Relationship Advice

[lancslad]

Hi All,

 

I have been in a relationship now for over a year and my girlfriend and we have been drifting apart now for about 3 months, we both love each other.

 

We see each other all the time as we both work at the same firm and we see each other at least 3 nights during the week, and at weekends.

 

There is no excitment anymore in the relationship and I want to get that back, before all this I was having the time of my life with her, we always got on and never argued. We have decided to have time apart for a while just so we can have time alone.

 

Can anyone give me any advice here as what to do next as I want this relationship to work out.

 

Thanks for any advice

Lancslad

[honeyspur]

I would say that being open to whatever issues with you, she has, would be the best way to reconcile, once the time is right.

[robowarrior]

Couples are supposed to make eachother happy, so only bring love and light into eachothers lives. If you want excitement back you two should go out and do fun stuff together. Being bored is also a valid reason to step out of the relationship, its not nice if you aren't amused at all in the relationship. So from time to time you have to do something creative and entertaining to recandle the fire in the relationship.

[lancslad]

thanks for your replies,

 

so your saying the best thing that I could do now is once we have had a short break from eachother, spending a little time apart, is to start doing fun things together?

 

Do you think couples that have a break from eachother can really works things out later on down the line, I am only talking maximum of 2 weeks?

 

Thanks

[Beec]

I would not ask her for or have a formal break with her. Your drifting apart, it seems like you are both broed, so get off your butt and fix it.

 

Things do not stay fresh without some tension. Ever hear about makeup sex being really hot? Well, it is because there was tension and the sex is releasing it. Do you recall the feelings of being on a first date and wondering if she likes you? You get butterlfies, nervous energy, and you really wonder, and then you lean in to kiss her and she kisses you right back! The nervous energy was tension, and then when she kissed you back, it got released.

 

If things are really boring and mundane, I bet you even kiss her the same way all the time. It's gone from something hot and passionate, to a peck on the lips. CHANGE IT, change everything.

 

First, change how you kiss her or she kisses you. Don't try to kiss her and when she kisses you, resist in a teasing and joking/fun manner. Have her lean in to kiss you and then back away from her just out of reach of her lips. Smile, jokingly, then when she leans in further, do it again. Mkae her chase you a bit for a kiss, create a little tension.

 

After she has chased you once, then let her peck you again, then at a random moment tease her. Create tension, release it.

 

Then change things entirely, when she comes up to kiss you, not knowiing what to expect, grab her, wrap and arm right around her waist, and kiss her like you were trying to weld your lips to hers. When that kiss is done, stop it, and look at her as if nothing happened. She won't look that way at all.

 

Another change, when she gives you a peck, and this is after a few passionate kisses, stop her and let her know that the peck was simply not good enough. Tell her to come over and kiss you correctly, let her know she needs to put in more effort.

 

OK, one other thing to do, withdraw. Leave her alone for a little while, but don't tell her how or why or even let her know it is happening. Just don't be there. And you can do it while you are there physically but not mentally, just seem like you are thinking about anything but her. Sit there reading next to her. Let her miss you, and then when you are there, both mentally and physiclaly, she will appreciate you more.

 

DO NOT TELL HER ANYTHING about what you are doing or why. If this is going to work, it needs to be done and not talked about.

 

CHANGE your approach to sex, play hard to get at times, then attack and take her at times. If you know she wants sex and you are very aloof from her overtures, then you attack ehr, you will have created tension and then really released it.

 

Also tease her. It too helps create tension.

[heloladies21]

If you've gotten to this point, then the relationship is on the way out the door and there's nothing that can be done to stop it. You two will eventually break up for good.

[Beec]

If you've gotten to this point, then the relationship is on the way out the door and there's nothing that can be done to stop it. You two will eventually break up for good.

 

I just disagree.

 

Lot's of negative waves there heloladies.

 

Positive thoughts.

 

Most long-lasting relationships all have their times when people drift apart, but many come back together.

[northwoods]

If you want this relationship to work you have to realize that you have to do something about it. You can't just "let it drift apart".

 

Get a hotel room and take her away for a weekend. If you don't have that much time or money, get a hotel room downtown and surprise her after a nice dinner or something.

 

Try to be a little romantic - show her that spark is still there or you'll forever drift apart.

[lancslad]

Thanks for your reply Beec

 

I will try these points and see how I get on.

 

Hopefully with me not seeing her at all now apart from at work she will also realise (hopefully) how much I mean to her.

 

See how things go, hope to god it works!!!

 

Thanks again