feel like the whole world is against me..

[audreypoulain]

Well I was backstabbed by some friends at work. I never knew that people I thought I could talk to and be friendly and sometimes talk my life to would stab me in the back and cost me my job. I was placed on suspension with pay from work but I feel this shouldn't have happened to me. People at work made false allegations agaisnt me that I was not helping them out and that I was listening to music and not doing my job. I was on a lunch break! i can do what I want, but yet they went to Human Resources and file complaints about me. I feel extremely hurt about the backstabbing supposed friends did to me that it makes me see the whole world as one big joke. I feel like whats the point in trying to make new friends or seek new things when there is so much hate, jealousy, backstabbing going on, its really impossible to trust someone in today's world. I feel that if I commit suicide I dont have to deal with this anymore and not have to endure being stabbed like Julius Ceasar or crucified by Jesus by people who are supposed friends. What kind of life can I live after this traumatic experience? I'll always live in fear about trusting people and will end up isolated from the world, this trauma has made me scared of the world and of starting all over in a new job. Why continue living? our life is about MONEY..and thats why we go to school for better job, we try to have this money to have someone to love us by taking them out for movies, etc.

I have been considering dying by driving my car at 140mph around 2am early hours and hitting a guardrail on the highway with no seatbelt...but I just can't seem to release the belt...if I wasn't afraid of pain I would so kill myself right now. Life really isn't worth living if you can't trust anyone or to be backstabbed...

[mintblossom]

hey there.......i've been backstabbed too. i was just thinking about it a moment ago and feeling so down and dejected. about a year ago, i went out on one or two dates with a guy.....then his friend asked me to hang out......and i went. (i was totally open, upfront, honest about it and i could tell both of them did not care when i told them). but LATER they set me up, turned it around on me, yelled at me, guilt tripped me, and i became a hysterical, crying mess. i was so confused, hurt, angry, baffled......i mean, both of them PRETENDED to like me, PRETENDED they had my back, PRETENDED to be friendly like they had my back...and then turned around and totally knifed me. it HURT. it still HURTS. it's been more than a year and im still pretty horrified and disgusted.

 

you can tell right? because i still remember it so well. one of them dumped me RIGHT after sex. i wasn't asking for a commitment or even a relationship but to dump someone a few minutes after sex? that was so cold and despicable and disgusting.....he knew i was an honest, honorable, relationship type person too. he knew i didn't like casual sex but he played the game for a few months to get what he wanted. he totally flipped faces in 30 seconds flat. then he said that we should be "friends" because im such a nice girl. how could i ever be "FRIENDS" with such a person?

 

the point is....a lot of us get backstabbed. i know it's absolutely horrible, but there are people out there you can trust......you just can't trust everyone. i should mention they both did this to me after knowing that i was recovering from an abusive relationship and that i was lonely and isolated and had no friends or acquaintances. seriously! some people are sick!

 

you can't turn their sickness inward.....it's their sickness, not yours. i've also been backstabbed by a former "best friend" who did not invite me to her sixteenth birthday party and told me she wasn't having one. and also when she manipulated me into going out with her exboyfriend. gross!!

 

i have felt what you felt before.....don't give up on life because of a couple losers.....i know what they did is awful but......those type of people are not worth it. more than anything.....i think people who would do that are just TRASH.

 

your co-workers sound awful. (the two guys that did that to me used to be my co-workers too.) (i actually think one of them was the guy that FIRED me, even though to my face he told me he STOOD UP for me. but after i was fired, i found a better job).

 

i don't know if im comforting at all.......but i want you to know not everyone is like that. i would NEVER treat another person that way, and i know there are good, caring people in the world who truly value friendship. inbetween the rotten eggs....there are good eggs......good people just take time to find. i'm still searching for good and genuine friendships myself.

 

i've had the feeling like the whole world is against me too. like i just don't fit in, nobody loves me or cares, and everyone is teaming up against me. BUT i have found a good therapist who is actually comforting and calm and reassuring. it helps to even meet one good person. i keep looking and looking myself....

 

 

*HUGS* feel better......please call a crisis hotline if you need to. it's NOT your fault.

