How should I take this?

[FA18]

Has anyone experienced this? I have been in NC for almost 2 months. I don't initiate contact, but she almost always emails me after big events. Day AFTER my birthday, day AFTER valentines day. And usually, when I respond with any type of questions, she won't write back. She asks me questions, and I always answer them upbeat and friendly...yet the same questions back to her go unanswered. I want to get back together. She dumped me for another guy after a fight. Most people say that she is regrets her decision...I just dont get it. We never had a relationship like this. For 4 years, we had a fantastic time...now, we are almost like strangers.

[splashdown]

Has anyone experienced this? I have been in NC for almost 2 months. I don't initiate contact, but she almost always emails me after big events. Day AFTER my birthday, day AFTER valentines day. And usually, when I respond with any type of questions, she won't write back. She asks me questions, and I always answer them upbeat and friendly...yet the same questions back to her go unanswered. I want to get back together. She dumped me for another guy after a fight. Most people say that she is regrets her decision...I just dont get it. We never had a relationship like this. For 4 years, we had a fantastic time...now, we are almost like strangers.

 

She's keeping in touch with you to keep you on the hook, so to speak. She wants you to remember her and think of her, but she doesn't want to have to give back. Next time she gets in touch, don't respond for awhile, if ever. Let her know that you have a life, and you'll get back to her on YOUR schedule, not hers.

[Parsley]

splashdown is right - she's just making sure you're still there should she deign to come back.

 

My ex ignored my questions too - and eventually I got so angry about him doing it that I decided that if he didn't want to answer them - fine. He was giving me free reign to come to whatever conclusion I wanted, and they're hardly going to portray him in a favourable light are they?

 

I know this is going to sound like the same tired old reply, but just don't reply. Not only will you not have to wonder about why she isn't answering the questions you put to her, but (more childishly, I concede) she'll get a taste of her own medicine. It hurt me so much to be left wondering, and I can tell it has got to you too. Do this, pay more attention to my first reason, but know that my second reason will stand.

x

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i would agree with that... she seems to be keeping you 'on tap' for whenever she needs a warm fuzzy or contact or whatever, but if she is busy or not in the mood (or with her boyfriend(s)), then you don't hear from her.

 

if you think she's really trying to reconcile, then talk to her, face to face, abou that. but if she waffles and just continues this spotty contact, then i'd assume she is just using you for warm fuzzies or keeping in touch in case her current boyfriend doesn't work out.

[FA18]

It's hard to face that the girl who you shared so much with for so long is just fine with using me, now. Heartless...