So goes the dream...

[mintblossom]

Oh how quickly the dream became a nightmare. How something i thought could be so great quickly turned empty and hollow. Not just that, it quickly became painful, strung out. I hurt so much over the dream, my hopes, my expectations, my dreams all shattered and broken. But I could not/did not want to admit that I was wrong about you. I did not want to believe that someone I thought was a "open, honest, sincere, good" person was actually "closed, dishonest, and genuinely bad but with a big blabbermouth." Quickly you showed your true colors - cruelty, meanness, dishonesty, habitual lying, manipulation, guilt, blame. It tripped me up, I fell. Whereas once I thought about falling for you, sharing happy experiences....accusations, blame, anger, abuse hurled at me. I cried. I was so upset. This spiraled out of my control. Both of you.....enjoyed the games. Didn't even treat me like a decent being. It was painful to me, to feel. The worst part is that I cared but both of you never did. Yet, choose to gang up on me. I think that's very sick and cruel. I wonder if both of you have some personality disorders or mental problems. Either way, it's sick to me. I feel very ill, emotionally, mentally, physically. I feel disgusted, I feel fear, I feel shock and horror. Both of you are abusive. It's creepy. I didn't listen to the warnings but I'm listening now. I have to protect myself from creeps.

 

I will not give my dreams to you or share my dreams with you anymore. In fact, I am preparing my heart. I want nothing to do with either of you, I do not want fake "friendships." Both of you are worthless to me. There is nothing to be gained there. There is nothing but pain and horror there. I'm done with both of you. I just want to be free. Free at last!!!! FREEEE AT LAST!!! GOD ALMIGHTY I AM FREE AT LAST!!

 

(Also, the cute security guard at the gate who smiled at me this morning...that made me feel better).

[robowarrior]

As Jesus said ' there are many wolves in sheepsclothes ' , a lot of people wear masks to cover up their nastyness. You need to be like a castle gate, close yourself to bad people/things/events and only open up to good people, and before you let anyone in let the security guards do a check on them. This because if you let the enemy in, it will only reduce your castle to ruins, it would be better to be engaged for at least 3 years before getting married, it would let you get to know the guy before you fall in a possible trap.