how do you make it work?

[barbielovesmac]

How do you make a LDR work? Im not talking about the phone calls, the letters and all that stuff. Im talking about the emotional part. Everyone is different and everyone has their own opionions. What do you need to do to make it work??? Im so lost right now. Im ready to pick up and go back for the sake of my relationship. But I don't want to have to do that. Can anyone talk to me? I'd really appreciate any words.

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

When I was in a LDR, what got me out of feeling sad was having very regular contact with my girl. It made it easier somehow to know that she was feeling the same way. And something to look forward to, like a vacation together or a visit. I understand how you feel, the distance can be really frustrating.

[melly11]

That's what makes long distance relationships so tough...there's no easy answer. You just have to keep your head up and pull through as tough as it is...knowing that it will end.

[ImThatGirl]

Act as though running back is not an option.

 

Remember - besides him - there's NOTHING there. No jobs, no bright future, etc.

 

Stay strong - - - Make yourself pull through. Prove your strength.

 

And read your signature line.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

remind yourself that relationships that are strong and really right can, and must, survive all kinds of challenges... there is a big difference between dependence and insecurity and real love...

 

true love can survive distance because that person's importance to you never wavers... plenty of people are married to people in the military they don't see for a long long time, even years, with no security that they will even see the person again, but the love keeps them strong and keeps the bond alive...

 

please try to separate your loneliness and fear of the unknown and being in a new place from your longing for your boyfriend... sometimes the two get mixed up, and you go running back, and it still is not the right answer...

 

and if a relationship can't survive being apart for a while, then it is not about connection, but about fear and dependence...

 

so spend time doing positive things, like emailing him, talking to him, sending special care packages, making special plans for the next time you will see each other, etc... while still pursuing your new life, and finding people and things that support your new life...

 

if your boyfriend is right for you, you will survive this, and find a way to be together when and where both of you can have a great life...

 

best of luck, and HANG IN THERE!

[barbielovesmac]

thanks guys!!! i always appreciate the advice

[Joneysnai]

Being in a very long distance myself sometimes I ask myself if I can go through with it but I always think about the love I have with him. When I am lonely or I miss him, I look at the videos we have made together while traveling or the pictures we've taken together when I was in Sweden with him.

 

The days I can get by but the nights are really lonely but we never lose contact. Even now when he is in Australia with his two guy friends on vacation we are still keeping in contact via text messaging each other and he makes the effort to go to an internet cafe so we can chat for five minutes or so!

 

When I am not txting him, talking on the phone or chatting I often write in my journal, of course work but for me what has helped me most of the time is to look back at pictures and videos of us.

 

When I see him smile or think about the time we spent together it gives me hope and I look forward to seeing him again in May. He will be here for 3 months and then return back to Sweden again but by the end of this year I'll be moving to Sweden to be with him.

 

Think positive, you guys are together for a reason, hang on to that and don't let the distance discourage you or the loneliness swallow you up. I know it's easier said then done but just look forward to the time you WILL spend with him next.