Appearance-related question

[charley]

Actually, a smart woman will use EVERY advantage at her disposal. Ruthless, sure, but it's the 'Way of the Road.' lol

 

Not true. I know smart, beautiful women who make it a point of character not to use their looks to gain unfair advantage in the workplace or in school. I respect them greatly. In romance, that's different because all is fair in love and war. In romance you take every advantage you can.

[charley]

Quite frankly, I could be happy with A or B. Why?

 

Well, A would be great, if she really will be forever.

 

B would be great too, because it makes it all the easier to get A.

 

Can't go wrong either way.

[charley]

Actually, a smart woman will use EVERY advantage at her disposal. Ruthless, sure, but it's the 'Way of the Road.' lol

 

Don't confuse smart with ruthless. There is a huge difference. One is about intelligence. The other is about character.

[Kevin T]

Who are we to judge morality or ethics?

[Dako]

I don't think most women are so manipulative.

Most just wanna meet a guy that makes them happy.

Maybe I'm a Pollyanna, but I like wimmen.

[Kevin T]

Either way, it doesn't pertain to the original question, so I don't care. The last thing I want is to get off-topic on this.

[charley]

Who are we to judge morality or ethics?

 

I'm going to introduce you and Lily to some feminists. They'll set you straight.

 

In addition, those things are illegal in the workplace and school and against all workplace and school rules and policies for good reasons. It's unethical and immoral and any business manager, school administrator, law maker, or feminist knows why. Not to mention it's poor character.

 

My judgement is in line with the culture and policies of every institution both private and government in the USA. I'm not telling you my opinion of it. I'm telling you it's wrong and universally accepted and known as wrong.

[charley]

I don't think most women are so manipulative.

Most just wanna meet a guy that makes them happy.

Maybe I'm a Pollanna, but I like wimmen.

 

I agree with regard to the goodness of most women. However, she specifically referred to using her looks to gain unfair advantage in work place. I pointed out that it's not cool to do so, and then they argue with me about it? Why not tell me I have no right to judge someone who steals? That's exactly what using looks to gain unfair advantage at work is. It's stealing opportunities from others by unfair, unethical, and illegal behavior. Full stop.

[Dako]

Sure,

Some gals use their wiles to get ahead, but they also become known for it pretty quickly.

[charley]

Sure,

Some gals use their wiles to get ahead, but they also become known for it pretty quickly.

 

So we agree that it's wrong, then? (If someone will say yes, then I'll shut up.)

[Dako]

Yes.

--------

[zerohalo]

I could go for A or B. I know I'm no prize physically, but I don't really consider myself ugly either. If I had a beautiful, loving woman that really loved me, could I be ok with being fugly? Yeah I think I could, but it would be tough because I'd be self conscious about it. I'd worry that cause I was so ugly she'd want someone else.

 

If I was all purdy and single then I know at some point I'd find that special someone. But being overly attractive does have its downsides (believe it or not!) because you run into more people that don't really care about who you are. No first hand experience here, but I've had a few pretty people complain to me about it. I was torn between telling them 'boo hoo' or kicking them in the nads. Honestly though, I could see where they were coming from.

 

If you really twisted me arm on this one, I'd go with A), but only if I had a little more self confidence.

[Boughs]

B

 

Bros before hoes.

[charley]

Who said fugly? That's a whole nother level. Oh well, I could go on a diet if I was fugly. I did go on a diet when I was fat (224) and got down to 180 and stayed there for 3 years. Being fat is a solveable problem. You look good and to cool for school. Your false modesty is endearing though.

[zerohalo]

You look good and to cool for school. Your false modesty is endearing though.

My future is so bright that I need to wear........ nah. I'm not gonna go there. And trust me charles, it ain't false, and it ain't modesty.

[charley]

My future is so bright that I need to wear........ nah. I'm not gonna go there. And trust me charles, it ain't false, and it ain't modesty.

 

Well, I think you look cool. So take the compliment. I'll bet some babe(s) will think you look cool too.

[Kevin T]

Yuk... this topic makes me sick.

[zerohalo]

Aren't you the one who started it?

 

What's wrong, not getting the answer you hoped for? I'll admit I'm surprised at the number of "I'd rather be pretty" answers.

[Aurian]

You don't look fugly to me!

