will he ever stop being angry?

[oops i fe11]

my boyfriend loves me very much. we are however in a long distance relationsip. we met last march and have been in love ever since, and my feelings for him haven't changed...sure i've been doubtful at times, but i've never loved him any less than i did from the beginning.

 

here's the thing. i cheated on him, on two occasions....with the same guy, whom i don't care about...and he certainly doesn't care about me...i was drunk and he knew just what to do to take advantage of the state i was in. he happens to be an ex of mine. it wasn't forced, we're both at fault, but it never would have happened if i wasn't drunk.

 

i kept it from my boyfriend for a very long time...and it finally recently came out in a conversation on the phone. he's very heartbroken, and disappointed in me. he didn't deserve this at all...he's never once even considered being unfaithful to me. he loves me too much....and now i feel so horrible.

 

but he still loves me and he wants to move past this. he forgives me...but he's still very angry. he thinks about it every day and i know it kills him...i just want to know if he'll ever stop thinking about it and stop being angry, because i plan on sharing my life with him and i don't want this situation to effect our relationship forever. do u think he'll ever completely be able to move past it? and what can i do to help him move on?

[sidehop]

It's harder since you're not there with him and gaining that trust back will take time. If you truly & unconditionally love him you wouldn't have gotten in this situation no matter what state you were in.

 

With that said you can only show him and assure him everything will be ok and you're sincerely sorry. It takes a lot for him to love you back the way he did. You have to understand it may never be the same again.

[GuitarHero]

Seriously, if you really love him, don't hang around you ex and lay off the sauce drunky. No matter how much you love him and he loves you that kind of betrayel will cripple a relationship, so don't be surprised if permanent damage hasn't already been done. One accidental drunken hookup is forgivable, but two? Is he going for sainthood or what? I don't mean to bash you, but bluntly, you screwed up, he deserves way better. Even saying all that, I hope you two make it, even if it's highly unlikely

[Rabican]

I think that if you truly loved him, you wouldnt have cheated... twice. Drunk or not.. thats not an excuse.

 

However, I think if he truly loves you.... maybe, eventually he might get over it. But I think you need to realize that he WILL be upset for a while. Hes going to be mad, upset etc.

 

Do whatever he wants you to do. IF he wants space, give him space. If he wants to talk, discuss things etc. then do that.

 

Just tell him you are sorry, and make sure you keep yourself available to him. IF he calls you, and wants to know where you are... expect that. Hes going to have a rough time trusting you for a while.

[oops i fe11]

thank you for all ur responses...i understand what i did was not right and i you're right in saying that i don't love him unconditionally or i wouldn't have done that. he knows that and yet he still loves me. trust me i won't let it happen again....and i'm going to do anything and everything to try to fix our relationship.

[sddeaston]

I would break up with you. There is nothing you can really do. Either he gets over it or he doesn't.

 

You state that you love him, and plan on spending your life with him. I wonder how those thoughts were overlooked when you were about to take your clothes off with another person? That is not love. In any way. Drunk or not.

 

I think you saying it would not happen if you were not drunk is TOTALLY an excuse, and is only justifying it only in your mind. Or at least making it more acceptable, in your mind. That does not take away from the betrayal he feels.

 

In your situation, the only thing you can do is what he says. If he chooses to move on. Accept it. This is a possibility. As for the ex, why were you hanging around him? Why do you feel it is necessary to do get drunk with him, especially with your history with him? Did you think that would make your boyfriend comfortable? Even if he said he was ok with it (assuming he knew), he still had some lingering thoughts, but being the GOOD PERSON he appears to be, he delt with it. That is caring for someone.

 

I think you are inconsiderate. Someone who lives for themselves. Selfish. Why do you deserve a good man? He certainly deserves better. His choice, though.

 

You did this twice, which is what I find so offensive about this. My opinion of you would drasticly change upon finding about one, but finding out about two, I would begin to see what you are REALLY about.

 

Unfortunately, you have done this to the relationship, and it is irreversible. I think it is going to take commitment on your part. Not commitment to the relationship, he already knows your capabilities. I mean commitment to being a better person to him, and in general.