Setting boundaries?

[Only Ty Crane]

My situation is one that is complicated and different but I'll go ahead and explain it anyway.

 

I turn 17 this Friday and I absolutely hate my parents. Hate is a strong word but that's truth as I am moving out when I turn 18. It's been like this since June 2005 and they don't understand why but it's like prison here.

 

Won't let me do a lot of things and don't understand my POV. I look at things on the gangsta side while they are two folks who do everything by the book and disagree with all of my opinion's.

 

So with me having to live in this hellhole for more year...it's gonna be tough. I was wondering if there's any way I can talk to them about setting boundaries? Like, basically what they can't prevent me from doing and what rules will have to take place for the next year. Plus about me stating my opinion and them getting mad.

 

Help, please. I want to get through living here in 2007 and not have it become a mess.

 

Thanks!

[Scout]

Please don't be offended, but I can't imagine a subculture that has more boundaries, requirements, expectations, and unspoken rules than the "gangsta" lifestyle. In fact, the very word "gangster" is the opposite of individualism. It means being part of a gang - a group of others who live exactly the same way.

 

So, it sounds to me like you and your parents have more in common than you realize. And that's the problem. You are both so rigidly holding on to your points of view, that you're not giving the other side a chance. One of you has to give a little, or nothing is ever going to get resolved.

 

What's holding you back from making the first move?

[CarnelianButterfly]

Why wait till your 18, move out now and find out what its like to have to support yourself and take care of bills and a job and being in charge of yourself all the time. You'll find out pretty quick that the gangsta lifestyle is really great on TV, but when you have a gun pointed at your face it will be a whole new perspective.

[Rabican]

as soon as you said that you look at things from the 'gangsta' point of view... you pretty much lost me. There is, never was, and never will be anything good about the gangsta life. The mere fact that you even consider that there is troubles me. And should very well trouble you as well. Ask yourself how one will become a productive member of society, educated, raise a family, stay out of jail, be successfull etc. when they are a gangsta. Unless you happen to fall into that rare category of rich gangstas (fifty cent, didnt he get shot?, 2pac... oops hes dead, notorius big... oops hes dead too, snoop dog... arrested again lately?) you wont be amounting to much. And even if you do... look at your role models ive listed above... definitely something to strive for.

 

Do yourself a favor, get an attitude adjustment, and listen to your parents. Drop the gangsta life. I had a friend with your attitude years ago, the minute he turned 18 he started making stupid mistakes that his mom could no longer fix... you want to know where he is now? PA state prison. 5-10.

[kermit]

What are your goals for education and employment (long term)? And can you achieve these objectives on your own, without your parents support?

 

Living by their rules might be the price you have to pay to get 'somewhere' in this world.

 

Or you could just be a 'gangsta'. That sounds really cool.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Ty

 

I tihnk you're on to something just by the very fact that you're looking for a solution. If I'm reading this right, you're looking for a compromise? Yeh?

 

As a parent, one thing I LOVE is when my children reason with me, negotiate, use logic and problem solving to overcome an issue.

 

You're on the right track asking for compromise.

 

I think you SHOULD take the idea to your parents and discuss it with them adult to adult.

 

BE PREPARED to ACT like an adult tho - if you are going to ask that they compromise, you'd better be ready and willing to make some concessions on your end as well.

 

Best of luck dude.

[kermit]

What sort of things do they prevent you from doing? Carrying a gun, or staying out past 10PM?

 

A bit of context might help people see your side of the story.