Am I being paranoid or ignored?

[BrokenHeart82]

WHy is the first few months always the hardest? I think its probably because when something is BRAND new you know that any day it can poof..when something is more settled after 6-7 months you can chill a bit.

 

Anyhow I wrote yesterday about wont prematurely say I love you man. Well yesterday when we parted he said he'd text me later in the day and then asked me about coming by his parents this weekend. i said "we'll talk about it later." cause we had to iron out arrangments and he had to leave for work.

 

Yesterday..no text, no call, no anything..no sweat?

 

Today...I decided i would contact him to say hi

 

Me: "Miss me yet

Him (1 minutes later) Yeah

Me: "Hows your day going so far? I was thinking I could pop in Sunday on my way to the beach."

Him: K

Me: So ill need your dads address or directions. If you dont want me to thats ok?

Him: Text you in a bit.

 

This was 45 minutes ago...what the hell is going on here?

 

He persues me, then wants me to be his GF..I say lets wait a day and talk tomorrow..then he wants exclusivity but not the BF GF label. Saw eachother Friday and Tuesday into Wednesday. Invites me to his parents and over the following weekend as well. BUt then not a word from him yesterday or today and then short responses?? I just dont know whats going on and if someone could shed some light id appreciate it!

[Meow18]

Honestly, the first months shouldn't be this confusing.. I mean, of course you are still learning about each other, and maybe it's confusing because you don't know where you stand with each other until you talk about it.

 

But it really seems like he's not that into you. I mean, especially when it's new, you want to talk to each other whenever possible and you want to see each other whenever possible.

 

If he's changing his mind about being your boyfriend, and also not calling you or contacting you when he says he will, it sounds a little weird.

[darkpumpkin]

It's true. I know the difference between someone who is gaga about me and someone who doesn't really want to be more to me then someone who occasionally dates me. They call when they say they will and they do often. When I first when out with my bf he called every day. Wanted to see me all the time. lol only lasted about 3 weeks but still. I knew without a doubt he was into me.

[BrokenHeart82]

We're about two months in...and at first he was calling and texting frequently every day. Up until he asked me to be his girlfriend and until i met his family and stuff. Its like he took big steps and then immediately shrunk back.

 

i should mention he has an infant son and is having custody issues with the mother right now.

[Meow18]

I wonder if when he asked you to be his girlfriend and you saying to wait a day made him think that maybe you weren't as in to him as he thought. I mean, most of us wouldn't turn down a request to be a girlfriend of a guy we really like and have been seeing for a month or two. Maybe that just scared him a bit and that's why he backed off?

 

What do you think?

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I am not sure how your relationship has been overall or what direction is it taking but this statement jumped out at me...

 

"Me: So ill need your dads address or directions. If you dont want me to thats ok?'

 

This is a "wishy washy" statement here. You made it apparent you want to stop by and see him on the way to the beach on Sunday, which is great. It is bold, forthcoming, and stating what you want to do. Then you get a bit gun shy and state "if you don't want me to, thats okay." I have learned in the past a few things about this. One, in most cases, not all, if a guy does not want to do something or has something else in mind, he will tell you. And if he did not tell you but still wanted to do something else but had you come over anyway, oh well, that is his issue.

 

Another thing I have learned is stick to your guns. People respect you so much more if you do. In this case, sticking to your guns would mean texting something like this, "I would like to stop by your place and catch up with you before I go to the beach, can I have directions to your dad's house? Talk to you then." Now if he had other plans on Sunday, chances are he would have told you and offered an alternative (if he is into you) and if he did not tell you about his other intensions (if he had any) but allowed you to come over anyway...well that is his problem.

 

I have been that way before. Too accomidating. And guess what happened, I got walked all over, been taken advantage of and secretly resentful when my expectations were not met. State what you want, stick to it. I hope everything works out and that you hear from him soon.

[BrokenHeart82]

Maybe..I dont know

 

It was after a day with his son (first time id met the baby) and he introd me to everyone as his girlfriend and had "warned" ahead he was gonna do this.

 

On the way to his parents I asked if I was his girlfriend and he said "thats what I want!" Then we got to his parents and he said wed talk the next day and i agreed.

 

Next night i bring it up and he says that he likes me and wants to be exclusive but not ready for the emotional tie of boyfriend girlfriend. This upset me as id wrapped my mind that we were going to the next level.

 

We have seen eachother twice since this a week ago and like i said he invited me to his parents house and out the following weekend....but then there was the not saying i love you awhile thing and then not hearing from him all day yesterday when he said hed text (which takes??? 2 seconds?)

and now this?

 

Im wondering if i should just NC him and move on...

 

Is he interested, not interested, busy with the child, having second thoughts?

[BrokenHeart82]

Kell...I got "gunshy" because he had asked me to stop by if I could. So when i found a way I could and asked him i thought he'd be happy. Not say "K" to me asking how his day was and suggesting me stopping by.

 

I guess im more then a little ticked off..i dont feel like im getting enough attention from him. I know he has a child and that is priority number one but...if he wants to be with me he could show it a little.

 

its so confusing as he made many girlfriend references until he actually asked and I said yes (the next night officially) then he backed down but then when we went out the following weekend he intro'd me as his girlfriend with a smile and a hand squeeze which i took to mean he did want this.

 

Argh! This should not be so confusing.

[kellbell]

You are putting too much effort in a relationship its infant stages. You are centering your life around like guy already, perhaps you are losing yourself already in this relationship.

 

I recommend you keep busy with your own life, keep up with your friends, your hobbies and interests. He is pulling pack because your are pushing. It is apparent in your posts. Take a deep breath, try to relax and enjoy getting to know HIM and building the foundation in your relationship. Two months is hardly time to do this, this is a long process and takes time.

[kellbell]

"Kell...I got "gunshy" because he had asked me to stop by if I could."

 

It is my opinion he would have never had asked you to stop by if he did not want you to.

[BrokenHeart82]

It was very casual for the first 6 weeks which is why im going nuts here. I wanted it to be slow..very slow.

 

but I dont want to be seeing his family and son if this is a nothing relationship to him..I dont feel i should be put in that situation. Im not a nanny afterall!

 

I dont think im pushing...in fact several weeks ago he mentioned how he did most of the calling/texting and that i could contact him too. I have, but maybe once a week will I initiate calling.

 

I just dont know if i should even continue to bother....