Ex g/f threatened to commit suicide if I don't come back

[whatwentwrong19]

Hi I'm at a loss of what to think now and for the first time it's like I don't really care if she does it or not. However at the same time I feel like I'm going to be responsible for it.

 

I'm fed up with it already. Is this another one of her sick games or she seriously about it because she never was a suicidal depressive person? While I was at work, I was told it was an important call and there was her voice, saying things about how I was her life, that she couldn't live without me and that she wants me back and how I would not be able to find another girl that loved me as her. She end up by saying "I'm afraid I'm going to commit suicide if you don't come back and it's going to be all your fault if I do".

 

Just two days I got called by neighbors to come down and there was my car getting burn along with a flat tire. Obviously it was her again.

[jengh]

oh wow... i'm sorry you have to deal with all of this crap.

She burned your CAR!? I hope you called the police and that they were able to find evidence.

How old are you?

She is NOT your responsibility. If you think she's serious about killing herself, you need to contact her family or closest friend. Let them handle this. It's not your job to make sure she's happy. Not anymore anyways. You could also call one of those suicide hotlines and get their advice.

 

but, no matter what, this would NOT be your fault!

[dacanay]

Dude,

 

I dont care what they say, IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT if your girl commits suicide coz you left her, She did it by herself, you didnt persuade, talk her into, nagged her to commit suicide. I wont think she would do it coz years ago my girlfriends ex told her that e would commit suicide if she left her, and up to this day he is very alive and kicking. (though i would prefer it if he did go through with it..just kidding Your girl got issues man, its not your fault, No ones gotta gun to her head. No ones forcing her to do anything.

 

goodluck with that mang

[jengh]

dacanay is right. more than likely, she's all talk. however, there's always the possibility that she's not which is why you need to, in my opinion, talk to her family.

I'm not sure how long you were together?

[Mr Mister1]

First question, why did you two break up in the first place?

 

Okay, most of the time people who threaten to kill themselves wont actually go through it. It really sounds like she's just doing it to manipulate you.

 

EDIT: I missed that last bit about the car, yikes! If you can prove it then I'd tell the police, and tell them about what she's been saying to you. It sounds like she needs locking up for her and your safety.

[whatwentwrong19]

oh wow... i'm sorry you have to deal with all of this crap.

She burned your CAR!? I hope you called the police and that they were able to find evidence.

How old are you?

She is NOT your responsibility. If you think she's serious about killing herself, you need to contact her family or closest friend. Let them handle this. It's not your job to make sure she's happy. Not anymore anyways. You could also call one of those suicide hotlines and get their advice.

 

but, no matter what, this would NOT be your fault!

 

The more I think about it the less pity I have for her. As for calling the cops I'm not sure how will they take it. Won't they be laughing that it's a girl doing this? I had broken up with her for 5 months already and well the first incidence was her throwing a glass bottle on my window (lucky I was no where near) and trying to get in by kicking on my door. Like I stated I never reoprted because I figure they would just not take it serious.

 

I'll try talking to her parents about it tough.

[jengh]

No, they absolutely will not take this lightly, ESPECIALLY if you've been broken up for so long. I seriously urge you to report this before it escalates into doing something to harm you directly or indirectly. There's no telling what this girl will do.

[whatwentwrong19]

First question, why did you two break up in the first place?

 

Okay, most of the time people who threaten to kill themselves wont actually go through it. It really sounds like she's just doing it to manipulate you.

 

EDIT: I missed that last bit about the car, yikes! If you can prove it then I'd tell the police, and tell them about what she's been saying to you. It sounds like she needs locking up for her and your safety.

 

The reason I broke up with her was because I couldn't take it anymore in our last argument in which the few scars on my face are still left as a result (from her long nails).

[whatwentwrong19]

I'm not sure how long you were together?

 

We have been toegther for 3 years and that's exactly where the nightmare started.

[jengh]

Oh wow...three years is quite a while.

She was physically abusive to you? This leads me to believe she's not going to stop at torching your car. I'm afraid if you don't say something, she'll try to hurt you even worse. Keep your pets safe and lock your doors!!

[whatwentwrong19]

Oh wow...three years is quite a while.

She was physically abusive to you? This leads me to believe she's not going to stop at torching your car. I'm afraid if you don't say something, she'll try to hurt you even worse. Keep your pets safe and lock your doors!!

 

It was verbal in the first year and then it got to physical. Actually I have been thinking of owning a taser gun and shooting her with it if she comes near me. I don't have any pets, thanx goodness. Though she used to be very sweet with animals, strangers and children.

