Jlizzy Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 If Sarah's boyfriend 1-has twice said/claimed to want to do the websearch for her when she asks to do a quick search on his computer and then when she insisted she wanted to search herself, has hovered behind her "acting" like he just wants to be with her but then afterwards walks away and 2-recently introduced her to Casey whom he about a year ago claimed (to Sarah) made him realise his ex was not for him simply coz one day he had to give her a lift on a group outing and he got to discover she's such a good looking and lovely girl but had a boyfriend so nothing happened...and in the past year has mentioned nothing else about Casey, then suddenly upon introduction Casey on a night out when Sarah decides to join her boyfriend, Sarah finds out how they work together, go for regular smokes together and in his drugged state that night he spends a LOT of TIME talking about what a great friend and girl Casey is, how he's going to promote her at work, how she's such a great buddy and so on... What would you think? Link to comment
flower99 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 i would possibly think he has a crush Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Oh dear. The top sign of an affair is changes in behavior. I'd be highly suspicious. Link to comment
flower99 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 made him realise his ex was not for him simply coz one day he had to give her a lift on a group outing and he got to discover she's such a good looking and lovely girl but had a boyfriend so nothing happened That would worry me. She made him realize his ex was not for him....he idealizes her. He realized what a good looking lovely girl she was, BUT she had a boyfriend. To me, that means he likes her, finds her attractive & would have like it happened. (boyfriend was the ONLY reason it didn't) Link to comment
chigal28 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 It does sound like he has a bit of a crush on her. Whether or not he'd act on it, that's a completely different matter. It could be completely harmless, but it's really his choice whether or not to let this friendship potentially develop into something more. I don't necessarily think people in relationships are immune to developing "crushes" every now and again, but that person always, always has a choice of whether to encourage that crush, nurture it, or ultimately act on it. Has Sarah voiced her concerns to her boyfriend about the amount of time her boyfriend spends with this person? Link to comment
Jlizzy Posted February 3, 2007 Author Share Posted February 3, 2007 Sarah doesn't know how much time her boyfriend spends with this girl. They work together. And when she finally met this girl (after never hearing anything other about her than how this girl made him realise his ex wasn't good for him) he in his drugged up state (on Ectasy) spent a large portion of the night going on about how great this woman is, what a great friend she is, what great chums they are, how often they go smoking and so on and on. When this girl managed to convince Sarah and her boyfriend to go back with herself and her boyfriend because she'd always wanted to meet sarah, and how great and so on and on (and didn't want any of her other friends to come back), Sarah's boyfriend then invited them over the next day for dinner (without asking Sarah), starting talking about how they should join Sarah and her bf in Salsa classes (something Sarah and her bf had agreed they should do together to spice up/ make the relationship better), how they should all go fishing together, how they should all take a weekend away together. Then a week later mentions to Sarah how they should all go horseriding together (when she got pissed off with him for not coming home til 10am the next morning after a night out and not filling her in properly on this)..some lame excuse about how he knows Sarah doesn't like his friend who does drugs (Sarah actually just dissapproves of her boyfriend not being able to say no to drugs when he goes out with this friend) and how he thought it would be great for sarah if they can spend time doing coupley things with another couple.... She has tried talking to him about many things but he's not a very open talker unless he's had alchohol or drugs and when she tries to express her concerns to him he tells her he feels like he's being criticised and scolded and tells her it's her communication style. What to do?? Link to comment
Jlizzy Posted February 6, 2007 Author Share Posted February 6, 2007 Confused and ticked off now. Am doing some sales training which required me to do a sort of personal profile questtionaire of myself and to get at least one other person to fill it in. Some people at work were too busy and some didn't want to I guess -my manager came back saying he doesn't know me well enough..I guess some people feel awkward about this... The boyfriend kindly agreed to fill it in but afterwards asked me to not look at the answers...ie only to look at the average outcome... I tried to tell him that obviously it would be mean if i gave him grief for an answer I didn't like but that I would find his opinions very interesting..in my view our communication is not very open at all and I would love him to open up to me more..this includes how he views me..I'd be wanting to take his responses and just see if there's some way i can benefit from it but he made me promise not to look at the answers and threatened to take the questionaire back off me when I tried to clarify my pt of view! In the end when i calmly tried to tell him that I understand and respect his opinion but how I'd find it intersting he stood up really angry and was basically yelling at me! What do you guys think? Overreaction? Link to comment
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