sohigh

hi JIzzyM, I just found your thread when I was browsing through this forum. I think I am pretty much in a similar situation as you are except I am a few steps backward. That means my ex and I aren't dating yet but we started talking again after some LC for the last few months. (We were together for a year and broke up for almost 6 months now. I do have a quick question though-- do you or him initiate to hang out before u guys officially started dating again?

Maybe you can start building a friendship with him first and see how you feel? I don't think you should make any decision right now. But at the same time, you should make it clear to him that you need more time to see how it goes. I think enough time has passed since your break up and so you should just treat this as if you first met him and see how you feel about it!

Hi all, I have recently posted my story about my ex and I (under "My first time posting here...need some advice?" posted on Feb8th). Anyway, I have been wondering a lot about the way he responded to my email because when we first broke up, he wouldn't answer my call and refused to talk to me. Even when I emailed him, it would take him a couple of days or even a week to reply. So I went NC for a little on and off but I couldnt help to spill my guts this past week and he wrote me back the next day asking me to have dinner and telling me that he hasn't forgot about me and misses me a lot. So i was very surprised that he replied with those words because he has refused to speak or see me for the past 2.5 months. The reason that we broke up is not because we don't love each other. We were dealing with a very difficult situation and leads to our fights towards the end. So, do you think he MAYBE interested in coming back? Or he is just being friendly? He has been pretty confusing to me during the whole break up...so maybe some of the guys' opinions on this change of behavior towards my contact? thank you so much!!!!

thanks for all your responese... AwdreeHpburn, well, i guess i just don't want to do things ONLY on his terms... See the thing is that in the first part of our relationship, we do things and want to spend time with each other mutually. Later on when he started this new job, he seems less interested in doing things with me. Most of the time we do things are on his terms and the times that I asked him to do things, either he turned it down last minute or he just couldn't make it. I tried to be very understanding about it but then I really did feel that i wasn't the priority anymore. So again...this dinner is on his term? How come when I asked him if we could talk and maybe work things out slowly, he ignored my calls? I guess i feel this way because I do feel like a doormat to him now...i dont know.... so in a way, i just want to protect myself from being hurt again... and yes, i think i need to work on my temper...i am never an angry person but it got to a point it was so frustrating that i had no control over my emotions anymore...very bad and I'm ashamed of it thanks again for the kind responses....

Hi all, I have been reading the stories here on and off ever since my bf (well, ex now i guess) and I broke up 3 months ago. I was devastated and of course I did most of the things that I shouldn't have --- crying, pleading, begging...and etc. He has avoided contacts with me for a while and he would only talk to my friends on the phone about OUR relationship, not me. Anyways, the reasons we broke up were that he has a very stressful job, which he started couple months ago. He couldnt devote much time or attention to me and I felt neglected. I know he loves me very much but towards the end, we fought a lot because I got mad and all these anger built up. I showed a strong temper, which I hate and I have been trying to better myself in that aspect. So he couldn't take it anymore and broke up with me. Long story short...I have been trying to do NC on and off from then on...we mostly keep in contacts through emails and yes, I initiated 9 out of 10 times (not proud of that, i know). The only phone call we had was on my birthday, which he called and we chatted briefly. It's been very difficult to keep my head straight so 2 days ago I wrote him an email telling him how i feel that I still love him and want to be with him...(yes, i know...not proud of that either if I'm trying to do NC). I wasn't prepared that he would write me back...not so quickly at least. He replied today telling me how he is still struggling with his job and dealing with a lot of things in life that he wants to me alone now. However, he also told me how much he missed me and assured me that he didn't forget about me. Then he went on asking me to have dinner with him sometime next week. So, guys...how should I respond here? Of course I would like to see him but at the same time, I don't want to appear to be too "excited" about it. Sorry for the long post but I'd appreciate if any of you can give some advice....thanks!!!!