It's finally over...

[pocky_biscuz]

After two weeks of being in a 'break', it finally lead to the inevitable. I knew somewhat that it was happening so during the phone convosation i was somewhat calm. I told him that no matter where i'll be i'll always be there to support him and cheer him on. That i care and love him very much. Cried alot....on the phone not to beg him to stay, but just to tell him how important he means to me. Then he starts crying on the phone too. I told him after this, i'm going to take a trip...to Hong Kong where i came from. Just to getaway. I don't know how long i'll be but i'm getting a one way ticket. He kept asking if i really have to go and how i'm able to be contacted and i told him you can't really contact me because i can't even call my own mother in HK. Then he got upset and said he was going to find me a job in Toronto and stuff and i said i don't want any chance of running into him. He said we can't even be friends? I told him i can't be friends with him if i still love him. Then i asked for one last dinner before i go on travelling.

 

The next day i waited anxiously for him to call me so we can have our last dinner. I told him after this we'll never ever speak to each other again. I gave him our photo album back because it's too painful to look at and he frowned when he saw it, along with his condo keys and the phone string he got me. Dinner went really well, talked about movies and me going away, his business setup etc. There was a sad moment when i told him to go find a nice girl and it is important that she is true to you and not take advantage of you. He said i never took advantage of him and i said i know. Then we got all quiet......and sad and i told him while touching his hand that no matter where i go i'll always be here for you. Then he got all teary. Later on at dinner he invited me back to his place to watch a movie that we were talking about and asked if i was sure i wanted to go over i said yes. By then it was 10pm when we got to his place ( he lives 40mins from me) and when the movie was done after midnight, it was time to drive me back home. We shared a long hug...and said our goodbyes. He asked again why we can't stay friends and i said i just can't when i still have such strong emotions for you. Then it got to the part where i just don't want to leave and so we slept instead. We cuddled and there was obvious physical attraction there.....so as you all might have guessed....yes we did the deed but i just got off the birth control pill two weeks ago. Realizing that afterwards i got scared and he kept asking why i would want to do that to myself. I reassured him there's Plan B and that it takes a couple months for the body to get regulated anyways....if was my fault i kept him in there because part of me wants him baby.....but that's just emotions speaking. This is selfish i know and i will take full responsibility for this. I spent the night and he drove me back home in the icy snow early in the morning.

 

Is this the kind of behaviour that a dumper would do??? I mean, he pull the plug and he's acting so mopey and sad. When you break up with someone you just do it......i'm trying to move on but he's so keen on keeping contact.

 

We broke up for these reasons: he said he's in no state to keep a relationship, that we've been arguing alot recently (due to his business schedules) and he felt that i don't trust him which i 100% do!!). There's no third person in the picture......just seems like he doesn't want to break up. My girlfriend thinks the same thing. If that the case i'll still continue on doing my trip.......but keep at heart that it's just timing that's wrong.

[virgo25]

hey pocky! wow..we have a lot in common..my ex and i just broke up a while ago after being on a break for a few weeks..it was definitely hard but i know this is the best thing for me right now..he just isnt willing to make the effort to treat a girl right..and even though i told him i thought it would be best not to have contact for a while, he wants to talk and be friends right away..he refuses to admit it but we both need time to heal and be our own individuals again before we can start a friendship..its just sad..especially when this person was your friend before you started dating..and lastly, im also from toronto

all i can say, is hang in there..i know itll be hard but trust me, its been almost 2 weeks now since we officially broke up and although i havent talked to him, it has been one of the most difficult things, since youre mentally attached to them and also used to the routine of having them in your life..just be strong, know that this is the best thing for you right now and just focus your efforts on yourself..you deserve it..

[dogheadma]

What you're describing sounds like it is because of timing. Maybe after the two of you have had some time to focus on your personal lives, you can get back in touch, maybe not, but right now is the time that you need to focus on you. Sounds like you are doing what's right and best for you and so is he. It's tough sometimes. I wish you the best.

[need2bme]

It was explained to me that change is hard. We always gravitate to the easiest way and that is the straight line to what you know. It will always feel safe and comfortable in their arms.

 

It has also been said to me, that when it comes right down to it, noone probably knows you two, like you two. Right?

 

I have to know that I am worth being loved and I am worth not having to share someone. Now is the time to take care of you. You cannot make someone be with you that does not want to.

 

Believe me, I have been trying.