Valentine's Day

[desert_rose26]

Just wondering how or what plans you have for those of you in a cyber relationship? I'd like to get some tips...I also have a few ideas:

1. Get a postal office box address (for safety) and ask for his address to send each other surprises. It might not even arrive on time for some of us.

 

2. Get him or her a virtual gift (free on websites) like flowers, or candy, but they have a variety of stuff, even virtual money..haha.

 

3. Just send a simple e-card or make one digitally with pics.

 

or maybe just do nothing...which is kinda boring.

Anyone want to add to this list?

[Batya33]

What kind of "relationship" is it if the people involved don't trust each other enough to give real mailing addresses? In that case I would think any acknowledgement of valentine's day is premature.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Trying to think of things you could send online - you could send music, couldn't you? So a sort of virtual 'mix' tape, perhaps?

[desert_rose26]

What kind of "relationship" is it if the people involved don't trust each other enough to give real mailing addresses? In that case I would think any acknowledgement of valentine's day is premature.

 

Hi, I knew this was going to come up but yes, I do trust him but since I've never met the person f2f, I cannot truly trust a person through the internet 100% ya know? So, for me, safety is key. You never know WHO the person really is even though you THINK u know. My heart trusts it but I have to think with my head, as always being I'm a cautious person. But yea, maybe this is premature.

 

I mean, would YOU give out your personal address to someone over the internet that you never met before?

[Batya33]

No, of course not but I would never consider a person I hadn't met face to face as someone I was in a romantic relationship with, either. If all of you doesn't trust him it doesn't matter- heart, head, etc -without trust there cannot be a real relationship and given that you only type and talk to this person he is for purposes of a romantic relationship a complete stranger. Nothing is clearer - at least to me - to show that this is not a romantic relationship - than the fact that you cannot give him your real address.

 

To me a cyber relationship is synonymous with e-mail buddies or pen pals - and if you would send an email buddy or pen pal a valentine's e-card, then obviously there's no problem sending that to him.

[desert_rose26]

Yes, I know. I don't consider it as a "real" romantic relationship at all...wait, maybe almost. Maybe I'm naive...but ok, thanks. I will send ecard instead - thanks for putting things in perspective for me. But for the record, the strongest element in our "relationship" IS trust. Isn't that ironic?

 

I guess time will tell as always.

[desert_rose26]

Trying to think of things you could send online - you could send music, couldn't you? So a sort of virtual 'mix' tape, perhaps?

 

Hi and thanks, it's funny you mentioned sending music...because we don't even like the same type of music - is that a bad thing?

[Batya33]

Yes, I know. I don't consider it as a "real" romantic relationship at all...wait, maybe almost. Maybe I'm naive...but ok, thanks. I will send ecard instead - thanks for putting things in perspective for me. But for the record, the strongest element in our "relationship" IS trust. Isn't that ironic?

 

I guess time will tell as always.

 

No not at all - you have chosen to trust the image you have of him on line through typing and talking. And if it is that weak that you can't send him your address I have to question how strong the other elements are.

 

I hope you decide to look for and date men you can date in person consistently - at least once or twice a week.

[desert_rose26]

well, no one can trust a person enough on the internet to send their address to anyone. It's not the relationship problem, it's the internet. So if I used another address, it doesn't mean we're lacking trust, it means safety is top priority. And I wasn't looking to date any guys over the internet, it was just a happy accident.

 

Now I'm thinking, well, since I trust this guy I will have no problem giving him my address.

[Batya33]

well, no one can trust a person enough on the internet to send their address to anyone. It's not the relationship problem, it's the internet. So if I used another address, it doesn't mean we're lacking trust, it means safety is top priority. And I wasn't looking to date any guys over the internet, it was just a happy accident.

 

Now I'm thinking, well, since I trust this guy I will have no problem giving him my address.

 

I disagree- it's the problem of believing you have a real romantic relationship with someone you have never met in person and the problem of pursuing a "romantic relationship" through typing and talking only. This is one example of why it's certainly not real and cannot be real until you meet in person and spend consistent time together in person.

[desert_rose26]

I never said it was a "real" romantic relationship. I said "almost". It's a Cyber Relationship, that's why it's in this forum. I know you mean well but I think we had a misunderstanding.

[Batya33]

Yes, and if it is a "cyber relationship" or what I refer to as "email penpals" then you should not acknowledge valentine's day in a way that someone in a real romantic relationship would. You called it a cyber relationship but you are treating it as if it is a romantic relationship with your reference to acknowledging valentine's day. You can't have it both ways - which is a good thing for you, because hopefully that will motivate you to find a real romantic relationship with a person you can meet in real life and see regularly.

[Honey_30]

you forgot to add IMO batya33

[Batya33]

you forgot to add IMO batya33

 

Yes I did and it probably wasn't entirely a mistake. My opinion on this is very strong and approaches "fact" not opinion since inherently I do not think there can be a romantic relationship between two people who have never met in person (i.e. other than in movies, hollywood, etc).