[jengh]

It was verbal in the first year and then it got to physical. Actually I have been thinking of owning a taser gun and shooting her with it if she comes near me. I don't have any pets, thanx goodness. Though she used to be very sweet with animals, strangers and children.

 

a taser gun may not be such a bad idea. then you can taser her and call the cops!! This girl sounds like a real nut.

[Siriana]

NO, SHE WOAN'T COMMIT SUICIDE!

She's not completely stabile person, so this clame she made is her trying to catch the last straw available. She doesn't want to hear no from you, so even trying to blackmail you looks like a good idea to her.

 

She's sick and thinks how you can force someone to be with you based on fear or feeling guilty.

 

Also she is not being aggressive toward herself, meaning she's not taking the anger and frustration out on her, but she did that on you (she was abusive toward you - physically and emotionally) and on your car.

What are the chanes she will commit suicide? To me it's almost impossible because she's an abuser - she chooses to abuse someboady else, not herself.

 

My very good friend had a bf like that. They dated 2 years. To make things worst the bastard was married and had a child. She decided to end things with him so he used the same approach. She didn't came back to him, but he managed to stay in contact with her for at least 6 months because of his so called suicidal calls, sms messagges...

I told her she's being stupid about it.

 

I made 2 very important points to her:

 

1. He never mentioned his friends or family how he wants to make a suicide. Never. He was in a great mood with them, having fun, working on his job just fine...the only time he was willing to kill himself was while talking to her. How convinient.

 

2. If he really wanted to kill himself in 6 months he would already do that. He wouldn't call her every day for 2 times and ,if she decided to ignore his attemts of comunicating, writing her a msg how he's going to jump of the bridge. (These msg were hilarious. Well at least to me, she was horrified.)

 

So I told her how next time when he calls, she can tell him before he says anything: You're still alive?!

 

At the very same moment when he realized he can't manipulate her anymore he decided to find a new victim.

 

 

If you were not a person who can be easily manipulated she would find some other guy to torture.

So she has to see how any kind of her behaviour has no affect on you.

 

 

Let's face it, when someone tells you: "I will kill myself and it will be your fault",

the only thing you can say is: "If you decided to do that, I can't do anything about it, it's your decision"

and than to hang up or leave (if you're on the phone or in person).

 

 

I suggest you the following:

 

1. change the number of your mobile phone

2. change the number of your normal phone (or if that can't be done, caller ID is great)

3. change the locks on your doors

4. if you can - move, change your adress (she damaged your car, why risking more).

5. find the reasons why you ended up in such situation at the first place.

[Bethany]

I disagree with syrix, nobody can be sure what an unstable person will do.

I do agree however that it is not your fault, and never be your fault.

 

Does she have family? They have the responsiblity for her, not you. But I do feel for you to be 'released' from this burden you should inform them immediately.

 

If not family, I would suggest you contact her doctor or the police as she could very well be a danger to herself and others, especially after the car incident.

She obviously needs help and you should TELL SOMEONE.

[Siriana]

I disagree with syrix, nobody can be sure what an unstable person will do.

 

I agree that we disagree.

 

I think that when someone really wants to make a sucide that person woan't tell you I will kill myself because of you, it will be your fault. In my eyes this is pure manipulation.

 

Also I agree with Bethany and I also mentioned that - killing yourself is a personal choice and no one is responsible for that besides the person who commits suicide.

[Bethany]

I understand what you are trying to say but people who are unstable don't have a rational mind and EVERY threat of suicide should be taken seriously. I know I wouldn't want to ignore any threats and I don't think the OP should either.

 

Even if it is manipulation and/or emotional blackmail, the fact is, you just don't know what they will do next. Like the car incident for example, I bet the OP didn't think she would or was capable of doing that either but she did it anyway. She seems desperate.

[Siriana]

She was hitting him, she was abusive - i really don't think he needs to be worried about her.

[pinballwizard]

Really, you all seem to be focusing on the wrong thing. There's a huge leap from "damaging your car" to offing yourself. She abused you, and the last thing you want to do, whatwentwrong19, is put your self back into that situation. If I were you, I'd call the cops, she's scared you, she's thrown a bottle through your window, she set your freakin' car on fire! She's not stable. Don't go back to her, regardless of what she claims she'll do.

 

Oh, and don't do the whole taser thing. Bad idea.

[HarleyHunny]

Usually (usually) if someone is going to commit suicide they do not take the time to make a phone call! However, should she go thru with it, her issues are much bigger than the one's she has with you. No way would it be your fault.....Do not take anymore of her phone calls and I'd look into getting a restraining order....Best of luck.

[jmantra]

I agree

 

I think a PFA and a trip to the local mental ward is in order here.