Miserable and unmotivated

[Axel3sRoxas]

I feel like my life has come to a complete standstill, but I'm only 20. I have no job, no friends, no uni degree, I hardly go out at all and the only person I speak to that's my age is my boyfriend. He's the only good thing in my life at the moment, but I can't be with him all the time. It's when I'm alone I feel so damn miserable.

I've always been the same ever since I was a little girl, always crying and moping. I thought things would get better not worse. I've been on anti depressants for five years and I hate it so much I could scream until my lungs burn. I've lost all motivation to do anything; my mum cooks for me and cleans for me. I find myself getting up at midday only to do the same old thing over and over, like my life's just repeating myself. I can't even bring myself to do the things I enjoy, like reading and writing, and it frustrates me because my brain and mind seems to have just given up..

I hate this circle of going round and round, I can never keep a job, I always failed at school, I failed at college and now I fail at life.

I'm usually picked on wherever I work, though I'm not ugly or weird, just shy, and managers and other staff seem to pick out the worst in me and highlight it, sending me even further into depression and leading me to either A) stay off alot, resulting in being sacked, or B) quitting of my own accord because I'm so depressed that I just can't cope.

I wish I had enough self confidence to just get out there and not give a about anyone else and how horribly nasty other girls can be. The depression stemmed from being bullied in school and I just can't shake it off. It always comes back. I'm so very sick of my lifestyle, I feel dead already.

[robowarrior]

You are the only one who can give a swing to your life into another direction by making a choice to do something different the situation can change for you. You should NEVER let the negativity of others mold you in something you do NOT want to be.

 

You need to be like a castle gate, close yourself to bad people/things/events, and open yourself up to good people/things/events. If you let the enemy into your castle they will only bring your castle to ruins. So its important to close yourself emotionally towards bad people.

 

And if your castle is ruined, there's only two things you can do, cry over it, or rebuild. Crying leads to nothing ,so the only thing you can do is rebuilding your castle, and preventing those horrorible people from entering your life.

 

The only thing that can make you happy in life, is loving and helping other people.

 

What you need first is emotional stability, before you can gain intellectual growth. So first kick yourself out of the vicious circle, let me telll you something

 

There's only 3 directions in life

 

-go down

-stay where you are

-go up

 

The first 2 lead to death or nothing, so the only thing that is left is for you to go up in life, that's the only valid direction that leads you to a better place.

 

So attain spirituality, do yoga, meditation, walk thru nature, start enjoying life. Keep bad people out of your life, bring good people into your life.

 

Don't let people walk over you , close the gate and prevent that these people use you as a doormat. Work on a constructive and positive lifestyle.

 

link removed provides a lot of info on why life is worth living, and how its a training for the soul. The stories there are really motivating on why to keep on living.

[Jetta]

Well I've been there. And I've learned that no matter how much you want to quit living life keeps going. It's up to us to create the kind of life we want, don't expect it to come to you. Meds help and if yours aren't working you may need to try a different kind. I know when I found one that worked for me it was like wow this is the one. Meds don't heal everything, a change in attitude is necessary for me and may be for you. Stop whinning and start acting.

[Batya33]

My suggestion, not to sound like a broken record on this forum. Volunteer work, preferably work that requires you to be physically active - get the blood moving, etc. Also, exercise - from now on at least 30 minutes of cardio - you get your heart rate up to where at your age it is supposed to be for cardio effect (check link removed or similar for the right information) at least 4-5 times a week.