 

Appearances is soooo subjective isn't it? And ugly is very rarely PERMANENT. Sometimes "ugly" can be fixed with a bit of effort and a lot of confidence. And when its love, ugly can suddenly transform into Prince Charming in the eyes of the smitten.

 

A for me

[Kevin T]

Aren't you the one who started it?

 

What's wrong, not getting the answer you hoped for? I'll admit I'm surprised at the number of "I'd rather be pretty" answers.

 

Not exactly. It's nothing for you to worry about.

 

And when its love, ugly can suddenly transform into Prince Charming in the eyes of the smitten.

 

A for me

 

Absolutely!

 

That was why I chose A as well. When you love someone, you become more attracted to them. I can personally vouch for this. Who cares what the world would see, as long as you were happy (and the other person too), what else matters?

[charley]

Aren't you the one who started it?

 

What's wrong, not getting the answer you hoped for? I'll admit I'm surprised at the number of "I'd rather be pretty" answers.

 

My final answer was that I don't care either way because either way I'd get the babe. A or B would work out just fine.

[Lily04]

I'm going to introduce you and Lily to some feminists. They'll set you straight.

 

In addition, those things are illegal in the workplace and school and against all workplace and school rules and policies for good reasons. It's unethical and immoral and any business manager, school administrator, law maker, or feminist knows why. Not to mention it's poor character.

 

My judgement is in line with the culture and policies of every institution both private and government in the USA. I'm not telling you my opinion of it. I'm telling you it's wrong and universally accepted and known as wrong.

 

 

umm what the heck are you talking about????????? you COMPLETELY misinterpreted what I said. I use looks & brains to get my way but looks is something you don't even contemplate. I don't get my way because I bribe any person in authority with sexual offers or anything that would jeopardize my integrity. I value my integrity and am an ethical person. I am also a negotiator & mediator, however, and know *subconsciously* that people who are goodlooking haev an easier time getting their way. It doesn't even have to be related to looks -- if someone is attracted to your personality or simply likes your personality it also makes it easier to get your way, or improve yoru odds at something. That's not illegal just as how being physically attractive isn't either. It just makes things easier for you.

 

That is not in any way jeopardizing the ethics or integrity of a situation. You completely misconstrued what I meant. I mean that I can tell when someone is attracted to me, and I subconsciously know that it makes it easier for me to get some things, but that's not to say I manipulate the situation to necessarily get an unfair advantage, or risk my integrity in any way. I hope that helps because I like you to some extent as well, Charley, but don't appreciate the fact that you somewhat jumped to conclusions with this, the same way you said I 'dumped our friendship?' I wasn't on ENA between Sept -- Nov. and just came on about a month ago, haven't seen any of your posts since then. I didn't stop replying because your popularity dropped or rose, whatever happened... I honestly don't care about such things.

 

Thanks. Lily

[rosie76]

If I was all purdy and single then I know at some point I'd find that special someone.

 

There are a couple of posters following this logic, and I don't agree at all!

While being attractive may help on the dating scene I think it's got very little to do with love proper. So folks who chose B may spend a lot of time out on dates, but who's to say if they'll make that connection with someone and then make a relationship work?

 

Maybe I'm too picky, but it's really hard to find people you click with full stop, much less ones you want to grow old and have babies with. I'd like to think it's an inevitable result of looking nice - then all I'd need to do is go spend gobs of money on useless potions, clothes, and make-up like all those inane adverts tell me to - but I really don't think that's the answer. Truth is, meeting people who you have a deep connection with is a genuine blessing and much more so if the two of you can make a relationship work.

 

Most boyfriends I've had weren't that attractive to me at the start, but their personalities clicked with mine, and the attraction grew as we got closer. As a so-so looking woman who's often insecure, I'd not enjoy being very unattractive through life, but I assume I'd feel beautiful with someone who really cares for me, just as they're beautiful to me.

 

I'll take A, hands down, no questions.

[Baby Jane]

B, I couldn't live without my looks.

 

I rather live life as a goddess and not finding love, than live one as being hideous with love...

 

I guess, what I'm saying is that image is what I love most because yes, I'm that damn vain.

 

I live for lust and yes, I live for my image also.

 

I can handle being single...besides, I'm already living it and I seem to be ok.

[rosie76]

B, I couldn't live without my looks.

 

But what happens when you grow old?