Ex won't stay away from my workplace!!! Help!

[zztop]

Hi Everyone! Happy New Year!

 

Here is my predicament. I broke up with my ex a year ago however we had to see each other everyday as we were in school together, we continued in close contact all the time. However, he in general didn't treatment me very well and I decided I didn't want to be his friend as much as didn't want to be his girlfriend. So I broke that off too and have had 2 months of blissful no contact.

 

BUT!! I share a studio with 3 people. We recently took on a fourth. Unfortunately the 4th is a friend o my ex and now they are hanging out there, drinking beer and guffawing while I try to work!!! I am not a drinking type and am serious about my career. I told him explicitly " do not come to my studio especially". I am outraged. I am definitely not in any physical danger but definitely in an emotional one. I spent yesterday cowering in my space, afriad to go to the bathroom that I might run into him.

I understand that I may run into him at a bar or some public place but my studio is my sanctuary!!

 

What do I do? Do I have any legal recourse? I mean, I do pay rent there and as far as I am concerned he is trespassing.

[gfein347]

As far as legal recourse, I'm not sure. Even though you pay the rent there, and to you he's trespassing, his friend also pays the rent there, and to his friend, he's a welcome guest. I think you should talk to your ex's friend about this. Tell him how much you dislike your ex being there and how much it's detracting from your ability to focus on your career. If this doesn't work, is it possible to find another studio?

[zztop]

unfortunately no!!! I worked so hard to find this one! It is everything I wanted and I could never find one comparable. Otherwise I would move immediately.

[xmrth]

I would definitely talk to your friend-- the friend of your ex. Express how you feel and how much it hurts you; I bet it wouldn't kill him to hang out somewhere else because I'm sure your ex isn't his ONE and ONLY friend who equals EVERYONE. It's not like you're asking him to keep all his friends out-- just that one. That really is your best bet since you can't get another studio as this one is so good for you.

[zztop]

I spoke to the friend just now and he thinks I am being a * * * * * and should just get over it. I feel trapped by disrespect, funny how it parallels my realtionship with this guy. But short of physically attacking him what can I do?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

It is not normal for people to hang around a place of work/business drinking and guffawing on a regular basis... you are not a 7-11 or sports bar...

 

Is there anything you can do about it with your landlord? explain the situation and maybe he can get rid of the renter who is disrupting his other tenants.

 

If that doesn't work, then you might just have to move if it is distracting you from your work. it is just not worth it, no matter how much you like your studio... it is like having a skunk you can't evict moving under your front porch... if every day he is stinking up the place and you can't get rid of him, time to move!

[sweetheart21]

I spent yesterday cowering in my space, afriad to go to the bathroom that I might run into him.

 

Thats awful that you have to feel like that in your own studio. Why does he make you feel like this? Is he nasty when he speaks to you?

[zztop]

yes, he is nasty and dismissive. He has made it clear that he will not respect me no matter what. He is oneof these guys who thinks to be masculine you can't respect women, you have to control them.