First time talking on Phone

[chocolady]

I must admit I absolutely HATE talking on the phone. I can't ever think of a thing to say, or I get self awareness..I'm not like this in real life, I can talk to anyone about anything and I'm worried that he will be put off by me being tongue-tied.

 

It's getting to the stage where I 'feel' he thinks I'm messing him about but I'm not...I've told him that i'm not good on the phone and he seems to understand and I know it's something that has to be done and I WANT to talk to him but I'm having palpitations just thinking about it.

 

 

So when you talk on the phone for the first time, what do do you talk about? How long should the conversation be? Is it ok to say hi and bye quickly? Any suggestions or tips?

[confused25]

Yeah I'm the same way! I dread talking on the phone with my boyfriend sometimes because we run out of things to say somethings and then there's the awkward silence on the phone. Usually if you talk on the phone for the first time you're trying to learn stuff about each other. Like maybe you can ask him about his childhood, his career, family, college life back in the day, I dunno, anything. Usually we just talk about what we did for the day or if there are any exciting updates for that week . . .

[BrokenHeart82]

Hi Choco!

 

I think its normal to have phone anxiety! Maybe it would make you more comfortable if you set a personal time limit for yourself (say 10-15 minutes) and when that time is up politely tell him that you've enjoyed talking to him, but you must go do X,Y,or Z.

 

Something that a friend once told me is if you have a habit of becoming nervous and then just chattering on about whatever, sometimes regretting it (I do this sometimes!) to jot down a few things to talk to him about before you talk. Maybe a current event you found interesting or something of that nature..this keeps you from searching for things to say and absent mindedly reciting what you had for lunch!

 

Hope this helps!

[Beec]

Obviously you have had some prior contact, presumably through email or the internet, so you know some things about him. Well,think of some questions that you can ask him about things he likes and does to get it started. And remember to listen, not chatter away.

 

You'll be fine.