Broken n Confused

[chocojay]

Hope you help me. Bin wit him for 5 yrs now. He's 28 im 22, we live n work together which puts a huge strain on us. I think he cheats on me badly. I've seen emails he sends to these girls, telling them how unhappy he is in his relationship. It hurts because after all these years u think surely he is able 2 address these issues wit me if he's not happy. He gets calls from girls and speaks really sneaky like, and when we get home from work he puts his phone on silent mode, eveyday. i found out last year that he had been seeing this girl from the other side of town and they'd bin having a really deep emotional affair. But he says that he didnt love her but his emails to her say otherwise. He says he was just being naughty with her! I know i should leave because its not healthy for me but somehow, him being my first makes it hard to think beyond him. There are about 4 of these girls and it hurts me so much. They are skanks, the easy type.

He goes out with his friends every weekend without me now, says after a long week with me he needs time out. But even WE need our time during the weekend.

Im nw a few weeks pregnant and havin lost our first baby, i know thats its a gift from God, but i also know that leaving will be harder now! At tyms i dont want this baby. I wntd to leave the country but now i cant coz that job wont take me with a huge belly!

Im confused, ive become suspicious of everything, every call, im paranoid and insecure! I know its not healthy and ive become so mad that we become physical, its unhealthy. We are thinking of councelling. please advise me, am i just young and stupid? :sad:

[TheRedQueen]

chocojay, please heed this advice

GET OUT, GET OUT NOW!!!

[chocojay]

u think so?

[EvaGina]

Oh dear...

Sweetheart, you cant let him do this to you.

Its up to you what you do about the situation, but you either give him an ultimatum (and stick to it) or you leave.

 

Would your family help you if you left? Would they help you with the baby?

I reccomend printing off all the emails, if the worst happens you would need them to help you keep custody of the child.

 

YOU HAVE A RIGHT to feel paranoid, he is cheating on you!!! he doesnt respect you, he whines to other women about being unhappy in your relationship, but he refuses to do anything to help it!!

 

You are in a horrible position, and to be honest, I wouldnt count on him to change.

[TheRedQueen]

Absolutely!!!

 

You deserve sooooooooooo much more than what this, no offense, scumbag posing as your "supposed boyfriend", can, or ever will, be able to provide you.

[TheRedQueen]

Nope, I say no ultimatum, no relationship therapy, no "we can work this out", nope, absolutely none of that, and more importantly you should have none of him.

 

There's no easy way to say this, but this guy is trash, and just because that happens to be *his* fate, gives him absolutely no right to treat *you* as such.

 

Kick him to the curb, or more appropriately, kick him to the gutter!!!

[EvaGina]

Okay... RedQueen and I are in agreement...

Utilise all the help you can get and leave. Dont let him have anything to do with anything, dont tell him you are leaving or give him a chance to sweetalk you into staying.

 

RUN RUN RUN

 

And, unlike the scumbag, we have YOUR best interests at heart

 

Its not fair to bring up a child with a parent who disrespects the family.

[chocojay]

thanks guys

[TheRedQueen]

Are you okay with this advice?

 

Are you still in love with him?

[chocojay]

i have a great support system and my family will be able to help me with the baby and i also have a job so i'll be able to take care of myself and the baby. I was looking for that push and see things from a different perspective from woman that are older and wiser and thats what i received, thank you.

[TheRedQueen]

i have a great support system and my family will be able to help me with the baby and i also have a job so i'll be able to take care of myself and the baby. I was looking for that push and see things from a different perspective from woman that are older and wiser and thats what i received, thank you.

Well that's awesome to here!!!

 

Trust me, ditching this guy will be the best decison you'd make in your life.

 

Stay strong lady, I've got faith in you!!

[EvaGina]

I am sure youre family will be pleased you are getting out of such a horrible relationship.

 

This is a great board by the way, feel free to pick our brains or vent whenever you feel you need support

[cheatedon]

choco your right we are in a very similiar situation. Except my ex blaimed me for our breakup b/c i didn't trust him, said he couldn't live under a microscope. Made it my fault, but he was the one emailing, calling, texting, and hanging out with other girls behind my back. I wasn't the one cheating, i was just the one who was catching him all the time. No one deserves this, I know its tough b/c your pregnant, but he wont change. I thought my ex would change, but he hasn't, and he wont. Hes never been faithful to anyone, hes not about to start now. Your boyfriend is clearly cheating, you dont deserve that. Stick with me, get out now, and lets do this NC things together lol.