[Daddy Bear]

You want to off yourself because you're having problems at work? Ain't that just a tad bit, pardon the expression, overkill?

 

Man, how I envy the people who have that luxurious option. Me, I have family and friends who count on me now and then for support and whose lives I'm hesitant to destroy, so I'm stuck dealing with the problems I have - and I WISH they were as simple as needing to switch jobs!

[Psylocke]

If it's any comfort I had a nice backstabbing at work yesterday from a fellow co-worker who seems to think her work is more important than my 2 foot pile of paperwork. I was quite upset and still am this morning. To make matters worse my supervisor came to correct me, abiet loudly I might add, in my cubicle so others could hear her. Not only that but she went and told nearly the same thing to my partner who works along side of me. She had absolutely nothing to do with the situation.

 

I've learned a long time ago to never share anything real personal with co-workers and that 'most' aren't really your friends but there to get ahead in their jobs. That extra quarter or 50 cent raise because the boss thinks they are pristine workers means a lot to people.

 

My way of thinking is that these people are jealous of you (me). Why else would they want to cause problems and hurt you? Unless you are clearly breaking policy rules or not doing your job they have nothing better to do but to bully who they think is the weakest link (bad pun I know).

[Bethany]

You want to off yourself because you're having problems at work? Ain't that just a tad bit, pardon the expression, overkill?

 

Man, how I envy the people who have that luxurious option. Me, I have family and friends who count on me now and then for support and whose lives I'm hesitant to destroy, so I'm stuck dealing with the problems I have - and I WISH they were as simple as needing to switch jobs!

 

I find it absolutely disgraceful that someone who has no understanding what it is like to be bullied at work can even comment or belittle someone else's pyschological injury in the way. By you saying that, you are being as bad as the bullies in her workplace. Shame on you.

 

And although I do agree with walking away with your head held high can be the right thing to do for some ...Why the hell should someone have to switch jobs? People have a right to dignity at work and need support when that dignity is being effected. *I* only WISH people would understand that people can and do commit suicide because of this constant nitpicking, isolating, manipulative, insulting, intimidating, humilating, belitttling behaviour which very often they are not even aware of until they find themslves, their mental health, their self esteem and their dignity DESTROYED by it.

 

I suggest the OP read throug all these sites and get some understanding of what is happening to her and why. link removed , link removed. There are also other sites I could point you to, if you need more help ok. Just message me or to go any online union or bullying site for more info, support and advice which seeing as you are posting on Suicide you very much need.

[audreypoulain]

Thanks for your words and advice Teardrops, Bethany, Psychlocke. Your experiences Teardrops have helped me see that I am not alone in what I feel.

 

Somebloke who is a guy just doesnt understand how it is to be bullied at work by a bunch of men. Sorry to leave some information out but I am the only woman that works at night from 5-5am with a bunch of men who sometimes would want to ask me out or would bullied me a lot. It was a bunch of men who allied themselves and reported to Human Resources against me! and I thought some of these guys were my friends. The backstabbing from these men has made me feel weak and to feel depressed about it, I couldn't stop crying the other night and I was driving home wanting to end it all because I couldn't get passed the fact that is something wrong with me? what did I do to deserve this? its like the world against me. I am trying to understand this but I feel that at 26 yrs old I dont know if I could handle moving forward to a new job with feelings of not trusting anyone in the world. I guess I can understand how people alll of a sudden drop and disappear from their life or walk away and start a new life or just become hermits living in some cave somewhere or worse think of suicide to end all misery.

[Daddy Bear]

Bethany, I don't believe that your rant is going to get my vote for 'enlightened post of the day'. It was tactically remiss and extremely counterproductive for you to suggest that the points I made to audreypoulain rendered me "as bad as the bullies in her workplace". In her sensitive state it's little wonder that she bought into that, even though nothing could be further from the truth. For her sake, then, I'll take the time to expound on my observations.

