last resort..

[fr8train]

Ok..I don't know were to start.. I know you all get complaining people like myself here all the time, but I don't know what else to do. Just getting to get myself to do this is difficult as I'm not the type of person who likes talking about their problems with anyone. Because of this I never do. I'm thankful for the internet or else I would never discuss this.

Ok. As you've all heard this before, I'm one of the millions of people out there in our world who suffer from being to shy or whatever to actually do the all the things that we want to do/accomplish.

 

Now for those who have read this far I'm sorry for beating around the bush. It's hard for me to address my problem but here it go's.. I'm 18 years old right now in my last year of high school and not only have I never talked to a girl, but I also have no friends.(You don't need to feel sorry for me, It's got to be my falt since everone else seems to know how to cope with life at least a little.) Since I know that it's my falt, I know I can change whatever is wrong with me no matter how difficult it will be. I know it can be done. This why I'm on here to get advice after all.

I'll start with my falts, reasons why I'm in this situation, I'll try to make a list.

1. I am horrible academically, I'm an all F student. For me school is extremely boring. I learn nothing. I don't do any of me homework, sleep through class, and I ace all my tests. I really hate to put this on here since I'm extremely ashamed of it. But I'm not here to look for help with school I'm just pointing out my flaws.

2. I'm an only child and I can go though weeks not talking to anyone.(other that hello/goodbye) I've become so used to it that it's very difficult for me to talk to anyone. So I don't at all. If someone says something to me I'll respond, but that's it. I don't even like talking about myself. Which may seem weird with me typing all this, I'm actually suprising myself.

3. I do weird stupid stuff like I'll go to a movie theater that's an hour away alone, just so I don't run into anyone I might know.

I could spend weeks typing my flaws but I think thats enough..

 

Now I'll list some good things about me so you can get a better idea what your dealing with.

1. I'm pysically atractive. I've been lifting wieghts every day for the last 2 years. I wiegh 170lbs at 6foot 2 with no fat. I'm I good looking guy with little to no acne. I'm always clean. Pysically i've been blest I'm very thankful for it. I feel like a * * * * * * * after writing this, but girls like confident guys right?? I all ways wear baggy clouths to hid how i look anyhow, as I feel kindof stupid if i don't. (I'm not a gothic kid and I don't feel sorry for myself.) I do not participate in any sports.

2. I have no reason to be insecure, yet i'm EXTREMLY insecure. For what seems to be no reason. I've had a number of girls take interest in me, but when there near me, I get this weird fear that doesn't seem to go away until their gone. I know that this is not normal and I don't know what to do..

If your read this far, thank you. I've had a hard time bringing myself to do this. I want to change myself while I'm still young, because if I don't I'm sure it will get worse.

 

Sorry about spelling or any typos. Thanks again if you can help me out

[Beec]

Wlecome to enotalone and please stick around.

 

You are probably going to have struggle because it seems likely to me that what you tell everyone who sees you is to leave you alone. Even if you don't say that in your words, because you don't talk, I bet you say it with your body language. Your comment about driving to a theater an hour away is also an indication that you want to keep the world out.

 

But now here you are asking someone to tell you how to let it in. Now, the biggest question may be why you are this way or got to be this way, but that probably needs someone with real training to help you with, and I do not have that, but I think you should try to seek it. It seems to me that there is something about you which needs to learn to love yourself.

 

Otherwise, you may really fear rejection or betrayal. I don't know. I can easily give you some hints as you improving your people skills. That's simple, but I'd really advise you to go read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, which is a classic.

 

What I would also tell you to do is learn a litlte about body langauge, act like you are releaxed, smile and tell people "hello", hi, and "good morning." Try a person in store first, smile and say hi. then expand.

[txblues]

u sound like me; never had friends or girlfriends. didn't like talking too much, just one or two word replies. sometimes i feel like i am antisocial and have no need for friendship then at the same time i feel lonely. i used to feel like i was at my last resort, now its just a general feeling of pessimism and unhappiness if that makes sense; not happy with my social situation, or career.

 

well my advice would be to develop interest besides weightlifting. get to know people through intramural sports, pickup basketball games, etc... try internet dating; seems like girls like your looks. alot of girls are into halfmarathon training, hiking, martial arts. those make for decent email convo. "hey so what's your run schedule like?... do you do speed training or just all long distance...? wanna train sometime?"

 

also post your picture on hotor not...good score, bad score...it doesn't really matter as long as you are happy with yourself. i did this to help prove to myself i don't need anyone else's approval. ofcourse its only the internet. real life is another ball league but it helped to desensitive me a little.

[beh700]

ohh sheez. high school. either you fit or not. 2 years later and i'm still having nightmares. i have people who still go out of their way to tell me how much they hate me. but you just have to realize high school is not even close to what life is really like. i hope you know that.

 

first, academics shouldn't define one of your personal faults. second, it's easy to pick up talking. the first step is the hardest and you already made it by telling people you are having trouble. if i could suggest anything it would be to make little brief, and every day comments. like asking a person next to you to borrow a pen when you forget yours because the teacher obviously took yours to shove up his *ss. ahaha don't say that. no, but asking how to do a math problem or anything. it can be quiet but it reminds people you are just human too. you'll soon make a few acquaintances that you can pursue. which can address your last problem. you could ask if they are going to a basketball game or something and say maybe you'll meet them there. that'll take care of any awkward run-ins to make them planned and fairly comfortable. that is always the hardest step. but you really don't have anything to lose by going out of your comfort zone.

 

and if you take care of your physical appearance chances are a handful of girls have had their eye on you, and if you befriend just one girl then guys are going to want to be your friend too. because guys flock to competition.

 

also, high school is almost over. so just try some new things! if you get embarrassed then you hardly have any time to think about it. and start over once you get out. talk to people you run in to. befriend a co-worker. go to college if you can (lots of great experiences there). but it's never too late to improve high school. you seem like a great guy so just step out of all those insecurities and show them who you really are.

 

good luck! let me know if i can help.