I just cant deal with this anymore

[Penny1041]

Well, I will do my best to make this short and to the point. Ive been forced to live at my moms for almost a year now.. My mom is mean and crazy. My 40 year old brother lives there too and she babies him, he cant do any wrong in her eyes. He's a drug addict and a thief.

Anyway, my brother tried forcing my daughter, who's 13 years old to get him some socks if she wanted a ride from my mom to the bus stop. He was rushing to get to work and because hes the loser he is, he has no car, so my mom takes him. He barked orders at her as if she were a dog.

I was so angry, I took her to the bus stop. She shouldnt be forced to fetch him things especially when he demands it and does'nt even ask her nicely.

My mom is really angry with me for not showing my daughter "that we should all be working together." He was just sitting there, he could have easily retrived his own socks and dressed himself.. I'm so angry and just soo tired of having to live in that house.

Am I wrong for what I did?

 

Thanks for letting me vent...

Penny

[ImThatGirl]

Hey, Penny!

 

I understand your point and frustration! He should get it together, right? Bleh! He probably didn't think it was a big deal to order her around.

 

As far as your mom being upset with you.... I don't think there is any reason for her to be really angry. But maybe she is just hoping and trying to make everyone living in the house to work together and compromise for smooth going? Maybe she thought it wasn't a big deal. What about your daughter? Was she upset before you made it clear he was out of line?

 

Any chance of getting housing for you and your daughter?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think your mom is obviously at the age where she is not going to change, even if she is hard to deal with...

 

and she seems to be treating your brother as the 'prince', another dysfunctional problem, where he has shown the effect of that and grown up to be self centered and irresponsible because he was so spoiled by your mother...

 

sometimes mothers are like this, where they pamper their sons while expecting their daughters to be Cinderella's and wait on him... so your mother is only passing this attitude towards your daughter too, that she should wait on him...

 

anyway, since they are too old to change, i think you should instead channel your anger into working towards getting moved out of the house... since you are an adult, you should try to get in a situation to run your own household for yourself and your daugther, rather than be dependent on your mother for a place to live... sit down and make a plan for how to do this, and take advantage of any services you need to help you get back out again on your own...

 

but if you are 'stuck' there for a while, unfortunately it is her house, and she is who she is, so you'd best try to count to 10 when she (or your brother) drive you crazy, and work towards getting out of there.

[MissLissa]

[quote=BeStrongBeHappy;1434412

 

sometimes mothers are like this, where they pamper their sons while expecting their daughters to be Cinderella's and wait on him... so your mother is only passing this attitude towards your daughter too, that she should wait on him...

 

.

 

Thats how my mother is as well.. She thinks woman should wait hand and foot on the men. So maybe thats why your mother is like that?

 

If i was you, since being an adult yourself id make a plan to get out. And if thats not the case at the moment for a reason. I just wouldnt listen to my mother. Even if it is her house, you are an adult and there is no need to have your daughter wait on your brother like that. You make the rules for your daughter, not your mother. Tell her that she may enjoy doing everything for your brother, but you do not feel that way, and you dont want your daughter to do the same. And i would talk to your brother about it. That is just rude of him to treat his neice like that. He needs to show some respect to the both of you. Which im sure you know this. But really if talking to them doesnt work. Id try working on getting an apartment or something.