Always "the other woman".........................

[candykisses]

I have a 2 part question that I'd like to get some opinions on..

 

First, what constitutes cheating? The better questions is... what constitutes cheating when alcohol is involved? A guy who has a girlfriend kissed me on the lips. If he kissed me under normal and sober circumstances that would be cheating. But what if it happened in a drunken/party context? Is it still cheating?

 

Second, why am I always "the other woman" ??????? Why have I always been the girl guys cheat on their girlfriends with/want to cheat on their girlfriends with? I've experienced everything from a guy telling me he'd rather be with me than his gf, to a guy I slept with who didn't tell me he had a gf, to guys who deliberately try to hide their relationship status from me. (in normal/sober circumstances). All this and I can't get with a single, AVAILABLE guy. I don't get it... am I the concept of "the other woman" ? It's not even anything I do. I don't even DO anything. I don't deliberately plan to go after taken men, act sexually available, or lead anyone on. If anything, THEY're the ones who deliberately go out of their ways to hide the fact that they have gfs from me. I just mind my own business.. and each time I find out they have gfs, I walk. But they just keep on coming back. I'm very sick of this.... I don't want to always be just "the other woman".

Anyone care to shed some light?

[Day_Walker]

I dont think that alcohol can excuse cheating. I think that if you are so far gone that you have no idea what you are doing then that can be taken into consideration but the act was still done.

As far as being the other women, since you know that you are prone to this then you need to take a better approach to finding out if the guy has a gf so you can know early on.

[Hope75]

Yep- it's still cheating even if you are drinking.

 

Did you know the guy had a girlfriend?

 

I would say you may have to be more direct in the future, as in asking a guy who is advancing on you, or who asks you out, directly if he has a girlfriend. Obviously if he lies to you than there isn't much that you can do about that- but my hope is that if asked directly, most guys would be honest.

[longhaircats]

I agree with Day_waker. You can ask a guy if he has a gf before sleeping with him.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

I agree with Day_waker. You can ask a guy if he has a gf before sleeping with him.

 

I dont think that any man/woman who is going to cheat on his or her partner is going to openly admit that they have a girlfriend/boyfriend prior to becoming intimate with someone. So you have to rely on your own instincts.

 

I personally, think that as time goes on you start to see the red flags..that this person may not be on the up and up..- you just can't get caught up in all the "talk" .... ya know what i mean?

 

Cheating is cheating ..and i think the excuse "i was drunk" is just that....an excuse.

[candykisses]

As far as being the other women, since you know that you are prone to this then you need to take a better approach to finding out if the guy has a gf so you can know early on.

 

But why am I prone to this? I mean.. what's the difference between a girl you date and you get into a comitted relationship with vs. a girl you just wanna have fun with? What do I do to stop being looked at as the latter??

 

 

Yep- it's still cheating even if you are drinking.

 

Did you know the guy had a girlfriend?

 

I knew he had a gf.. I wasn't intending to be a homewrecker so I didn't respond to his flirting and the touchy-feely things he did. At the end of the night however I did give him a kiss on the CHEEK because he was leaving... I thought it was nothing since it was just a peck on the cheek. Then he kissed me on the lips. GF wasn't there.

 

My fault for giving him that kiss on the cheek or no?

 

I agree with Day_waker. You can ask a guy if he has a gf before sleeping with him.

 

As for that guy I slept with who didn't tell me he had a gf... I DID ask him. He lied and told me he didn't.

[HarleyHunny]

First, cheating is doing anything with another that you would not want your s/o to find out about and it's always wrong IMO.

 

2nd, You are the other woman because you ALLOW yourself to be.