 

Let me start by relating my first-hand experience with bullying. When I was not quite four years old my parents moved us from Baltimore to a neighborhood in Minnesota that was filled with older children. For reasons that I still can only guess at decades later, they ALL decided that I would make a good target for harassment even though I had done nothing against a single one of them. Most of my early memories involve them pushing me down, chanting insults, pelting me en masse with stones and acorns, putting bugs in my mouth and whatever other tortures they could find to delight in. As the smallest kid on the block, and without one single friend to defend me, I was at their mercy. These things happened on a more or less daily basis until I started school over a year later. Even then there were one or two who remained in the habit of chasing me down and beating me up every time we crossed paths. My older brother also took it upon himself to "toughen me up", as he later put it, by doing mean and nasty things to me for years. Don't you dare tell me I can't sympathize with someone who is being picked on!

 

You also made the factually incorrect pronouncement that I don't know what it's like to be picked on at work. Ha, I wish that was true! In the many jobs I've held over the years I've had not one but TWO direct supervisors who made it their mission to turn the entire workplace against me. I was shunned, given extra work with unrealistic deadlines, blamed for others' mistakes and criticized for the slighest imperfection in my work until I couldn't take it anymore. Was I distraught like audrey? of course; it's only natural in a situation like that. Did I KILL MYSELF? Obviously not. I hung on until I was eventually fired for trumped-up reasons, and then I got other jobs. I never said, by the way, that fighting her harassers was a bad idea and that audrey HAD to switch jobs. I was pointing that out as a worst-case scenario, and one compared to which suicide is an irrational and unreasonable solution.

 

audreypoulain, I hope that you do find justice and satisfaction at the end of your current ordeal. Sadly, such things are not guaranteed us in life. Fight on and defend yourself to the best of your ability, but never forget that there are less drastic and tragic options available to you besides suicide if things don't work out at your current job. If you end your life over this, I'm sure that there will be many people who will be terribly and intractably injured by it, and your tormentors will have won a decisive and permanent victory. They won't care, they won't learn from it; they'll ignorantly justify what they've done by saying you were crazy. Don't let that happen, my friend. You are not crazy, you're only committing the error of pondering turning your anger and frustration upon yourself. You deserve happiness--not a death sentence.

 

I'm sorry that you misunderstood the intention of my previous post. I wish you the very best. Please keep us updated on the progress of your story.

[dil]

When I used to feel horrible about being bullied, I usually turned to my parents or friends for support. A * * * *ty day at work? No problem, just live for the weekend! Go out and have fun with friends, it's very therapeutic. If switching jobs is an option, try it, I doubt every workplace is filled with nasty vultures. Maybe find a workplace with a more balanced sex ratio (men/women).

[mintblossom]

audreypoulain, i am sad to hear that you had to go through such a terrible experience. that must really hurt you....but people like that are just not worth it. i don't understand why they do what they do.....what is in their hearts, minds to do that to another human being? but...it's better to think about what you can do for yourself to get away from those people.

 

i spent a month or two working at my last job before i got fired. it was a company where there was a bunch of men and very few girls. when i first went to work there, i was excited, i thought i might find some friends among all the young people. i wanted to be happy. however, the men either wanted to sleep with me, or wanted me to talk about sexual things like porn, my sex life...stuff like that. i was so uncomfortable. the girls there....banded together to spread rumors about me!!

 

i mean, there was one girl i totally hated because she was fake and she turned her friends against me (even though i didn't even have anything against them!) i never did anything to them, never even talked about them but they spread gossip that i was sleeping around...that i was a * * * *, etc. etc. it didn't hurt so much because i knew the truth but i was really disgusted by their behavior.

 

i think a bunch of them banded together and i was fired. the supervisor himself came out and told me to get off the property or he would call the police!! (i had turned him down before) i felt very humiliated and disgusted but also relief.....getting fired was the best thing that happened for me!!

 

a few months later i got a new job....my own office, computer, desk, better pay, nicer co-workers, a good work environment!!! they did me a favor by firing me because i ended up at a waaaaay better place and i have been there ever since.

 

so....i know how it's like to feel the whole world is against you but.....don't forget there are caring, kind, sincere people out there!! sometimes all we can do is...dust ourselves off....get back on our feet and keep being good to ourselves.

 

i know it's really hard though.....sometimes i feel haunted by that place. it was just....unbelievable. sometimes it really better to leave a toxic workplace. i had a hard time leaving because i wanted the pay but getting out of such an environment is something i have never regretted. i thank god everyday that i was kicked out.