How to break up?

[cheerfuldaisy]

When breaking up with someone, is it better to talk to them over the phone or to meet them in person to discuss it? Also, how to talk to someone when you want to break up without distroying the friendship. Also, how can I make it not a bad breakup?

 

Also, before the day of the breakup should you still hold their hands, kiss (when they initiate it) or should you hint something to them that you will soon want to breakup with them.

 

Anyone have good experiences or suggestions please share.

 

Thank you.

[melrich]

I think it is always best if it is possible to be face to face. It may be uncomfortable and you may confront some anger even a level of hostility but in time the other person will understand you showed them respect and will in turn respect you for your courage.

[shikashika]

its NEVER good to do it over the phone..

 

ALWAYS do it in person... why do you want to break up?

 

how do you think you are going to keep a friendship if you break the other person' heart? I think thats a bit of having your cake and eating it... you want to do something mean to them.. but still expect them to like you?

[bigheart09]

My bf just broke up with me and he wanted to do it face to face, but wanted to wait until Monday to see me, but I made him do it over the phone b/c I didnt want to wait when I knew it was going to happen.

[broman23]

From personal experience I would much rather have a person break up with me in person. Over the phone is just insensitive. Also if they initiate stuff don't respond if you plan to break up. It will just leave them puzzled. They'll ask why you seem distant or what's wrong and if you feel the time is right, go for the break up then. But don't initiate anything or respond to holding hands or kisses. It will send a distinct message to the person and it may even let them "see it coming" and let themselves prepare for the inevitable.

[Firedancer03]

As someone who was broken up with over the phone, I want to say PLEASE do it in person. Breaking up over the phone is such a cowardly and disrespectful gesture. In person at least shows the other person that you have enough respect for them and the relationship to end it looking them in the eye.

 

As for not destroying the friendship, well, as far as that goes, it is completely up to your soon-to-be-ex. I know that may not be what you want to hear, as you seem to want to stay friends with this person after the breakup. Thats all well and good, but since you are choosing to end the relationship, you do not get to dictate the subsequent friendship, if there is one. If the person you break up with wants to remain friends, that is up to them. If they find that it is too hard to be friends with you because you've broken their heart, thats up to them as well. Unless of course you two decide mutually to end the relationship, it should be a mutual decision to remain friends or not.

 

Many dumpers don't really get this, but realize that when you break up with somebody, you risk losing them forever. Meaning, after you break up with them, they may not want to be friends with you or want to have you in their life anymore. That is the reality of a breakup, so please be advised that this could happen in your situation.