A Dilemma

[naiveme]

Hi there,

 

Sorry this is another post by me - getting addicted to this place and advice that is offered.

 

Met up with this girl (we are both in mid 20s) 3 times since she contacted me on an online dating site. And we have also chatted online and texted for a month as well. Due to meet her again this weekend.

 

Although have a little dilemma - I am looking to move to a new area (where she stays and works and also where I work) and am looking to get a flat but need someone to share with. She is staying in basic accommodation just a bedroom and shared facilities and has said that she needs her own space but again she cannot afford a place of her own. Now should I ask her if she would consider being flatmates or not?

 

We are not dating at the moment but do get on well. I would not mind something more developing but at this stage it is too early to say that it would definitely happen.

 

Would it work if we shared a place and then we found we liked each other more than friends would it create problems? Or would it really create problems if we really started to see each other but then decided to get back together? Or would it create problems effectively living together (although with separate bedrooms and all) and then getting to know each other better?

 

And how would you react if someone asked you if you would consider sharing a flat with them when you have been seeing each other.

 

Thanks if you can offer any advice.

[Caine]

If you ask her to share a place with you, she may see it as moving to fast or that you're just offering her help, depends on what type of girl she is.

 

I don't think it would good if you're possibly just about to start a relationship to be living together, I think it would be too soon and I think you'd get bored of each other because you haven't had anytime to yourselves during the early stages, it may be great at first during the honey period because you'll want to with each other all the time, but then what after that, when it's all settled down?

 

You could bring it up to her as a joke. If you're discussing getting a place and she says she needs to get a place, say she moves in with you as a joke and gauge her reaction from that. If she does move in, you never know it might be great all the time, nobody can really say how it's gonna go.