Once a loser, always a loser?

[pianoguy]

I didn't change too much socially from high school to college, but that's probably because I attended school close to home and kept a lot of the same friends. I didn't challenge myself enough.

 

This is an interesting point. Now that I think back on my undergrad years the people that were local did tend to stay in the groups they had already formed in high school, and their personalities tended to grow less than people from further away. I think if you're going to a local school you just have to try a bit harder to meet people you don't already know, since you're already comfortable with the friends you already have.

[opiate92]

The answer depends on whether said shy person wants to start drinking or not. Perhaps it is different at Harvard and Yale - but I went to a state school and didn't really get any more outgoing because I quickly shunned in the dorm as "that weirdo that won't go drinking with us."

 

It continues to this day as the guys at work invite me to go bar hopping every friday and every friday I refuse. (and yes, I did go with them once or twice to give it a chance)

 

In college your ability to be popular is determined by whether you want to adhere to the established conventions (partying, sex, etc.)

 

In high school your ability is determined by who you've been friends with, your appearance, and how strict your parents are.

 

Thus, someone who WANTS to party but has strict parents will be unpopular in high school but very popular in college.

 

By reverse someone (like me) who had a lot of friends in high school (drinking was riskier then so few cared that I didn't do it) and no curfew ended up being a "loser" in college because I didn't socialize "properly."

 

I imagine things would have been different if I went to Yale, after all I don't remember hearing about anybody burning cars after their football team beat Harvard....