I need advice on finally ending it.

[Eileen101]

Thank you very much for your posts and thoughts on the situation. Yes it is all good things for me to think about. Especially when it comes to the kids. He has always had poor or little or lack of the right judgement when it comes to the children. You would think that he would stop and think "this isn't ok or good for my kids" but he is so self absorbed most of the time that he just doesn't have the capacity to think about that. HE keeps saying that it would be better FOR his children if he was no longer around. I keep telling him that he is very wrong and that they need him no matter what.

I am very happy to say that he actually made a tiny step in the right direction. He saw his physician on Saturday and told him about some ailments he has and while he was at it he let him know how depressed he was. His Dr. actually perscribed something for him in the way of anti-deressents and when he came back from the Dr.'s office I talked with him about it a little bit and I mentioned to him that maybe once he is feeling a little bit better from the medication he is on now that maybe, just maybe, he can start some counseling and he actually seemed somewhat open to that. I was surprised by that and hopeful as well. I think that the two combined would be a great start. I know that it is a long hard road to recover from something like this and it takes committment and hard work but I think if he is able to make the effort and start to see some results that maybe he would be able to start to enjoy life or living again. Not that he has ever really been that different to how this is the entire time that I have known him, the better part of ten yrs. I think that he has had an undiagnosed condition or what have you all his life and has just lived with it. But everything comes to a head eventually and he even knows that it has gotten to a unmanagable level. I try to balance it out as best as I can with my children. I don't want their little minds and hearts to be affected by this and I know how smart kids are. They observe everything and know so much more than what they let on even. But I want them to have a dad. All of them. He has two kids by his ex and I think of them just as much. I know that his oldest would be extremely devestated. She is so much like him that it is really scary. She has all the same traits and characteristics. They are a mirror image of each other. I know that she is going to battle all of the same issues. I am glad that her mom is aware of that and is keeping a close eye on it. She actually has her in counseling now. I know that all we can do is what we can do and hope for the best. I just need to know that he is trying or cares in some small measure or I am wasting my time. Thank you all for your support and input. I can't tell you how much it means to have a place to get feedback when it seems like there is no where else in the world to turn. God bless you guys, Eileen.

[trainwreck]

Wow! you really spelled out exactly the person i have been trying to leave for years...they won't let you go...it is like poison in your body...i have told this person that i hate him and wish he would die (some days i really meant it) but it never penetrates him...he will smirk and walk away...and come back the next day as if nothing happened...thanks

[Billee]

Learn To Love Your Self More!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!