Online dating questions

[RayKay]

I know some have had a bad experience with online dating; but I really believe it is all about how you use it and your expectations for it. And your attitute...sure I met some flakes, but that does not mean EVERYONE is one. I mean I knew I was on there, and my reasons for being there; and that I was really a great person so why would there not be others?

 

Anyway, it is not just for "losers" (whatever that means) and people whom cannot meet people in "real life". I never had a problem meeting people; the problem was meeting the right people, when I had a busy job, a busy training schedule and was NOT into the bar scene. I decided it was better to set myself up on blind dates than have others do it!

 

Online should be treated as part of "real life", in that you should use it as a MODE to meet people whom you will date in real life. You are not meant to actually have a "relationship" online...I always met people whom were mutually interested within a week or two.

 

I met many great, smart, attractive, fun men. I neved used it as my SOLE method, or thought of it as a "supermarket" where you pick what you want and its yours....you have to meet soon, find out if the same chemistry is there in real life, and if not, move on. I still dated people I met in real life. I dated a couple men from online whom did not work out, and I met my boyfriend online after a couple years of being on it on and off; and we have been together ever since. Funny thing was we had many friends in common; but we had never met! I certainly do not regret that we needed to meet online in order to meet!

[BrokenHeart82]

I went on a date with a guy who seemed cool on the phone and the date was a blast but then at the end we were saying our goodbyes and he launched into a ten minute conversation about my body language!

 

He said things like "you do this when youre nervous" and even "I think you werent being honest when you told me that because you did X and X, I need honesty and dont think this will work" Why wait till the end after having such a seemingly cool time? Wac-A-Moles.....

 

I was in shock and finally said "So how much do I owe for this session?" and walked away.

[insofar]

Are you new to the on-line dating thing? Well i can assure you that on-line dating is rubbish. Why? Its for shy people and what the commonfolks of society would describe as losers. Why? Well if you have to use an on-line dating site, it means most people find you are either to ugly/fat/shy or other negative trait in real life.

 

If your smoking hot , you wouldn't need to grab towards an on-line dating site, unless you are incredibly shy.

 

Another big negative is LDR, the "oh i think you are so handsome, to bad you live 3 oceans and 20 000 miles away on some forgotton Robinson crusoe's island, otherwhise id pay you a visit" , honestly its better to get into contact with a real someone from within your inner circle instead of a virtual imposter.

Wow. I would probably cuss you out but I don't want to annoy the mods. Whether you meant to or not, you basically just called anyone who uses online dating a loser. Suffice it to say that perhaps some of us don't fit into your tiny view of the world around you. Perhaps it's just convenient for some of us to be able to find like-minded singles easily, and certainly not to the exclusion of meeting people offline as well. And if you want to find someone local... you search for someone local.

 

Anyway. I've had one response and a couple where the women contacted me (not counting the obvious spambots or weird Russian emigrants), and of those, one has turned into a date so far (this is over the last month or so). I'd estimate about a 30% response rate so far (that said, I haven't sent many messages).

 

Edit: I should probably mention that this is on link removed; I haven't seriously tried others yet, since this one seems to be working well for me.

 

Also,

I was in shock and finally said "So how much do I owe for this session?" and walked away.

That is awesome.

[Aurian]

A couple online dating related questions:

 

1. I've read stories that there are fake profiles on yahoo personals and link removed. You can almost tell the fake ones because they all seem 'too good to be true'. About what percentage of the women on those sites would you estimate are fake?

 

2. Guys - what is your batting average online? I just want to see what other people's experiences are like. fill in the blanks:

 

For every ___ girls I message on the online personals, ___ message me back.

 

For every ___ girls that message me back, ___ turn into actual dates.

 

Thanks!

 

(PS - I know I was just complaining that I wasn't getting much attention a week or two ago, but that seems to have changed all the sudden. I guess everyone was too busy shovelling the snow outta their driveways or something)

 

I just started online dating myself at the beginning of the month. I have tried out a few sites... I fill out profiles completely and include a picture.

 

link removed - big disappointment. No responses to my smiles and no smiles directed my way. I get the feeling that there are just pictures there and nobody home.

 

eHarmony - Best one for me so far. I like this one the most so far. Some people don't get very many matches, but I seem to be rather compatible. I get 6 new matches every day, and am carrying on a few email conversations getting to know 4 guys there are the moment. I also have a HUGE backlog of other interesting guys and this is after I've been picky with the matches delievered to me.

 

Lavalife - hm.... I'm on the fence. The whole credits as opposed to paying for entire months seems like a good idea, but I get the feeling that I am just seeing the same 50 guys over and over. I've gotten one coffee date (didn't go well), one chat date (ended badly), a few smiles but no followups, and one email conversation in the running. Seems like people just want to wink and look on this site sometimes.

 

Plentyoffish - Bah. Not much response and not much interest. I'm just one more fishy in a big ol sea of em! Also, a LOT of people seem to be on there for friends, which make it a bit frustrating when you get emails back saying "sorry, I'm just on for friends, good luck!". Only emails I got to me were creepy one-liners, and I had no interested takers for my own.

 

Okcupid - just checked this one out the other day. I think this free site is more friendly and immersive than plentyoffish.

