here said I shouldn't have. Well bad me I did and he said yes we will see what happens in 3 weeks. Truth of the fact I sounded absoulutly pathtic and horrible and he bascially just told me what I wanted to hear. So ya. To conclucde this horrible admission I am now stuck walking away (which I plan to do right now I might add) with him thinking I was this pathtic being waiting for his phone call in 3 weeks. Oh well you can't change what you have chosen to do. I don't feel any better asking this from him and I know he doesn't really want to give it so really I should have just kept my damn hands off the keyboard. What I want to know is that yes I have done the stupidest saddest pathtic thing....

[Thunderforce]

Yes it may'be suck right now ... but we have been there all! I've been in that place a few times and wished I could just disappear from the earth of shame ... and now well it's just a vague memory I can laugh about. One day you will do the same. You will be okay ... some day! Try to look in front of you, the world is smiling. Don't look back!

[terk2021]

First off, you do not sound like someone pathetic. You sound like a caring person that is in love, and does not want your relationship to end. Some, if not most of us out here have been there. The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up for your actions. Much of the advice that comes from this board come from peoples experiences. In reality, when you are in that situation, your heart has more control over you than your mind. So, don't beat yourself up. You are human, and you have feelings.

 

My ex knew exactly how to pull my strings. I am not sure where she found the manual on me, but she did. After our big breakup, she came back twice. Why? Because she knew she could. She left after each time, and asked for the dreaded "space" word.

 

There are mixed opinions on "space" on this board. To me, space = it's over for now. If they come back, it's a new start and issues need to be resolved from there. The other part that's tough is worrying about what he thinks. Right now, it does not matter.

 

There are so many opinions out here on how to handle situations. Some people out there have been through so much heartache from relationships, or family and growing up, that they become jaded individuals. They learn how to bury feelings and have a "so what" attitude if relationship

 

Smart ex's know how to pull strings. They know how to get you back when they want, and leave when they want. The key is, don't let them do it.

 

Why do I say this, because my ex walked all over me. She knew how to do it very well. It's been 8 months, and I have very limited contact with her, but each time I do, I still get down. Some ex's have power over us until our heads can catch up to our hearts and tell it no.

 

We learn from these experiences. Every person is built different, and there are no steadfast rules on how all of this works. If there is to be "space" and "time" to figure things out, I would try and consider this book shut. That does not mean that down the road your ex may not come back.

 

Last but not least, if he thinks you are pathetic, he does not deserve you. It really hurts when someone puts that label on you, or you feel that they feel that way. That just means to me that he never knew who you were, or you are just finally seeing what type of person your ex truly is. You are not pathetic, and you deserve to be happy. It sounds like he is not making you happy. I have been going through something very similar, and now 8 months later, the pieces are starting to come together, and I am realizing who she was for her actions, not the 1st year of our relationship.

 

Close this chapter and move on as best as possible.

[chigal28]

I know this might not be what you want to hear right now, but I think you should trust yourself. You did what you felt was right, and I KNOW how easy it is to second-guess yourself...but if you didn't feel like it was the right thing to do for yourself, you wouldn't have done it.

 

Now...you have three weeks to figure out what YOU want. I know the temptation will be to wonder what he's thinking, what he's up to, what he'll decide, etc. But remember that this time is as much about YOU as it is about him. What do YOU want from a relationship? Can he offer you what you want? Is it a healthy situation? If not, are there issues that are fixable?

 

Good luck--and hugs to you.

[chigal28]

P.S. You are NOT pathetic. Far, far from that. You are doing what you can to fight for something you believe in, and have enough love for yourself to want to step back and assess the situation. I think that shows real strength and courage.

[MushroomGod]

Yeah no big deal. You wanted a break right? Now you are doing the right thing and going about it as if it's over. I made the mistake of not walking away when my ex and I were on a "break." You have to take it that things are over.

 

If things work itself out and you guys get back together, awesome. If not you're already on a path to get over it.

[trash mail]

live, experience and learn.

Not a bad thing at all