When do you call it quits?

[fox_91]

Is there a time when you have to cut your losses and leave? I have been talking to a girl now for 3 months, but I can't get a answer from her whether or not she likes me. I know she said she wants to take things slow and get to know each other some, but how long to do you sit around and wonder if you are ever going to move on past this waiting stuff? I like the girl and I am totally ready to commit to a relationship, and she knows this, but when is it just waiting for her to be ready and sitting around being played?

[Agathon]

Well... you have a delima.

 

I waited for one girl for almost a year... she was single, and is now going out with some other guy.

 

I waited for another girl, with a boyfriend, for several months.... I've been with her for nearly a year.

 

You have to decide whats worth the risk to you. Is the attraction holding you back, or is there something to be earned from it?

[friscodj]

Hey fox-

 

I think generally when the frustration of the situation comes to a head and surpasses your desire to stick around, the question will answer itself.

 

This is also based on experience as well, as more experience allows you to see the situation and make good predictions on future directions based on what you see.

 

But again, let's not forget that "waiting around" does not equate to you sitting lonely and miserable in the corner of a dark room here. You can certainly go out and enjoy yourself with other people, not even thinking about this as a waiting process. Doing this might change your perspective on this woman, unstick you from the situation a bit, which may in turn create some necessary distance between you two that might have the nice ancillary benefit of making you seem more attractive.

[Beec]

Yikes, I would have moved on long ago. I also would never ask how she felt about me, I'd just bust a move and let her response tell me. And that has worked for me on too many occasions to count.

[letigr]

My philosophy is that if it is love, but he/she is with someone else, whats the point of him/her making you wait? Sure, 1 month or 2 months for her to sort out leaving her last relationship... but if she's making you wait longer, it's probably not love, just a fancy or a tease.

 

Take it as a compliment, but move on.

[Momene]

Look for other opportunities at the same time.

[fox_91]

Well I talked to her yesterday. I don't want to write her off because i do like her. I did notice how hard it is to make plans with her, so i put the ball in her hands to call me with something. If she doesn't then fine, i can move on. But maybe after talking with her she might see that she was being like that and might surprise me..... yeh and maybe im a Chinese jet pilot (and im not btw lol)

[friscodj]

Well, you did what you did. Just realize it is not up to her and her contact, or lack thereof, with you dictating if/when you can move on.

 

Emotions in-and-of themselves are not the best basis for your actions. You like her, great. You can like the memory of her, and better yet, like more the idea of meeting someone else who will be into you.

 

Sometimes you've got to decide to walk away from someone you like in the name of self preservation. That's life and it sucks sometimes but you may find that doing this was the best thing you could have done in situations like this.