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Who knew I'd feel THIS good!


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Wow,

If you read nothing but this sentence that's fine GET BETTER!! GIVE IT TIME!![/b]

 

If you read any of my posts I broke up with my ex in October, left the house in December and was devastated when he had a new girlfirend in 5 days.

 

Time does help. I've had a LOT of ups and downs but I feel so, so good right now! I realized that I truly can't see myself EVER trusting him again. Maybe one day, maybe not. But right now, I'm not even interested in him. I am happy that he is happy (or believes he's happy.) I just realized 2 weeks ago that if I couldn't trust him, anything future with him is certain doom. I deserve better than that. I deserve affection, love, support and happiness without so much being drained from me.

 

I have been slowly dragging all the pics on the computer into the Recycle bin of him and tonight I erased everything. It felt great! Not that I don't want to remember, but I don't need the constant reminder! I didn't think I would EVER be ready to do that, but magically, tonight I was.

 

I haven't felt this happy with myself in a long, long time. I think back and it was probably when I first started dating him 3 years ago. Not to say that it was all bad but I think I sacrificed a lot of myself for him, and with that, I lost touch of myself a lot. I truly feel good. And I never thought I ever would. I thought my despair and anguish was going to be with me forever. Now I am not disillusioned to the fact that there still might be some hard stuff to deal with but for the first time in a long time I feel like I can without completely losing it. And for the first time in a long time as well I can honestly say that I don't want to be with him. And I don't know if I ever will feel that again.

 

I am happy. And I am happy with myself for being happy. It's such a good feeling! I just had to share the news. There is life after love!

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