Guys When Did It Hit You?

[DREWPYDRAWLS]

This is mainly for the guys, but girls feel free to respond.

How long after someone left before it really "hit" you and you

had regrets? I know sometimes it doesn't seem real for a little while, so how long

was it for you?

[chalero]

For me it was or is a week. I ended a three year relationship cuz he had issues and couldnt say "he wanted me". Now I feel I have lost my best friend....but is like a addiction and it will take 21 days to get over it?

[isidore]

There's definitely a stunned phase we pass through before the loss hits. For me it was about a week too.

 

Welcome both of you to ENA.

[DizzyDoris]

Same here, its been a week since things went down the pan for me and my boyfriend (ouch...ive gotta stop calling him that)

 

Im feeling really sad today and cant stop thinking about him. And yes im having a lot of regrets, im starting to think i gave up too easily on him. He made one mistake and i walked because of it instead of trying to work things out.

[DREWPYDRAWLS]

Thanks. It's only been a couple days for me so far and I feel ok. Just wondering when it's gonna hit me, because I expect it will. I hope my ex at least has some regrets too and doesn't just walk away without another thought of me

[DREWPYDRAWLS]

Thanks Isidore. Did your ex break up with you, or you her?

I guess I asked for guys opinions to get an insight on what my ex might be going through as a guy.

[lifestream]

It took about 5 months...

[Dako]

5 hours.

After that I had no doubt it was over for good.

[Parsley]

Sorry I'm not a guy - but for me it took about 5 seconds. I saw it coming a mile off...was shocked that it had finally happened, but knew that that was that and nothing was going to change.

[isidore]

Thanks Isidore. Did your ex break up with you, or you her?

I guess I asked for guys opinions to get an insight on what my ex might be going through as a guy.

 

She evaporated on my birthday. She was becoming very depressed and wouldn't or couldn't talk about it. I miss her to a greater or lesser degree every day. Some days I get angry with myself for thinking about her at all. Some days I cry because I miss her so much and feel the loss so keenly.

 

I regret often that I didn't have the ability to understand how she was feeling quicker and more frequently. It's been hard to let go completely because there's nothing horrendous to point to as a relationship killer unless I factor in her Bipolar disorder, which is hard to do sometimes.

 

Wow! I just had an attack of verbal diarrhea.

[sandyv]

No Is, its good you can be honest like you are... I have a hard time letting things out... I feel hopeless sometimes although its been almost 5 mths.. I miss him... still, foolish me, I totally understand how you feel.... Sometimes wish I could turn back the clock... and maybe I could have saved things... but no... that could never be....

[pacopaco]

This is mainly for the guys, but girls feel free to respond.

How long after someone left before it really "hit" you and you

had regrets? I know sometimes it doesn't seem real for a little while, so how long

was it for you?

 

It me like a ton of bricks to the head the instant I asked if she had slept with him. What also hit me was the fact that I did nothing wrong. Immediately, I thought "this isn't me."

[macgyver4ever]

It hasn't hit me yet.

 

He longest we have ever gone without talking in the +4 years we have known each other is 6 days. That's today. I think the next week will be hard, and when it will really hit me that she is gone forever.

 

It's her loss, but by dating other people I am just realizing all of the reasons she was so special to me.

[This is Horrible]

it hit me immediately ater she dropped the bomb on me and my life went into total chaos for about a week.

 

after the week i went to NC and it still hurt like hell but i stuck to it.

 

i broke NC about a month after the last contact and asked her for a reconciliation and she said NO.

 

there is stuff going on with me now and she does not want to be there for me, so i guess it is easier now for me to say if she isnt going to be there for me in a tough time then she isnt worth the space she is renting in my head.

 

i keep telling myself "why do i want to be with someone like that?????"...and although i do have tough days sometimes, i am getting better and my improvement has come along so much.

 

btw, this website has saved me and really helped me get my life back. thanks to all the posters on here who come and share their experiences for us.

[Steve316]

I'm not entirely sure on this one, I don't even know if it's truly hit me just yet or not? It comes and goes really.

 

I will never forget that first day though, I had to leave work straightaway, I went home, text everyone I knew, and eventually one of my mates said he wasn't working and we went out for some drinks. I remember just being in shock most of the day and it really didn't hit me that day. I think the next day it did and I would say the first 3-4 days were by far the worst. Then I got into the stage of thinking of the happy memories, feeling down, wondering what I should do. This was followed by the paranoid stage (is there someone else??) and I guess I'm not sure where I am now.

 

I have been SAYING I very much doubt she wants to get back with me, but I am secretly hoping that's not the case at the same time.

 

I just want to fast forward to about this time next year to be honest

[This is Horrible]

 

I just want to fast forward to about this time next year to be honest

 

here's the thing- i know how much it hurts, but you need this time for you to make you a better person.

 

dont wish away this next year. make the most of it, even if you dont want to.

 

i was at that point too. i sat around feeling bad, rewinding the relationship- what went wrong, what i could have done differently etc....truth is, you cant change the past. you can only change now and for the future, and thats what you should channel your energy towards, because when a year from now rolls around, and if you put the effort in, you will be very happy with the person you see in the mirror.

 

just hang in there, and make the best of a bad situation.