why am i so scared?

[buffalosoldier]

hello everybody!

well, this probably doesnt sound like much of a problem, but it is surprising how much it takes up my everyday thoughts and feelings about everything.im just scared i guess. im so scared of losing things that mean the most to me, that its affecting my ability to enjoy what i do have whilst i have it, if that makes sense. my life from the outside looks like the perfect lifestyle, and i know im very blessed so i find it hard to understand why i feel like this.- i have a boyfriend, a close family, close friends,i think im quite attractive, i have a good job etc. and i am happy, i guess. but sometimes i just feel so sad to. it has alot to do with my boyfriend, we have had problems in the past, all of which have been resolved now, and things are going better than ever now(we've been together on and off for about a year) but everyday i just worry that all the things that are going good in my life are going to be taken away from me.i feel like i am torturing myself with ugly thoughts about what on earth i would do if i broke up with my boyfriend again, and this time for good. i know i would cope, whatever bad things might happen to me, i know i am a strong person inside, but its like when things go wrong for me i totally lose perspective on the things that really matter. i hope someone understands what i mean, i just feel a bit lost, i was wondering if anybody has been in similar situations and how you coped with it? im fed up with not being happy when i have every reason to be.im 17 by the way if that helps thankyou very much in advance xxx

[jack79]

U shouldnt think so much about what could happen live in the present u are doing gr8 and have a gr8 life . Dont worry about what could happen becuse its not in your hands , when we think negative we generally make a good situation turn bad SO be POSITIVE IN UR THINKING REMEMBER U CANT HELP THE FUTURE BY A NEGATIVE THOUGHT PROCESS ...SO TAKE IT EASY

[buffalosoldier]

i know what you are saying, people have told me this in the past. but the problem is that i dont feel like i have a great life, physically perhaps (like health and material possessions etc) but mentally im a bit stuffed.- i worry about every little thing as if it has huge importance and probably pay too much attention to detail.i dont think im depressed i just find it so difficult to refrain from over analysing things and worrying myself stupid about losing the things that matter to me the most. you'll probably just say i need to chill out- your right i probably do,but ive got no idea how to go about it.-i imagine that if i dont think alot about situations then they will catch me off guard and i will end up getting hurt. and im so scared of getting hurt. ive even sat and wondered to myself whether it would be better if i just lived my life on my own away from anything and anyone that can cause me pain.- of course i know that i would be very unhappy if this were ever the case. i feel as if i sound like a freak,i dont know anybody that has felt like this before, maybe im just making a huge issue of nothing,but i feel so empty.if anybody can relate to me at all please give your advice i would appreciate it very much.thanx

[wonderer]

Hi Buffalosoldier.

 

I'm sorry that your feeling this way, however I can relate because I also worry and think way too much and I'm much older then you. It's called overthinking. They actually have written a book called "Why Women Think Too Much." I haven't gotten all the way through it, however so far it is very helpful. It explains why we do what we do and it tells you how to control it and what the consequences may be if you don't. I don't have the name of the author with me, but if your interested just let me know.

 

When you find yourself dwelling on things, you need to realize what your doing and push those thoughts out of your head. I've been told that you can't and will not change the future by worrying, so why do it. I don't always succeed in pushing these worrys out of my head, but I try to take one day and one moment at a time.

 

Good Luck!

[buffalosoldier]

Thankyou wonderer,that was some sound advice you gave me, its nice to know somebody understands what i mean and doesnt think im just being stupid like most! that book sounds like it would be a great help, i have read other books in the past,things about not letting small things take over your life etc, and i feel like they helped me out,so yeh id love to read it if you could let me know the author. thanx again xxx