Hmm.. she broke NC

[InsertNameHere]

Hm, ok, so she called and i picked up. We talked about life, and I asked why she called and she said "Just to talk." I told her that I would not like to talk for long because I was teaching myself to get over her and was starting to accept that fact that I would not got her back. After I said that, she said "How do you know you wont get me back?" I asked if there was a chance.. and she said "I don't know" then she said she had to go? AM I being strung along? Now Im back to day 1 of NC, and I didnt get any straight answer. What should i do

[lady00]

I don't know if you're being strung along...I think only she knows that.

 

I think there are two main possibilities (of course there could be others): she's (1) confused and not sure if she wants to be together or apart or (2) she just wants attention.

 

Do you have any other info that would lead you to think it might be one and not the other of those two possibilities?

 

If it's at all possible, I'd say try to forget about her and move on. But if you can't and if you think she's confused and you really want to get back together then maybe give her some time and ask her if she needs time to think about it and if she wants to get together and talk about it. That approach will take a lot of patience and will probably be difficult and there's no guarantee of success. If she's genuinly confused, asking for a straight answer right now will probably be perceived as pressure and that will not make her want to come back.

 

If you don't want her back or don't want her back badly enough, then I'd say just ignore it because she hasn't given you a solid answer even though it seems like she has left the door open to reconcilliation. I think moving on is often the easier thing but not necessarily the best thing...it depends on the couple and it depends on how you both feel. Sometimes people are genuinly confused and need time to think and if they're worth it to you, you should give them time. Other times, they just want an ego boost. Sorry if this isn't very helpful, it's just hard to know what's going on without being inside her head.

[InsertNameHere]

Ya I know. I really do want her back and I know she is very confused. Its hard to know what she is thinking, but even harder to know how I should act to get her back. I want to give her space, but its been like 2 weeks and its hard. I also dont want to be stuck around waiting

[rsxguy520]

bro, in my honest opinion, i think she called just to reassure herself that she has you. its like they need to know they can still talk to you without that break up guilt. it was like that for me when my ex and i broke up, the whole phone convo thing. just stick to what you were doing. its hard to avoid the contact, believe me i know, but it'll help you from suffering these set backs and the questions of is there a chance.

[Rabican]

Im not sure of your situation, but Ill assume that if you are going NC, then you are not interested in being just friends. IF that is the case then Id suggest sending her an email, or calling her real quick and just telling her what you said. That you are trying to get over her, and that in order for you to heal you need to go nc. Tell her that unless she wants to discuss getting back together with you... then you dont want to discuss anything.

[MiquelAngelo]

tell her my favorite line from a movie...

"When you really love someone you can't be Just Friends with them".

[sfindependent]

tell her my favorite line from a movie...

"When you really love someone you can't be Just Friends with them".

 

what movie is that?

[InsertNameHere]

So I asked her not to call unless she wanted to discuss us getting back together because I felt like I was being strung along, and she said thats not what she was doing. I asked her what she thought about us and she said she still didnt know, and that things might not even be the same if we got back together. Now I am feeling terrible.. Hope sucks. Back to day one of NC

[jade.green]

yes indeed - hope sucks. i'm going through something similar but i assure you it gets better. i agree with lady - i think you should just give her some time and space to think about things, and not calling is best. you don't need to explain yourself anymore or tell her why you're going NC - you've already done this. as for the waiting part, you're right - you can't wait forever. but i think that giving yourself some time and space to think about things too will allow you to figure out to what extent you really want and need her in your life as well. if she ends up wanting you back after it's too late - it's not your problem, it's hers. if you find that you don't want her back anymore, it will mean that you have truly moved on - which is actually a great thing, right? in the meantime, hang in there. hope sucks, but with every day of NC, the hope gets a little bit smaller. and remember, if you're feeling terrible, she probably is too! after all, she is the one who's confused, waffling, etc. good luck with NC! you can do it!

[lady00]

Well it's good that you got your feelings out there. Hopefully now she will respect your request not to call unless she wants to work things out. Good luck...I really hope things turn out the way you want.