music

[elithepi]

been a few months.

 

breaking out the tunes I like but were a part of that thing that happened.

 

stir it back up.

 

cleanse those associations.

 

I like my music.

[isidore]

It sucks when you associate the good music you like with the good times you had with someone. Good for you that you're listening again. I'm getting there too.

[Cyprian]

Some day...

[This is Horrible]

there were a lot of those pop hits that my ex and i liked.

 

i can not listen to those yet without getting annoyed.

 

i stick to the rap and hard rock which she never liked, but i always have.

 

additionally, it is easier to work out to that type of music for me so i just make those playlists for my ipod.

 

and in my car i listen to sports radio....yes, i am a dork LOL.

[Biffy]

Music is one of my big passions in life but as with everyone else I associate different music to different things/ people.

 

I've learned my lessons from past failed relationships though - ones which ruined albums/ artists for me for long periods... I applied that to my last relationship where I made sure that none of my favourite music could be associated with her.

 

I think I'd have to be with someone for a VERY long time before I'd "share" my favs with her.

[Orlander]

I can't really listen to music anymore. What music I can listen to is the music my ex never liked. Seems ridiculous now as it's been over a year and she's moved on and is engaged. Don't know why it's still so difficult.

 

Orlander

[This is Horrible]

I can't really listen to music anymore. What music I can listen to is the music my ex never liked. Seems ridiculous now as it's been over a year and she's moved on and is engaged. Don't know why it's still so difficult.

 

Orlander

 

the song that was our song comes plays on my ipod sometimes and i cringe when i hear it. it sucks because i like the song a lot, but i can not listen to it without getting all crazy and upset.

 

also we attended a concert and the artist we saw has many hits...i can notlisten to any songs by that artist either without getting upset.

 

i guess that music can really pour salt on wounds that havent healed yet.

[Locke2121]

Don't listen to country, its made to break the heart.

[kekep]

I'm glad I'm not the only one like this.

 

Saddest breakup song ever = "Lonely Day" by Ben Harper

 

Good stuff though.

[bitbybit]

Yeah, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one like this, too. I don't know, it took about 1 1/2 to 2 years to be able to listen to ANY music I associated with the 26 years (!) my ex and I were together -- that's a lot of music! -- but I was able to listen to pre-ex period music and sort of got into that. It made the transition back to the music I loved easier.

 

So don't worry, it will go away eventually. No reason why anyone should take music away from you.

[elithepi]

Music helps.

 

When I'm all down and out, it's good to get in the car and crank up some tunes.

 

It gets the rhythm back. I feel myself returning.

 

Then it's good to listen to those songs that make me feel sad. I feel it purges what I harbor during the day.

 

A good song is "What a Fool Believes" The Doobie Brothers

[bitbybit]

Music helps.

 

When I'm all down and out, it's good to get in the car and crank up some tunes.

 

It gets the rhythm back. I feel myself returning.

 

Then it's good to listen to those songs that make me feel sad. I feel it purges what I harbor during the day.

 

A good song is "What a Fool Believes" The Doobie Brothers

A perfect tune - you're right!

[will_ow]

We just broke up a few days ago and it feels as if every song I hear speaks to me about it. I cry whenever I listen to music now, that is if I ever stopped crying before putting it on, but it is also cathartic.

[Ladyface]

I think music is one of the toughest things to deal with post-break-up, if not THE toughest.

 

When my ex broke up with me two months ago, I didn't ever think I'd be able to listen to my favorite band (The Decemberists) again, because we bonded over them when we met, declared one of their songs "our song," and saw them perform live. About a month ago I was talking to said ex, and he mentioned "I can't listen to The Decemberists anymore." I said "Me neither!" and we started laughing. After that, I started listening to them again. For some reason, I felt empowered knowing that the music affected him in the same way it affected me.

 

Until then, I took the break-up as an opportunity to start looking for new music - music that didn't have associations with any exes. I rediscovered my love for Tori Amos and Fiona Apple. I listened to a lot of angry music, too.

 

Anyone have any music they'd suggest listening to? Not necessarily empowering music, but just GOOD music. I've been listening to the new Arcade Fire a lot recently; it's incredible...

[ColdWinterForest]

Luckily, my ex didn't even like music. She did ruin some good movies I used to enjoy, though.

[ColdWinterForest]

Another thing, music has helped me through this tremendously. I find myself listening to more and more nowadays.

[bitbybit]

I listened to a lot of angry music, too.

 

 

I thought of some good angry music that has helped with a couple of breakups -- Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know", and Foreigner's "Cold as Ice" -- great catharsis if you can yell and sing at the same time.

[Parsley]

Right after a break up, I can't listen to anything. There are so many thoughts going round in my head, it's loud enough in there already!

 

After a day or two I can listen to songs, but then happy ones make me cry, sad ones make me cry, songs about your friends make me cry...everything. But I still listen to them, because you're right, music is cathartic and have rhythm in any way seems to comfort. Maybe because it's the one thing you can predict at that time of your life?

 

There usually comes a time when I do only listen to sad songs, but they don't make me cry. Just pensive.

 

Then the "SCREW YOU!" songs come out of the woodwork. The ones that either are saying "I'm better without you" or the ones that are happy. I particularly like 'Good Luck' by Basement Jaxx for this.

 

I've been known to listen to a lot of cheese at this stage. I'm currently listen to 5.6.7.8. by Steps

 

I've nearly come out the other side. I can listen to most songs now without thinking of the ex at all. There's just one that makes me think of him now, one which I love, and am going to have to start listening to again, to break the associations.

 

I