Does it Ever get better?

[Strictly4MyGrind]

I dont see any light at the end of the tunnel.

 

They say it you love something let it go and it comes back to you its yours..... I let her go, she came back and then she went away again.

 

If she comes back this time i do not think my heart could take it, i know i wouldnt take her.

 

But its like i want to sort it out now before its too late, when im over her, ill be over her for good. it hurts.

 

You will all be screaming NO CONTACT!. Try that when the girl you love if your next door neighbour, goes to same college as you, oh i forgot is in ALL your classes, did i mention i am designated to sit near her?

 

NC is kind of hard, but i try. I just want the pain to stop, my head hurts, my stomach hurts and most of all my heart aches.

 

Broken, once, twice and then thrice by the same girl. Very messy break up. She basically says she hates me.

 

im in no contact, how long does it take before i can eat and sleep properly?

 

how long before my sanity returns? how long before the blood stops leaking from my heart? how long before my heart stichtes its self together and i continue on my journey in life?

[Wandering_Sword]

I feel for your pain bro. There's really not much you can do when you are interacting with her that much. Only thing is to try to keep it strictly business when you are around her and when you have days off, go someplace far away. Even if its a day off choose a direction go towards it for a couple of hours. It helped me immensely.

As for the duration of the agony you're going through, it all depends. But with your ex so close by it will take some will power and determination. Rest assured, there is light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better eventhough they look bleak. Keep strong and we're all here for you.

[friscodj]

Hey Strict-

 

First of all, I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation. I know it seems monumentally hopeless right now but not only can it get better, it will get better and will it ever.

 

A lot of it happens on its own, in time. You expedite and make the process relatively easier by removing yourself and your mindset from this attachment that no longer exists.

 

And what people refer to around here as "NC" is merely a surface-level means to that end, a mental tool (perhaps a sledgehammer), and not some medically prescribed panacea that if you miss a dose you are "set back". That is a ridiculous and counter-productive way of thinking of this. The natural human tendency and that generated by grief tells you to "stay", makes illusions of hope in your mind, so the way to balance this out is go to the other extreme. Use your head, be sensible about it, but if you can't use your head, you are too emotionally absorbed by the situation, experience has shown me it is better to err on the side of more distance.

 

All of the concerns you have will happen in time. You will have good days and bad days, but the overall trend will be better with time I guarantee it. In the meantime, keep your mind busy with productive endeavors, immerse yourself in work, hobbies, passions in your life. Live life again and see that you really don't need this woman and are better off without someone who doesn't want to be with you.

 

Also, I would like to meet the "they", as in "they say if you love something let it go and it comes back to you its yours". Whoever said this is living in some fantasy world and is a moron. First of all, I've never seen this come to fruition in my life and secondly this statement insinuates a sense of ownership with another person and with love and a finality that "OK, they're back, it's yours, case closed" that is completely ridiculous.

[Strictly4MyGrind]

Thanks very much for your reply.

 

I am hoping that i soon see that light, all this being so close yet not being able to touch or anything is killing me.

 

Wish love was without pain, but it seems like there is only pain with love.

[Daddy Bear]

An attachment as strong as yours with such a long history isn't going anywhere overnight. Give yourself a break and set a goal of a year to get back to how you were before you fell for her. That doesn't mean that you won't start to feel much better soon... it means STOP RUSHING IT!

[Strictly4MyGrind]

I think ill just take 1 day at a time for now. i hope it works. i hope that light from that tunnel shows up one day.

[Daddy Bear]

It will. Given enough time, it invariably does... and I wouldn't say that if I hadn't been where you are.

[Strictly4MyGrind]

Ill take your word for it then that its going to get better.

 

I guess ill learn from this experience. i hope something good comes out of this bad.

 

thankyou all for your replies. dont know what id do without ENA and its members!

[Pegasus]

Also, I would like to meet the "they", as in "they say if you love something let it go and it comes back to you its yours". Whoever said this is living in some fantasy world and is a moron. First of all, I've never seen this come to fruition in my life and secondly this statement insinuates a sense of ownership with another person and with love and a finality that "OK, they're back, it's yours, case closed" that is completely ridiculous.

 

And again to the core - friscodj, this is great. I wondered about the same thing million times but never actually verbalized it like that. You rock

[Daddy Bear]

There are a thousand different versions of that saying, but I never actually heard that one before. My favorite goes: "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back... well, I'll be damned."

[This is Horrible]

i hope it gets better.

 

my ex broke up 2 months ago, and although i am really far from over this....some of the days lately have been so agonozing, it has gotten better in that time.

 

first 2 weeks i couldnt eat anything, couldnt sleep, couldnt drive my car and couldnt go to work because i was crying and upset the whole time.

 

at this point i am back at work. i am eating a lot, sleeping still is not that great (but i never slept well) and i still cry about it, but only once in a while now, rather than crying for the whole day at the beginning.

 

 

Strictly4-- i cant emphasize how important it is to maintain NC. i know it is hard, especially in the beginning, but you have to buckle down and do it. i have seen this analogy on here before...it is like an alcoholic trying to stop drinking- they cant even have a sip of alcohol or it all goes to crap....well your ex is alcohol to you. you must eliminate all contact from your life.

 

i broke NC last week and she was mean to me when we started talking and it set me back a lot.

 

maybe that is the reminder i needed that contacting her will just set me back, because now i am going total no contact- no myspace, blocked her on AIM, no facebook. i must totally remove her from my life totally.

 

and it still sucks so much for me now, but i think when all the dust settles that i will be a better person from this, but i have to work for it. i know that things wont change if i sit on my butt and feel sorry for myself. i know it is important to go to the gym, keep busy, do a good job at work.....if it is bothering me so much and i want to contact her, i write her an email, but i dont send it to her- i just send it to myself.

 

hang in there and you will be okay. i know it does not seem like it now, but the fog will be lifted and you will get back into the swing of things.