dumped 1 week ago

[tonyL]

hi there, firstly im so glad i found this site! its really great, been lurking and reading stories for the last few days. now i feel the need to tell mine.

 

My girlfriend of 3 years told me last weekend she wanted a break after an agruement. I protested at this (quite childishly i suppose) , but then said ok thinking a couple of weeks not seeing much of each other might be good for us.

 

then a few days later she told me she wanted to break up, she said the relationship had gone stale and she wanted out and that we should just be friends now. this was pretty horrible for me, i put a brave face on not wanting to create a scene.

 

anyway ive seen her a few times like normal i supose and ive been trying to be nice and cheerful and show her im a great person (so she might reconsider) which is nice when im with her , but when she goes and its a time i would have been seeing her i feel really sad.

 

Also i believe she is starting to see someone elese. ive asked her and pleaded to tell me if she is , she says shes not, but is going round a guys house i never heard of before every night! I really shouldnt even ask her this stuff as i cant bare the thought of her getting with a new guy and feeling so powerless to get her to see me like that again. its only been a week and i think about her all day planning when to call without looking too sad to her, and sometimes i just start crying out of nowhere like just now when i was cooking. I feel really lonely now and all i can see ahead is pain if she hooks up with another guy

[andyg]

Chances are pretty good that she is with this guy and she had interest before she broke up with you. Alot of people won't leave a relationship until lining up their next one... They'll never admit to it though. I few months down the road if the novelty of the new guy hasn't worn off yet you'll find out from her or someone else that they are together. She just doesn't want to look bad for leaving you for someone else. If you really want to know for sure, see if she'll give into some post break up booty calls... It's been my experience that most girls will go along if they aren't with someone else.

[heloladies21]

Well my man, gotta realize that any kind of hanging around waiting for her to make up her mind while pretending to be friends doesn't work to get back your ex. It's been proven 100% ineffective, the only thing it leads to is false hope, wasted time, and a worse broken heart in the end when she drops you for good.

 

So best thing you could do is to reject the friendship and only accept a relationship. If you're not strong enough to do thatnow, just cut all communication going either way for some time till you can regain control of your emotions again. Then you can deal with the situation later on, but you're not getting anywhere in your current condition.

[friscodj]

Welcome to ENA tonyL, great to have to here...

 

Yeah, there is something else going on that has been going on for a while. Relationships don't end "out of the blue", there was likely something going on that you didn't know about.

 

At any rate, she is gone I have no doubt about that. If she "comes back" it will likely be to use you for comfort.

 

If you have to learn this the hard way here, by fighting the lost cause of trying to be "nice" and "cheerful" to her to show her what a good guy you are in hopes of getting her "back", there's no shame in that. If you can avoid that and get the hell out of the situation without getting hurt like this, that would be the better option.

 

In short, this thing is 100% done and has been in her mind for a while, I have no doubt about that. The argument was a nice convenient excuse for her to end things and I am pretty sure your suspicions are correct about her seeing someone else.

 

She is gone, she is not your girlfriend anymore, and you don't owe each other anything. It is best to disappear completely for a while in a situation like this. You can resist this notion, fight it, put on your happy faces with the smiles and BS but eventually, the tension, pain, and frustration will build and you'll go this route anyway.

 

I'm sorry bro, keep coming back here and we'll help you through this.

[BoarHog]

hey man,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I know how heartbreaking it is to find out, or even to think about your ex with someone else. You have to accept that if she really is interested in someone else, there is nothing you can do to change that. I think you have no choice but to break off contact so you can begin to heal. Personally I prefer not to know at all - and I ask my ex not to tell me when she starts seeing someone else.

[tonyL]

hi thanks for the welcome. Now , im not entirely convinced she is with someone else, at least not someone special because she been coming round quite alot and i would have thought i would have discoverd something in that time. I know she prob has alot of guys after her as she is very beautiful. im not sure is i can tell her i dont want to see her yet, that would be very painful , . ideally id like to still see her but come accross as strong and indepedent, happy and getting on with my life. but thats not true , and i keep coming accross as needy around her. How do you learn to switch that off?

[LostLoveinLosAngeles]

hi thanks for the welcome. Now , im not entirely convinced she is with someone else, at least not someone special because she been coming round quite alot and i would have thought i would have discoverd something in that time. I know she prob has alot of guys after her as she is very beautiful. im not sure is i can tell her i dont want to see her yet, that would be very painful , . ideally id like to still see her but come accross as strong and indepedent, happy and getting on with my life. but thats not true , and i keep coming accross as needy around her. How do you learn to switch that off?

 

Time heals all wounds my friend. Time well bring your relationship back or help you move on. When you get it back time will help you fix. All you have to do is take time.