What are some good ideas for dates?

[hosswhispra]

I'm agreeing with what you're saying, Luke. I like it. I was thinking the same thing.

 

I'm not cheap, but... I don't know. Buying someone coffee, even, on the first date could be seen as trying to buy her off. I'd like her to know I'm not in the business of buying women off to get them to appreciate me.

 

I disagree.

 

Telling her that you're going to take her on a cruise around the world and a provide her with a monthly allowance--you know like a sugar daddy--that would be seen as buying someone off.

 

But, yeah, with all kidding aside--treating her to a coffee would not be viewed as trying to buy her off. It would be seen as a polite and gentlemanly thing to do.

[Weeblie]

I agree. Paying for coffee isn't a big deal. I've never felt like a guy was trying to buy my attention with coffee or even with a meal.

[thlst3]

Why don't you look into your City Guide paper and see what events, concerts, theater, and activities going on this weekend?

 

I usually start with that...

 

Find a cozy, inexpensive, and fun eatery.

[cantexplain]

I'm agreeing with what you're saying, Luke. I like it. I was thinking the same thing.

 

I'm not cheap, but... I don't know. Buying someone coffee, even, on the first date could be seen as trying to buy her off. I'd like her to know I'm not in the business of buying women off to get them to appreciate me.

On the most base level I feel who ever initiates the date should do the paying.

 

I also think us guys should still offer to pay if she initiated the date and the expense is minor - like coffee - depends on one another's bank accounts I guess - because it is an old-fashioned guy thing to do to pay for his date. If she insists on paying for her share or even ours, by all means honor this and let her pay.

 

What matters most here is what is in our hearts. Are we trying to buy her attention and time by dating or do we legitimately want to reciprocate her attention and budding affection by carrying or contributing to the costs of the dates. Depending on what you feel is how your actions and words will project.

[Kevin T]

Now I have something to think about.

 

I am well aware of what is old fashioned... and I'm not averse to being archaic, but let's be real here. Is it really a good idea to do this on a first date? I don't know. I'm not convinced yet.

 

It would be as bad as me showing up to pick her up with a red rose in my hand. (Which, before, I would've totally advocated! Thank God I learned.)

[Beec]

Week night, drinks or coffee, and don't even tell her it is a date for sure.

[Kevin T]

Wasn't planning on it. It's to be understood. I don't waste my time (I'm very busy - despite how often you see me here! lol), so if I'm taking time of out my schedule to get together with someone, even just for coffee, it's something.

[Luke Skywalker]

Kevin, but don't most dating books, as well as ENA, advise the guy to buy the girl coffee or a drink (non-alcohol) on the first get together? I was always under the impression that when you went on a first date with a guy, usually he bought the drink (if a coffee date)

 

What dating books give that advice? I've read stuff from various sources which say 'it doesn't matter who pays for the date' as the effect is still the same.

 

On the subsquent date - which is really the 'real date' once you've vibed and feel each other out, then I've read from the books that suggest the guy should pay for THAT date as you are setting the tone and mood by doing so. After all, if she's really into you and wants to see you a second time, then she'd she may be worth spending money (within a pre-set budget) on.

[Kevin T]

I think whoever asks should pay. Since that'd be me, I guess I'm paying the first time. I can spare the 5 bucks, I suppose.

 

I sound like such a cheapskate from this thread. lol I'm really not! Honest.

[Aurian]

Don't worry, I feel weird that the guy is always expected to pay. I always pull my purse out to pay my own way, and if the guy offers to pay, I appreciate it very much, but I do not expect it.

[Kevin T]

Eh, it's only coffee, so it's not like I'm buying her a new ring or something. Guess I shouldn't sweat it so much.

 

And it's not like I've called them yet either, so this is all moot.

[Beec]

You cannot try to buy her attention, and if you could, why would you want her. Any woman that puts a price on her head or body is not worth having any any longterms sense. Some guys might think she is worth spending a few bucks on the get her body, but then once they're done with that, what's such a woman worth.

 

Moreover, you and you alone, time with you and your attention should be enough compensation for her to at least reciprocate with hers. If you go out with her and she does not give you enough, be ready to say NEXT.

 

Big expensive dinners are you trying to buy her attention. Inexpensive or reasonable dates with you are you not trying to buy her attention, and should be you thinking yours is enough.

 

Buying someone a cup of coffee is not something you should consider expensive. If you waste the few bucks it costs, oh well, it's only a few bucks. Even if she orders the most expensive coffee I can think of, it would still be a cheap date. Think of that cost as nothing. It's not that much for most people.

[JulieW]

I'm an active girl so I like to go bowling, hiking, rock-climbing....

 

That way I can see several things at once about the guy. How does he handle not being able to do something well right away? What's his fitness level or interest in fitness? What kind of competitive streak does he have?

 

That's what I like to do