 

As far as messages go... I'm a girl, and I sent about 50 emails/winks I suppose. Outside of eHarmony, none responded. All the conversations I got running now are ones where the guy contacted me first.

 

In one month, one coffee date, two e-chat dates and several ongoing getting-to-know-you email-chains.

[philosophia]

link removed - best looking women, but it feels like a lot may be fakes. I've gotten winks and dates off of here, but you have to message more people to get a response. link removed is semi yuppie-ish.

 

 

eHarmony - never tried it.

Lavalife - never tried it.

 

Plentyoffish - You get what you pay for - a free site, web interface is horrendously bad. Uploading pics seems to distort them to fit the standard size for the site. People are generally *FUGLY* - but that may just be my area. POF seems to have lots of babes in Canada, where it originated. These people seem real, however, as opposed to link removed. I've gotten many dates off here, mainly with crazy {mod edit}| and attention {mod edit}.

 

OKCupid - People on this site seem obsessed with tests - making up tests, and taking tests. I find this distracting from what the site should really be about - hooking up. At least in my area, there are slim pickings. It seems like I see the same 20 people over and over. One huge annoyance - you cannot delete your profile from the site, it is always there. People are generally mediocre to below average in looks. People are a lot more artsy than on link removed.

 

link removed personals - link removed has a longer profile, but link removed has a really difficult profile to fill out that fulfills the function of making everyone sound like a pretentious tool. Women are mediocre to hot looking on this site, and slightly more artsy though semi yuppie.

 

craigslist - No pics on this site, you go straight to the 'email tag' game of trying to get pics and/or a phone number. Advantage of CL is that it is much simpler to place an ad than fill out a typical online personals profile, disadvantage of CL is that the people are usually of low quality, although I have dated some extremely attractive women off of CL.

 

--in all of the above sites, women seem to be extremely stuckup and snobby due to the 50 emails a day they receive from horny desperate guys making them think their {mod edit} don't stink and they are god's gift to men.

[Aurian]

50 emails a day? I've been around for a month, and I don't have half that from all the sites!

 

Maybe I am different, but I do ignore the one-liners and creepy emails. I respond to almost all the emails I've received that the guy put a bit of time into.

[hosswhispra]

All the conversations I got running now are ones where the guy contacted me first.

 

Interesting.....I am a female and that has been my experience, too.

[annie24]

As far as messages go... I'm a girl, and I sent about 50 emails/winks I suppose. Outside of eHarmony, none responded. All the conversations I got running now are ones where the guy contacted me first.

 

I never winked at so many guys but that has been my experience too. I think because men are very visual, if you don't fit their "type", they just won't be interested and ask you out. Actually, I did wink at a guy once, and then he e-mailed me back and forth, and then he asked me out. I thought we had a nice time, but he sent me an e-mail later saying that he didn't think we "clicked."

 

The couples where I have seen the woman contacting the man first work.... when she just "beat him to the punch." ie, he was going to wink at her, but she just beat him to it.

[Starlight1607307521]

My friend is on link removed. Has been for about 6 weeks. She's had about 20guys e'mail her, to which she's responded to 6. She's had about 50 winks to which she's responded to about 10. She's sent 6 winks with 5 responses. She's e'mailed with one guy and spoken on the phone with him but she realised it wasn't going to work so didn't go on a date. She was e'mailing with another guy until he honestly told her she wasn't his type phsyically. She's picky, but in a good way. She doesn't see the point of pursuing anything with a guy she knows right away that nothing will happen. This ranges from their physical attraction to the type of things they put in their profile to what they say they're actually looking for.

[insofar]

OKCupid - People on this site seem obsessed with tests - making up tests, and taking tests. I find this distracting from what the site should really be about - hooking up. At least in my area, there are slim pickings. It seems like I see the same 20 people over and over. One huge annoyance - you cannot delete your profile from the site, it is always there. People are generally mediocre to below average in looks. People are a lot more artsy than on link removed.

Acutally, you can; I don't know if they've added this since you used it, but it's in My Stuff -> Edit Settings, at the bottom click Show Delete Account Options.

 

The couples where I have seen the woman contacting the man first work.... when she just "beat him to the punch." ie, he was going to wink at her, but she just beat him to it.

That's how it worked with the latest person I've been talking to (though I never "woo", just message). Tis a nice feeling.

[Slyght]

I've been on Yahoo for a while (maybe 6 months) and Match for a couple months. As a 24 year old, I've found it to be slim pickings for girls in their young 20's on these types of sites, most of which are either people that just moved to the area or are in grad school and don't get to meet a lot of people. I'm sure there's a couple rebounders and girls looking for older men as well. I've sent out a couple winks/messages on Yahoo that didn't get a response to, and have yet to wink/message anybody on Match. I have gotten a couple winks/messages on both of those sites, but haven't been impressed enough by anybody so far to write back.

 

The only exception was last month a cute girl winked me, we started communicating and started dating for a couple weeks, but she suddenly broke it off when she decided she wasn't ready to date (ended up she was a rebounder)

[DragonGirl724]

I found a past BF of mine online...but not off a dating service..I just started making fun of him in a random chat room. LOL

 

we were together for about a year & a half. but I will never go into another chat room again. haha

 

-DG724