I don't understand...or am I thinking too much?:-k

[sohigh]

Hi all,

I have recently posted my story about my ex and I (under "My first time posting here...need some advice?" posted on Feb8th). Anyway, I have been wondering a lot about the way he responded to my email because when we first broke up, he wouldn't answer my call and refused to talk to me. Even when I emailed him, it would take him a couple of days or even a week to reply. So I went NC for a little on and off but I couldnt help to spill my guts this past week and he wrote me back the next day asking me to have dinner and telling me that he hasn't forgot about me and misses me a lot. So i was very surprised that he replied with those words because he has refused to speak or see me for the past 2.5 months. The reason that we broke up is not because we don't love each other. We were dealing with a very difficult situation and leads to our fights towards the end.

 

So, do you think he MAYBE interested in coming back? Or he is just being friendly? He has been pretty confusing to me during the whole break up...so maybe some of the guys' opinions on this change of behavior towards my contact?

 

thank you so much!!!!

[Batya33]

All relationships have difficult situations. It simply depends on whether the two people believe it is worth it work on them in order to stay together. In this case I would read nothing into this unless he says "I want to get back together and work on our issues."

[celene]

Hey one thing I have realized about men is that if they like you and care about you and think that sometime maybe sometime in the future they might want you back they will stay in touch. Maybe not explicitly. If the guy doesnt want to stay in touch with you believe me he will not reply back, the fact that he used to reply back to you even after a week shows that he wants to stay in touch with you. Guys often dont reply back to women they had once dated and broken up because they dont want to come off as too enthusiastic. So yes, if he wants to have dinner with you, I think you should. But play it cool but at the same time put your cards on the table and if he says no then say hey no problem. Believe me men for some very strange reason like women who like hard to play!! So play your game well!!!

[Mavis VDSande]

I think you should meet him but play it very cool. Don't reveal too much and really let him feel at ease. If you suddenly spill your guts out believe me he'll ask for the bill and run a mile!!

 

Before you meet up though have a real think about why your rels broke down, and how you feel both of you acted at the end. This way you can be prepared for any qns he may ask. But don't bring anything up unless he does, so that he can feel at ease with the conversation.

[Mavis VDSande]

And with his past reactions - I think you need to relax about them! Break-ups are very difficult and just because someone can't speak to you it doesn't mean they don't want too. His way of dealing with things may be different to yours, please respect that.

[LostLoveinLosAngeles]

Most of the time "DUMPERS" need time to think and that is why NC is good for you and your mate. Don't make this date anything big in your mind. ITS JUST DINNER. The simplist way to find out what your partner wants is to just tell him exactly how you feel and what you want. Be adament about it and discuss the issues. If he is willing to work things out perfect, but if not then you'll know that you need to move on.

 

Most of time when I read posts on here you can tell that some people are afraid of expressing what the feel emotionally to their partner. Try being open with him that way you get your yes/no answer right away.