Stressed out..Advice

[Thekid415]

Got into an argument with my girlfriend on Saturday night. She told me to "get out". She's upset because she feels that I don't and will never love her the way I loved my ex. She wants more children and I don't..

 

I feel that I show her tons of love. She always makes references back to sacrifices that I made for my ex when my ex and I were together. I always say, "I regret making many of those sacrifices", and have since learned from my mistakes.

 

I compromised who I am as a person one too many times with my ex. I vowed to myself, NEVER AGAIN!! My current girlfriend feels that's the ultimate sacrifice in love and means I really loved my ex, I feel its stupidity..

 

Examples : I never wanted children I let my ex talk me into it, never had a desire to be married, but I asked her to marry me.. She didn't like my friends so I stopped hanging out with them..

 

I was with my ex for 7 years. With my current girl for almost 2. Its been a constant problem in our relationship. Also the fact that I no longer have a desire to have children and don't want to be married. I have one child and I feel that's enough. My current girlfriend also has 2 of her own.

 

My problem is she wants me out(her home), but I have absolutely no where to go.. No family, friends etc.. I moved out here from Georgia all of my family is back south. I just started a new job and I'm just now getting on my feet.

 

Talking to her isn't an option.. She wants me out..

[fnlyfrei]

Sounds like you should get out. Let her find someone who wants marriage and babies. Sounds like your only problem with everything is that it is you have no where to go...I didn't hear any regrets or emotions in there...too bad. If you don't love her enough to compromise...I guess you will have to find different room and board. Small price to pay , for your freedom. After all, that is what you ulitmately want isn't it??

[Thekid415]

I love her, but I guess after going through a break-up you know its light at the end of the road. So the second one doesn't sting as much..

 

I'm willing to compromise, just not on the babies!!

[fnlyfrei]

Tell her that...get fixed too.

[need2bme]

Compromising about babies should never happen. That would be one big compromise. Did you guys talk about this in the beginning? That is a HUGE step.

 

Do you think she might talk, if you give her some time to calm down? I think she would. When you told her how you felt, did you sit down with her and do it objectlively and with your heart? My ex did not want children either and I was slighted a little at first. I wanted one more. Now, after 13 years, we are no longer together and I don't know what I would have done, had we had children.

 

Also, I too am far away from my family and I totally know how you feel. Luckily, I had a credit card to move on. Now I have major debt.

[fnlyfrei]

I am currently in a relationship where there are major "peace talks"...going on...we are considering marriage...which is I am sure is as mortifying for him as it is for me right now...( I was formerly married almost for 20 years and he has been divorced for 14 years) I am afraid of making the same mistakes twice...and I refuse. Right now we are debating religion. He is a christian and I am generally spiritual and do not believe in organized churches really...and he doesn't understand that. (I have my reasons) But he brought up a good point....if I do not believe in the church...what kind of wedding ceremony would we have? I did not want to be disrespectful...but I secretly thought...(hey, it would be cool to have a voodoo ceremony in a wiccan hut, performed by a buddist monk!) but that would have cheesed my bf off....

 

I guess it is about compromise. If you love her and would WANT to marry her, and if she would reconsider the baby thing....maybe things could work ! If she stands her ground and so do you...move on!